January 4, 2017 § Leave a comment



Simply known as, ECA



 Identifies, Provides and Displays the meaning of your heart sounds


The Device determines the meaning of the sounds of the beating heart. It is simple and easy, in monitoring the feel of your heart with prompt answerability.

Echocardia is a portable medical device designed to listen to the sounds of heart murmurs and murmurs that are of superfluous or unfamiliar sounds during heartbeats. The device records and displays them.

The heartbeat can be weak or vulgar and whizzing. The normal heartbeats make a “lub-dupp” as the first sound and “lub-dub” as a second sound, depicting the sound of the heart valves closing as blood moves through the heart. A stethoscope is what your Physicians use to listen to sounds of heartbeats and congestion in the lungs.

You can now see a display of your heart sounds and murmurs.

There are monitors that read heart rates, or create pictures of the heart but Echocardia can, reveal other abnormalities not easily measured by electronic devices.

From time immemorial, physicians used, their ears on patient’s chests to listen for abnormalities, however in 1816, Dr Laennec devised a method and in 1819, it was, named stethoscope, known today.

Today, blood pressures and blood sugars can be, controlled at home. Our new device can monitor our heart murmurs.

Thus, we are providing a, noninvasive device, Echocardia. It offers a wonderful service; it is prompt, efficient and accurate.

Usually People with abnormal heart murmurs have signs or symptoms of heart problems and the device can help to ascertain these anomalies. Children may have   murmurs. They are mostly congenital, defects,   present at birth. In adults, abnormal heart murmurs may be due to heart valve disease, and other conditions as well as infections, diseases, and aging.

Not all heart murmurs are pathological some can live their lives normally with their murmurs. The abnormal heart murmurs are often Age-related changes, rheumatic fever and infections.

Acquired heart valve disease is often the cause of abnormal heart murmurs in adults as well as heart valve diseases that develop as the result of another condition.

Scar tissue from a heart attack, rheumatism or injury to the heart, high blood pressure, heart failure, distortion of the heart valves due to other conditions, calcium deposits that thickens and stiffens the valves, infections e.g. streptococcus and anemia causing the blood to flow faster.


This is a small instrument measuring 6 inches by 3.5 inches, width ½ inch, the size of a mobile phone.

It has a strong microphone that picks up the heart sounds clearly and effectively, and transmits them into the device.

The microphone is, placed at

Right 2: Interspace near the sternum= Aortic.

Left 2: Interspace near the sternum= Pulmonic:

Left 3: Interspace= ERB`s point:

Left 5: Interspace= Tricuspid

Then, at the Apex= Mitral.

There will be a brochure illustrating these points

The device has ability to analyze the sounds, Wave Audio Editor, recording and editing the heart sounds.

Existing heart rhythms, normal and anomalies are, pre-recorded into the device with diagnosis of the type of heart condition.

The device identifies the rhythm. It couples itself to the sound and displays the diagnosis of the abnormal sound on the device, marked DISPLAY. The device offers automatically, advice to the individual person.

For example, contact a doctor; check again, it seems all right, it is unsure look for a doctor.

People with pathological murmurs may depict symptoms of the heart condition in the following manner.

The infants fail to grow. Their eating habits are poor. There is shortness of breath with corporeal exertion, extreme sweltering, chest pains, black outs and light-headedness, skin colour changes especially at the face, nose, lips and fingertips, fatigue, constant coughs, puffiness, veins and liver enlargements, weight increase.

The device analysis the weakness and the volume of the sounds. It depicts whether the sound occurs in the cycle of the heartbeat, where the sound is, heard, the pitch of the sound, low, medium or high, and how breathing and corporal activity or change in body position affects the sounds.

The backbone is a medical device focused on conveying to market an innovative heart-diagnosing product, Echocardia, into the system for people with heart problems.

In 2012, 17.5 million people died of cardiovascular diseases. Of these, 7.4 million people died of ischaemic heart Diseases and 6.7 million from stroke according to WHO.

Benefits =   IPD –   the meaning of heart beating sounds

  • Identifies
  • Provides   –
  • Displays


Thus, we bring to our customers a type of service and product quality. We have been designing equipment’s for over 25 years, and our experience and product expertise is the best. As, a result of our extensive occupancy in this business, we’ve developed alliances with companies that have clearly and consistently demonstrated superior product quality so you, our customer, can be poised towards your procurement of dependable and presentation oriented produce. Let us help you so that you can better help yourself and your families.


Is, designed to produce accurate records with determined meaning and reliability.   Echocardia, monitoring is new but will soon gain popularity for most people.

Patients who show signs of anxiety.

Patients with diabetes mellitus may suffer from ketoacidosis, associated with heart problems. Patients with acute heart problems and myocardial infarction may also benefit. In patients with abnormal heart murmurs Echocardia can help to ascertain early treatment and can prevent unnecessary deaths.

Echocardia offers a method in affording early diagnosis preventing unnecessary costs and deaths

The device is, designed for people suspected of heart problems in mind. It can be, applied without bodily exertion.

For the past two decades, it is becoming important that people have other apparatuses for managing their own health individualistically. The idea is a valuable supplement in people`s super vision. These procedures are indispensable in our world today. Although, medical equipment’s seem complex, they are essential in diagnosing, monitoring, and treating humanity. Medicine is advancing thus, each, and every one, must learn to operate various types of medical paraphernalia’s. Today, the most frequently devices in the medical manufacturing is heart apparatus. The device, if needed, will not only be advantageous to its use but also lifesaving.

Prof. Dr Jeff Akvama PhD;DSC
































January 4, 2017 § Leave a comment


  • Simply known as, ECA
  • Identifies, Provides and Displays the meaning of your heart sounds
  • IPD
  • The Device determines the meaning of the sounds of the beating heart. It is simple and easy, in monitoring the feel of your heart with prompt answerability.
  • Echocardia is a portable medical device designed to listen to the sounds of heart murmurs and murmurs that are of superfluous or unfamiliar sounds during heartbeats. The device records and displays them.
  • The heartbeat can be weak or vulgar and whizzing. The normal heartbeats make a “lub-dupp” as the first sound and “lub-dub” as a second sound, depicting the sound of the heart valves closing as blood moves through the heart. A stethoscope is what your Physicians use to listen to sounds of heartbeats and congestion in the lungs.
  • You can now see a display of your heart sounds and murmurs.
  • There are monitors that read heart rates, or create pictures of the heart but Echocardia can, reveal other abnormalities not easily measured by electronic devices.
  • From time immemorial, physicians used, their ears on patient’s chests to listen for abnormalities, however in 1816, Dr Laennec devised a method and in 1819, it was, named stethoscope, known today.
  • Today, blood pressures and blood sugars can be, controlled at home. Our new device can monitor our heart murmurs.
  • Thus, we are providing a, noninvasive device, Echocardia. It offers a wonderful service; it is prompt, efficient and accurate.
  • Usually People with abnormal heart murmurs have signs or symptoms of heart problems and the device can help to ascertain these anomalies. Children may have   murmurs. They are mostly congenital, defects,   present at birth. In adults, abnormal heart murmurs may be due to heart valve disease, and other conditions as well as infections, diseases, and aging.

Not all heart murmurs are pathological some can live their lives normally with their murmurs. The abnormal heart murmurs are often Age-related changes, rheumatic fever and infections.

Acquired heart valve disease is often the cause of abnormal heart murmurs in adults as well as heart valve diseases that develop as the result of another condition.

Scar tissue from a heart attack, rheumatism or injury to the heart, high blood pressure, heart failure, distortion of the heart valves due to other conditions, calcium deposits that thickens and stiffens the valves, infections e.g. streptococcus and anemia causing the blood to flow faster.

The Device

This is a small instrument measuring 6 inches by 3.5 inches, width ½ inch, the size of a mobile phone.

It has a strong microphone that picks up the heart sounds clearly and effectively, and transmits them into the device.

The microphone is, placed at

Right 2: Interspace near the sternum= Aortic.

Left 2: Interspace near the sternum= Pulmonic:

Left 3: Interspace= ERB`s point:

Left 5: Interspace= Tricuspid

Then, at the Apex= Mitral.

There will be a brochure illustrating these points

The device has ability to analyze the sounds, Wave Audio Editor, recording and editing the heart sounds.

Existing heart rhythms, normal and anomalies are, pre-recorded into the device with diagnosis of the type of heart condition.

The device identifies the rhythm. It couples itself to the sound and displays the diagnosis of the abnormal sound on the device, marked DISPLAY. The device offers automatically, advice to the individual person.

For example, contact a doctor; check again, it seems all right, it is unsure look for a doctor.

People with pathological murmurs may depict symptoms of the heart condition in the following manner.

The infants fail to grow. Their eating habits are poor. There is shortness of breath with corporeal exertion, extreme sweltering, chest pains, black outs and light-headedness, skin colour changes especially at the face, nose, lips and fingertips, fatigue, constant coughs, puffiness, veins and liver enlargements, weight increase.

The device analysis the weakness and the volume of the sounds. It depicts whether the sound occurs in the cycle of the heartbeat, where the sound is, heard, the pitch of the sound, low, medium or high, and how breathing and corporal activity or change in body position affects the sounds.


The backbone is a medical device focused on conveying to market an innovative heart-diagnosing product, Echocardia, into the system for people with heart problems.

As A physician at the Cardio logical Dept. D, Rigs Hospitalet, University Hospital of Copenhagen, Denmark, I developed interest in the present device. This was in 1963. I was on a scientific research on Achalasia Oesophagi, works published in Acta Chirurgica Scandinavia in 1969 and 70.

Listening to the music and the rhythm of the beats of a transistor radio, I observed that the ampere meter swings and dances with the beats of the music. There were certain characteristics. The dancing and swinging performances of the ampere meter were, noted.

A disc recorder with diagnosed heart murmurs displayed the same characteristic swings on the ampere meter.

There were heart patients in all categories at the Hospital Department; thus, attaching a microphone to the auscultation heart points of the patients, rhythms and dancing qualities on the ampere meter were, noted similar to the swings on the disc.

Each heart, murmur had a different swing. The swinging nature of the ampere meter device on patients and the pre-recorded heart sounds were similar.

Thus, to simplify the device, pre-recoded sounds of heart murmurs of patients are, embedded in a device. The pre-recoded murmurs identifies with the newly acquired murmurs from its users and displays the results of diagnosis inserted in it. Application of ampere was superfluous however; the swinging of the ampere meter can also offer diagnosis if pre-existing diagnosis of the swings of murmurs are, embedded and added to the device.

In 2012, 17.5 million people died of cardiovascular diseases. Of these, 7.4 million people died of ischaemic heart Diseases and 6.7 million from stroke according to WHO.

Benefits =   IPD –   the meaning of heart beating sounds

  • Identifies
  • Provides   –
  • Displays


Thus, we bring to our customers a type of service and product quality. We have been designing equipment’s for over 25 years, and our experience and product expertise is the best. As, a result of our extensive occupancy in this business, we’ve developed alliances with companies that have clearly and consistently demonstrated superior product quality so you, our customer, can be poised towards your procurement of dependable and presentation oriented produce. Let us help you so that you can better help yourself and your families.


Is, designed to produce accurate records with determined meaning and reliability.   Echocardia, monitoring is new but will soon gain popularity for most people.

Patients who show signs of anxiety.

Patients with diabetes mellitus may suffer from ketoacidosis, associated with heart problems. Patients with acute heart problems and myocardial infarction may also benefit. In patients with abnormal heart murmurs Echocardia can help to ascertain early treatment and can prevent unnecessary deaths.

Echocardia offers a method in affording early diagnosis preventing unnecessary costs and deaths

The device is, designed for people suspected of heart problems in mind. It can be, applied without bodily exertion.

For the past two decades, it is becoming important that people have other apparatuses for managing their own health individualistically. The idea is a valuable supplement in people`s super vision. These procedures are indispensable in our world today. Although, medical equipment’s seem complex, they are essential in diagnosing, monitoring, and treating humanity. Medicine is advancing thus, each, and every one, must learn to operate various types of medical paraphernalia’s. Today, the most frequently devices in the medical manufacturing is heart apparatus. The device, if needed, will not only be advantageous to its use but also lifesaving.































May 30, 2016 § Leave a comment



Behind every great business, there is a success. The greatest and most attractive thing cannot, be seen or, touched. They are, felt with the heart. We all know that beauty captures attention. However, personality captures your heart. Today, most people demonstrate their beauty; others want people to see their characters and personae. We would rather be, liked for our personae rather than loved for our beauty. Personae survives, beauty falters.

We would much rather have people think we have good personality, and surprise them with the beauty of it, than have people think we are beautiful and disappoint them with our character. Beauty was not ours to provide, but the Creator. Character is not the work of the Creator but ourselves.

Thus, avoiding together these facelift creams is a beginning. Keeping together is progress, and working together to abandon them is, success. This is because, they do not work and it is so hard to trust them, they cannot keep their promises. There is suspicion, and proof, to disprove the potency of their products. It is not your fault; it is, theirs for letting you believe in every word they advertise. We work so hard for so little and it takes brains to obtain some hard-earned money, but it takes scrupulousness to steal the money from us.

So be strong and wise, we should not believe in their promises, they mean everything at first, but they break them and that means, mistrust and wariness for us. There are no such products.

So hear me gentle customers, knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens




September 19, 2015 § Leave a comment

The Girl



Affection and Desire

Jeff Akvama

Aim of the Book.
This book is a true story and studies the desires of a teenager in love with her sister’s husband, and the tragic outcome. The book explores the teenager’s desires and why after the demise of her lover, her, five marriages never held. The book explores the hitches and the miseries of the whole, development and reveals hidden characteristics of men and women. Was, she cursed? That is to find out.

The Girl



Affection and Desire

Jeff Akvama

“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me hostile or pessimistic about love. But rather makes me grasp that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong individual how lovely it will be when the correct one comes along.”

This is a real story, the events are real, and the characters described have been, camouflaged to protect the innocent. The opinion expressed here are solely the opinions of the author.

The Girl

Under T
Twelve Eyes
Romantic Story
Affection and desire
All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2016 Jeff Akvama

This book may not to be, reproduced transmitted, or stored in whole or part by any means, including
Graphic, electronic, or mechanical without the express written consent of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews


Jeff Akvama
Printed in Norway 2016


This book is, dedicated with love to the memories of my parents. Felicia Akuamoa, Ebenezer Akuamoa Reynolds and my siblings, Osei Akuamoa, Bernhard Akuamoa, Ruby Akuamoa, Annie Akuamoa, and Martin Akuamoa. They are out of sight but not out of heart and mind.
It is also for my wife Jennifer, for her inspiring influence, who took off where my parents left off. My warmest and sincerest gratitude and love to her.

My gratitude to my wife Jennifer for her constant and never failing assistance


This is a true story
Bea wedded five men in separate occasions, and on top of it had a lover, Kester she could, not ever leave. They were, passionately and affectional equivocal. Her best friend Amber, who was, unmarried and single advised her to take grip of her own life. She wondered about the motivations for her, marrying five, miscellaneous husbands.
Bea, who was the reason of her sister Felicia`s demise and who was married to Kester, her concealed lover and continued after her demise.
She took upkeep of her sister`s Felicia youngsters until they were able to cater for themselves. Her own children were, a bit neglected.
Kester married a new woman but stayed faithful to Bea. She was, heavy with Kester`s child but it was terminated.
Bea had four siblings, all of them had kicked the bucket, and she was the only one alive. They inherit a sugar cane farm but Bea became the sole heir to the farmstead.
From her five marriages, Robert, John, Samuel, Wilson and Yaw she had six offspring, four Mademoiselles and two sons. Alex is the first-born. For the reasons of her debacle in her marriages, she did not sanction her daughters’ weddings.
Bea`s fourth time marriage was, the most bothersome of all her marriages. They were together at, long last, and their conjugal life began in full splendour.
Bea provided her share out from infatuation and Wilson delivered his out of love. All the same, Wilson thought Bea was wildly in love with him. However, love could alter bit by bit and fascination could alter expeditiously. It was for fate to decide, a matter of time.
She became heavy with child, and gave birth to, a baby girl. Their lives were organized and scheduled to each other`s temperaments. Everything was well and glorious until one day.
The marriage that began with love and affection, with intense physical attraction was turning sour, in the middle of a raining season. Why in the raining season is nobody`s guess. Perhaps the wet weather carried with it gloomy mawkishness.
Their passion for each other cooled down considerably. Because they were both stubbornly and willfully argumentative. They were not able to throw each other kisses, or even say goodnight or good morning to each other, because that was their custom of affection earlier.
They slept with their backbones curved to each other and Wilson began to sleep in the guest room. They hardly conversed and they were amazingly vexed with each other.
They were frequently at loggerheads, expressing low opinions of each other and that took it`s toe on Wilson`s work. He turned into automaton and became so speculative that his weight began to abandon him. He had a rapid weight loss to such an extent that his co-workers thought he had an incurable disease, some kind of malignancy and they pleaded he should pay a visit to a physician.
Wilson was the sole person who knew about his own diagnosis and cure; naturally, he declined to pay a visit to be, examined by a physician, instead he requested for a sick leave.
His parents had not seen him for months and that gave them a warning signal that something was wide of the mark. He usually visited them fortnightly. He had, not been, with them for three months and they were apprehensive.
Wilson, the only son, declined to visit his family so, after several invitations and subpoenas without response, the family inquired his whereabouts.
They visited his workplace; the coworkers explained his physical attitudes and added that he was gravely sick and that he was on sick leave of absence. They suggested to the family, the need of family and hospital care.
The family received the news badly and advanced to their domicile, only to find a note, “We are in the moves, will come late-night”. This necessitated a search for Wilson in all the county`s hospitals, morgues and police stations. All these places, gave negative results. He was no, where to be found, neither was his spouse, Bea. At least they were, comforted by the fact that there was a message, signifying where they were. Each time they changed the message denoting that they were either at the movie theater, in the woodlands or away with acquaintances and comrades.
After repeated visits without response, they left the couple to their own providences.
The funniest thing was they were both busy contributing in their downfall. They were vexed with each other fighting and belittling each other. Therefore, they both went their separate ways during evening hours and weekends. They were never at home together. They refused to meet face to face.
Both were very stubborn, strong-minded and independent, which was, part of, their problem. Each believed the other was wrong thus; they could not reconcile to put things right. They were unable to merge.
Wilson knew about Bea`s previous marriages and maintained that since he had never married he was inexperienced in antagonism and fighting’s and maintained that his opinions were always right contrary to Bea`s views because, she had married before and definitely they were disagreements and fighting’s.
Bea found that statement stupid and naïve and that presented more disagreements because she maintained that Wilson was a new- comer in marriages hence he had no experience in marital affairs. Thus, the couple was unable to make allowances for normal human weaknesses, fragilities and frailties.
Wilson had “neologism” he invented phrases and Bea had “archaism” she used archaic expressions.
Each really believed the other was wrong in all aspects, and therefore at fault. It could, have helped, if one had given way, but which one? They were equally headstrong and spot on so, nothing could lessen the tension between them.
Bea, who had experienced the circumstances three times, had not obviously learnt from them and maintained that “this” Wilson was categorically and without question, different from the others, and therefore could not understand him. On the other hand, Wilson, who had lectured Bea on many subjects and on many topics on the bench, in the restaurant and at his parent`s home when they first met, meant he knew better and that Bea had not learnt from her blunders and slip-ups from her previous marriages.
Bea was subjectively very strong by emotions as well as commanding. She was ready to abandon him because she felt that he would always be fuzzy and eccentric. He had no knowledge about how marriage couple thrived, because he was, inexperienced.
Bea always had something against Wilson ever since she told him about her three marriages. Having Kester at the back of her mind, made her stronger and secured. She was in fact losing interest in Wilson. He on the other hand, had the same feeling about Bea except that he did not have, Kester at the back of his head but could, travel to Bangkok to his favourite seafood and, with it, were abundance of Taiwanese girls, waiting at every corner. He felt secured and displayed arrogance and self-confidence.
Wilson had acquired a bashing lump in his relationship with Bea in that he had become a violent arguer and so was Bea. They had, become, unreasonably, ridiculous and were, unable, to converse in a, coherent regular way and solve issues.
Bea thought, if she could marry four, why not five, it made no difference to her and Wilson thought, it was his first marriage, so why not a second chance.
They were not even able to make it in the bedroom. They were no more physically attracted to each other. Bea was delighted when Wilson slept in the guestroom, She did not want him near her but was unable to voice it out to him, as that would provoke more violence, and it would deter her from dreaming.. She would rather evade it by keeping her beak shot. She was not frightened and neither did she respect him but it would put off her visions on Kester.
All the theories they had discussed in their first meeting at the bench, at the restaurant, at home with his parents, and Bea`s reflections and assumptions, were just philosophies, not actual and not genuine.
The strong physical attraction between them had evaporated and had become abysmal. They were each, accompanied by, annoyance, irritation and displeasure in bed, in the kitchen, everywhere and had become impossible to escape the wrath of each other.
Bea had been holding myriads of grudges against Wilson, maintaining that he had teamed up with his parents and sisters against her, and pumping him with stupid ideologies.
Bea had refused to budge and had remained cold and unbending. In the end, Wilson was the one to give in, accepting that if he defied her, she would leave him. He allowed Bea`s wishes, convincing himself that his marriage was more important to him than the complex higgledy piggery, and he would rather gain weight than lose it, and snooze in his own bed rather than the guest room.
Bea had been able to put on a cheerful physical exterior, one that could hide her feelings of distresses and frustrations of her pigheadedness.
When Bea contacted her lifelong lover, Kester, her eyes was, filled with tears and sorrow. She was sad and downcast and because of fellow feelings and compassion, Kester advised her to leave Wilson.
Wilson admitted he was wrong.
Bea listened to Kester`s counsel and guidance and vanished out of the sight of her husband.
Wilson, thinking, that Bea would, eventually come, around waited for three years without, any sign or sight of her, finally he accepted his destiny.
Bea was, acclimatized with such happenings. She never surrounded, and did not even wink an eyelid. She stayed away from Wilson and never went back. She told Amber just how wrong she was, in marrying Wilson after having known him for only three months.
In the course of their marriage, they had a girl, which they named, May Fair. Bea never actually cared so much about her.
Wilson took the child. He eventually married a foreigner and in togetherness, raised the child in a harmonious home.
Today, the little girl had become a mother of three children, but her marriage went asunder, just like her mom and her other half-sisters. May fair remained unmarried up to this day. She lives quietly in New York in a small house with her children. She visits her mother Bea from time to time.
The assumptions and reflections Bea made, the theories she propounded as she sat depressed one day, were all in her head and not in her doing. Her will was strong but her feelings, reasoning and spirits were feeble. She never really loved any, of the four menfolk she married. They bored her. The only man in her life capable of her status of love was Kester, but she could not marry him. All the rest of the menfolk she married were to camouflage her obsessive desire for a man she could not obtain. She was, cursed by her sister Felicia.
When Kester died he lived and empty space in the life of Bea.
However, her deep-seated thoughts were what if, marrying, more than once, were, in reality up to scratch? What, if people of any gender could enter into lawfully approved relationships with individuals they loved, and if their relationship no longer held, they terminated them?
She did not regret for any of her five matrimonies and her lover, not for a sec because, she would not be, deprived of the experiences they pooled and the children that were born.
After all, what made a life livable? Taking risks, creating blunders by loving others, and perhaps saying, “I do” to the wrong type.
It was needless for Society to view marriage as an exit to life’s highway. It is rather an irreversible dead end. Perhaps, it could lead to a thoroughfare we all want to endure always; that would be a great sanctification. On the other hand, people should be at liberty to head in new directions without a feeling of failure if they do not succeed.
She married for the fifth time, but the husband ultimate died of old age.

Chapter 1

The Beginning of The
Faultless Life of Bea

Today, Bea is 94 years old. She lives in her own house on a hill in a calm environment. The book you are reading is her story. This is the story. “Amber, my good and faithful friend will help me tell the story.
My grandparents’ migrated from the eastern region of the district and moved westward to areas of virgin soil. They died when I was just ten years old. Nevertheless, my memories of my grandfather still linger. He was a good and a kind man. That of my grandmother had, faded, but according to my distant Uncle George, she was a beautiful grandmother, who died of heartache.
My parents` married when they were, only eighteen years old but remained faithful to each other. They were passive contributors of developing the sugar-cane farm.
Uncle George was an indelibly gregarious man, hardworking and generous.
My grandparents’ possessed, 1000 Acres of land, they were wealthy farmers. They helped the community to grow to what it has become today because; they offered labour and security to the settlement. After they died, Uncle George took care of the farm. It was, he who sent my sisters and I to school. According to him, my grandfather became blind before he died but did not elaborate on the cause of his blindness.
Uncle George was, later recruited as a soldier in the army during the Second World War. After he retired from the army, he devoted his energy and time to develop the farm to new heights and to what it has become today. He too lost his eyesight before he died. I do not know whether the loss of eyesight’s, was something the family had inherited.
However, after the deaths of my grandparents, Uncle George and my parents` inherited the farm although they played no part in developing the industry.
Felicia, the oldest of the four siblings and her husband
Felicia said, “I do” to Kester, and, admitted him into her realm. They were equally charmers and fascinators. Felicia was aware that Kester was a polite young man, well mannered, modest, pleasant, sympathetic and charming. Felicia respected, his judgements, point of views, and whatever, he connected.
Kester was self-confident and did not border about what folks said about him. Felicia`s parents came around, they really perceived how honest, genuine and sincere he was. Kester was agreeable and courteous, towards his stepparents. He was straightforward but spoke his opinion only when it was necessary and when his opinion would lead to something positive.
Whenever the siblings were around, he impressed them in a manner that escalated their likeness and friendliness to him. His behaviour and activities promoted appreciation, understanding, empathy and affection in Felicia. He was decent. He was always shaking hands, and pated people gently on their shoulders or upper arm. He was simply charismatic and sensual.
He was a businessperson, educated, civil and passionate.

Bea was a beautiful looking young girl. She was strong-willed, authoritarian in nature and hardworking. She was not discreet. Her love to menfolk was unbendable and firm.Bea had fallen in love with Felicia`s husband Kester, in secrecy. Her adoration for Kester was very strong. She was a growing up girl with lust for affection and hang for prettifications, colourful clothes and improvements. These were only possible if she attached herself to the affluent Kester. In fact, she was a charming girl with beautiful eyes, which, come from the white of her eye, lively and clear, lucid and humorous, and, her smiles were warm and composed, giving no signs of turbulent thoughts; she was, aware of her characteristics, which made her indisputable and desired.
Yesterday was her date of birth.
It was on the 8 July 1941, she was 18 years old.
Beatrice stood behind the curtain of her bedroom, gazing out at the back garden. She watched the performance of light and shadow on the lawn, as the sunlight felt, on the garden. There was a gentle breeze and the leaves on the flowers whirled under them and sparkled with colourful brilliance as they caught the sun. It was joyful and pleasant, a beautiful day to awake to.
The problem was that she had no friends to celebrate her birthday. She was, entirely, alone, her sisters and girlfriend Amber had traveled and she was not in good terms with her parents. There was nobody to celebrate this important day with her.
Slanting her head against the window frame, she exhaled noisily, thinking of the empty hours approaching.
All of a sudden, her throat squeezed and she felt the tears collecting behind her eyes as grief mixed with unpleasant disappointments dribbled through her. Nevertheless, after some few minutes, she winked, her eyelids, and cleared her gorge.
Resolutely, she brushed aside her melancholy and all the negative emotions. She took hold of herself, and promised that she would not be melancholic again.
Suddenly, she saw someone on her lawn. It was Kester. Her sister‘s husband.
She turned herself away from the window, and thought of what to do. She knew Kester very well but was not in the mood to receive menfolk. She wanted to hide or perhaps neglect him. However, she thought that it would be unfair and uncouth.
On the other hand, why should she hide herself or make as if she had not seen him. Not today. It was her birthday. She had always had lust in her mind to date Kester. She was Kester`s secret admirer, but did not know how to go about it.
Kester was in his thirties, she was only eighteen and moreover, he was her sister‘s husband. It would be unmoral to, even think of anything of that sort.
“To “heck” with it, the good Lord should forgive my intentions,” she said.
Bea was a girl who did not hang out alone with menfolk. She kept her hands to herself, and made sure menfolk respected her. She did not allow them to pressure her into doing something that made her scratchy. She had never done anything irrational to provoke them either. Nevertheless, on this day, she was, mixed up and was in the mood to break her rules.
She whispered,” Kester, hallo, Kester”
Kester was on the lawn to see Beatrice.
Bea, asked, “Kester, what are you doing on the lawn?”
She knew, deep inside her that she admired him very much and had been, ever since she was twelve years old. She was equally aware that Kester came to look for her.
It suddenly struck her that she had nothing descent on her, and that would have been naughty had Kester seen her. However, she wished Kester had seen her in the status quo because that would have given him something to think about although, she did not know how he felt about her. She was a little confused and ambivalent about the situation knowing that he was married to her own sister Felicia.
Kester walked decisively on the lawn, figuring out in which room he could find Bea, and thinking if Bea was in the mood to see him. He had never visited her before. It was his first time and was cautious. He thought of what Beatrice would think of him.
Kester speculated, “Maybe she will think I am bringing a message from her sister Felicia, whatever it is, she will not think bad of me, she will find my visit as a surprise and something unusual. On the other hand, I can tell her that I visited a friend and on route, I am saying good morning to her”
Beatrice was a beautiful girl of upbringing and sophistication. She was a girl with intellect and flair. She was humble and decisive to those she fancied, a kind of a woman Kester would admire and respect.
Beatrice has, made herself descent. She had put on a sexy outfit. She was in ecstasy waiting for Kester to knock at the door. She had perfumed herself here and there.
Kester knocked at the door, Beatrice was ready for him. He entered, embraced and kissed her gently on her cheeks. Bea was surprised but liked his approach.
There was not much chatting but action.
Kester caressed her with his right hand on her backbone and the left hand on her left shoulder, pressed, and circled his fingers smoothly outwards.
Bea was extremely flabbergasted and was unaware of what all that was about. Kester was not shy; it was as if he had built up some kind of libido for a long time.
Bea did not speculate on what may be or not but enjoyed every stroke Kester made on her body.
The room was, in soothing temperature although, there was a scorching heat outside. Bea knew she had, all the time in the world and it was her birthday. That day was hers and hers alone. Bea bursting with warm and loving feelings for Kester became as soft as silk and as weak as water. She had warm spread throughout her body, she felt more happy and relaxed and more receptive to inducements. Her pupils widened, her sweat increased. Her nipples erected, and her breast enlarged. Her breathing accelerated and became deeper, her skin flushed around the neck and her chest, her neck arteries were distended. Her heart beat triplicated; her tone of voice changed, her body language was, abruptly altered.
Her gaze fell on a chair and, holding Kester`s hands directed him to sit on one of her comfortable chairs.
Everything was new to her. As they sat on the chair, she folded her arms and respectfully starred at Kester. She was restless and clinched Kester`s hands, questioning him with low voice and in surprised tones, what all that was about.
Kester was for a moment taken aback, and became little edgy.
Bea recognized his disposition and apologized and said “It is such an unwise question, sorry, you must understand I have not experienced this before”.
There was no question in Kester`s mind that Bea was telling the truth and asked Bea not to be glum and feel sorry. Kester apologized.
Bea said to Kester, “I am really sorry, how can I be so self-centered and naïve and not understanding this, it is obvious”.
She reprimanded herself repeatedly. Kester quickly remarked that it was his fault; perhaps it was too early in their relationship.
Bea`s face revitalized as she adjusted herself to the hint of intimacy.
She instinctively understood the happy moments they had together, and said, “This gregarious Kester has paid attention to my plea”.
They laughed and rejoiced together because Bea understood that Kester had singled her out as the girl he wanted as paramour. It was, the loveliest birthday she had ever had.
From that moment on, they became, joined at the hip.
The two had a long chat together. Kester explained much about affection to Bea.
Bea said, “I do not know what I will do without you”
Kester left Bea but promised he would see her again, soon. He also promised to take Bea on a camping holiday one day.
Bea asked, “why me?”
Bea, slapping her own face several times sensed that she had made herself ridiculous in the presence of Kester and felt embarrassed. She should have asked Kester about why she felt sensually aroused, a sensation she had never experienced before. Nevertheless, there were so many surprised moments happening and there was no time to ask questions.
With a quickening enthusiasm and admiration, Bea remarked that Kester was extremely gentle and very experienced. She could feel that there were, many things, Kester could, teach her, but time was against him.
In Bea`s eyes, Kester was so precious, so she did not want him to slip through her fingers. She had taken him for granted before; with her condescending, pompous opinion of him that he only wanted to have sex with her, but now, she could see that Kester really loved her. She was, petrified, and mummified by Kester, but now she admired him unconditionally.
Bea, thinking loudly and after Kester had gone said, “You are the only genuine person I have in this world”.
It was late and Bea had to give herself in.
That night Bea could not sleep. With a sign of disillusionment, she stared at the door and admitted that sleep was going to evade her. Her mind was racing and could not relax in bed. Therefore, she woke up and ate some biscuits with the hope that it would relax her but that was unable to calm her.
She felt as if her brain was, la-di-da, hooked to love because something in her was set in motion. She was lovesick and wanted to take a cab to visit Kester, which she knew was impossible. He was married to her sister.
She walked a little on the lawn but that worsened her condition because it reminded her of him walking on the lawn.
She felt as if she had butterflies in her stomach. The biscuits she ate, did not help, it even worsened her condition. She was unable to think very clearly and could only think of him. It was like an obsession.
She went back to bed and tried to sleep but those thoughts could not leave her, She could only think about him and in every detail about what he said, how he said it, why he held her on her shoulder, what he meant by it, what they chatted about; everything felt a little black and white.
She felt she had panic anxiety and was even scared. When she wanted to think about something positive in him, negative ideas rather, emerged. She had both positive and negative ideas about him. Both ideas lay side by side. Thinking positively about him, could hurt and could be warming. Thinking negatively about him helped for some few seconds. Bea was simply ambivalent. It was a phenomenon she had never experienced before and that was very irritating and nerve ragging.
As Bea struggled in the bed, she heard a sound of a vehicle. The car door slammed at full volume. She looked at the window and saw that it was Kester`s vehicle. She thought at first it was Kester and started rejoicing but it was short lived.
It was his chauffeur. Kester had sent his driver to present her birthday present. Half or do she was in joyous desire.
The chauffeur knocked at the door, entered, and said hello to Bea and greeted her from Kester. He presented the present and left. Bea, felt very tranquil, relaxed and without even opening the birthday present, she went to bed and slept profoundly.
The subsequent sunrise
Beatrice woke up, rejuvenated and was as fresh as daisy. She opened her windows to let in fresh air; she was humming a beautiful song obviously composed by herself. Suddenly two young girls stood on the lawn, their eyes were furious as they glowered on each other. They were arguing about something using heated lyrics and vulgar language, which still echoed through the whole neighbourhood.
They were very loud, and Beatrice knew that to remonstrate and protest against them was useless because with such anger and aggression, they would even harm her. No amount of guidance would make them stop. They continued.
The way they were dressed was very revealing, short skirts, red in colour with green blouses, a bit torn and dirty. They had blue slippers instead of shoes, which did not march with anything. They were fighting about a loss of a goose, which they think had flown across the lawn.
Bea shut her windows and went back to her room. It was very unusual because that had never happened before. She felt she was up-living things she had never experienced before in her life, an omen. Perhaps!
The two girls searched at the corners of the lawn, and between the flowers and at the back yard. They left quietly without finding their goose.
What a birthday and sudden manifestations in life.
She never believed the two girls that they were searching for a lost goose; she thought something profane was happening. She asked herself several times, “Why do they appear exactly a day after my birthday and why a goose?”
That gave her something to think about and in the process; forgot to contemplate on Kester. Her lovesickness simply minimized and disappeared into the thin air at least for a moment. The intrusion diverted her thoughts to the many great inventors, and writers and scientists who spent years discovering, writers who spent hours inn bed formulating and discoverers who spent weeks after weeks finding out assignments. Bea was an intelligent girl and could add two and two together. She compared these people`s feelings to hers. All these, people and many others spent, less hours in napping, they hardly slept. Thus, they had, inspirational sickness, hers was lovesickness.
All she needed to cure her lovesickness was to put her mind away and be creative. She immediately programmed her thoughts to paint. That put her mind away from Kester, at least for time being.
The thought of the two girls, still ranged in her head because it was on her birthday. She interpreted that as something sinister. She was only eighteen and had never lived through such a busy scenario before.
She said; “Well, we learn to live”
Bea went to her sitting room. She was, still wondering about the girls. The idea bordered her.
Suddenly, she heard loud voices from afar and directed towards her home because they were very clear and loud. There was a, group of people exited and bellowing.
Although, Bea was a little tense she was, not weighed down by anxiety. She began feverishly to invent analogies and distinctions between reality and simulations because she could not understand why all these were happening a day after her birthday.
The group was nothing more than her own family who had gathered to make merry her birthday. They had come from their holidays.
The most loquacious of them all was her mother who was bellowing and pointing fingers at Bea`s house. Bea never fancied her mother.
The mother`s yelling was, because, their daughter did not invite them to her birthday party. Bea was, taken aback because; she thought she had travelled with her daughters.
The problematic with the whole family was that, Bea`s parents wanted her to live with them but Bea wanted to make it on her own. She had ambitions, and hopes, to lead an independent and self-directed life. She wanted to settle down with a job, a house partner and to become independent from her parents.
Her parents were up in the years and required some helping hands from Bea, who was the youngest. Felicia her older sister, was, married and was living with Kester. Elizabeth, the third sister was busy trying to make ends meet on her own and Eileen, her second oldest sister was married to the church.
The parents had a huge sugar plantation and needed help from their children to manage it. Managing the industry had always created some king of discussions amongst the family. Felicia and Elizabeth were preoccupied with their families leaving the youngest Bea who was trying to make it on her own.
The family sat together. Bea`s clear purpose of inviting them into the house was her hectic confusion about the two girls. She was determined to refuse her parents` entry, but to avoid scratchy situations she let them enter.
At first, she thought it was about Kester, but that was never the case. She felt relaxed.
Their mother raised an issue about the farm pointing out that numerous changes had to be, weighed and contending issues faced. In Bea`s mind, she thought it would have been better never to have begun the sugar cane farm and therefore never to have to think about anything. She did not want anything to do with the farm. Moreover, her parents were never active in developing the farm to what it had become.
However, Bea`s heart was beating rather quickly, her breath uneven, her stomach rumbling and, she blinked ambiguously until she relaxed but after some few minutes, she still entertained some fears that perhaps somebody saw Kester and her together. Her heart kept on giving great jumps.
Her mother talked and beat around the bush, so, Bea was restless; she stood up, and then sat down and listened to the wise words of encouragements from her mother. However, she felt uneasy with her eyes fixed in defensive, unalienable gaze. She felt each second that the mother was going to talk about Kester and her.
Bea was suddenly relaxed, putting all hypothetical ideas out of her head. Her ambivalence faded away, saying in her head that life would even be harder if it were not, for the unbelievable vanity of Kester.
At the gathering, the parents were wrestling with themselves about how to divide the sugar cane farmstead amongst the four sisters, but Felicia murmured, “Great souls have wills, others but feeble wishes”. The parents questioned Felicia to explain her philosophical sentence but she never responded, she thought it was obvious. The parents rested their dreams of sharing the farm for now.
The family sang some birthday songs for Bea and danced merrily. It was a happy day with many warm smiles after all. The atmosphere of that day delighted them and made them more conscious that they had each other and required each other.
After a while, Bea`s mother smiled and glanced away and said with a sly little smile,
“Bea is a good girl because she does not mingle inappropriately with menfolk and keeps her hands to herself. She is a superior young woman in every respect and menfolk respect her”.
There was a small silence. Suddenly, Bea said incongruously”, Mom, why are you saying all these?”
She was not even flattered; she thought her Mom suspected something and had been mocking her ever since she arrived.
Bea touched her forehead, stretched her dress and edged away from the gathering…
When she was out on the veranda, the mother starred at her, she looked up, gazed down and she shook her head a little disapprovingly.
Bea instantaneously observed her mother`s movements, She turned on her side, relaxed herself on one elbow and stared at her mother un-solicitously. She could not help despising her mother`s mocking display. She thought she was theatrical, and perhaps hiding something. She was still uncertain if the mother knew about Kester, she was aware of her mother` diplomacy.
Bea, “It is quite impossible to understand”, I commented afterwards “how we can have so different personalities, with diverse personalities and temperaments, coming from identical household?
Having acknowledged my family with the same trepidation and worry than I had feared, I unequivocally decided to circumvent my mother entirely and to countenance her as a foe. I could not sidestep my guided confidentiality of heart from being, overran by grotesque observation of kinsfolks. On the other hand, I forgive and forget this particular conglomeration of impreciseness, and inexactitudes more readily than the unjustified ideas of my mother who only want to tease me by her commentaries and insinuations”
Felicia, Kester’s spouse and Bea`s older sister, gazed at both of them, Bea and her mother with watchful eyes, thinking that the mother was ruining Bea`s birthday by her teasing and pleaded for her mother to stop.
Bea looked very dumbfounded, tapping, her fingers on, her laps whilst, her mother grinned. However, Felicia thought her mother’s witticisms were dictatorially sarcastic; there was no reason to make remarks about Bea in a gathering like that.
Felicia questioned if there was some kind of animosity between the two.
The Father, who merely always observed proceedings and never uttered any words, suddenly said that he had been surveilling a package under the corner of the table and had steered at it ever since he arrived.
There was a minor silence.
Bea angrily reached for the package, took out some clothes from it and placed them on the table in front of the family.
She said, “These are my filthy clothes I have accumulated to be washed, does anybody want to have a go at them?”
There was extreame quietness in the room.
Felicia wanted to say she would help, and then she kept mute. She was busy that week.
The mother, appearing slightly relieved, nodded her head and said, “I would like to help my daughter out but, not if there are clothes from the reverse sex“
There was silence again.

By that time, Bea had left the room; she could not take more sarcasms from her mother. She was now very certain that the mother knew something about her affair with Kester from yesterday.
Bea had concealed Kester`s birthday present unopened and placed it at the back yard. She was certain that nobody knew about it. Nevertheless her mother`s insinuations made her head spin. She was convinced, particularly, that Felicia knew nothing about it and that gave her a firm glimpse of hope to converse with Felicia freely without feeling guilty.
One way or the other Bea did not seem to have any debauched conscience. She remained firm in her love for Kester.
The Father said, “I am sorry to cause such a uproar on my daughter`s birthday. That is not my purpose; I am not even curious but if I do not say something mother will rebuke me when we get home”
The family laughed and the entire affair was, put aside.
Bea said, “You are incorrigible, father but, if there is nothing to talk about, but merely to ruin my day, I will sing you a song”.
Father, “Oh yes do, I have been waiting for it. I hear you are a very good composer and singer, especially when there are old people around”.
Bea replied, “Father, what do you mean by that, when there are old people around? Are you insinuating me or being sarcastic, do you mean that I cannot sing”?
Father, “Oh no, now, I have said something inappropriate again, I better shut my mouth”.
Bea was edgy, analyzing the whole shebang and, feeling offended, she had always thought that the family detested meanness but on this day and on her birthday, she felt they were impolite.
Elizabeth, Bea`s other sister, a stutter, she never said anything on such occasions. She was a little high tempered sister who did not mingle herself in social gatherings because of her handicap. All the same, she stood up and said in a piercing stammering voice and turned as red as her blouse. “Are you having fun?”
Eileen, the sister born after Felicia, taking pity on Elizabeth, said, “No, I do not think they are, they are, only joking and having fun because they are in good mood”.
Elizabeth, bending her head and scratching her cheeks said, “The whole day`s conversation rotates teasingly, on Bea, and I don’t know what all that is about, I do not find that amusing. We should rather chat about the farm because of the danger of concourse”.
“Hmm!” Said, everyone in the room. One could hear the windows vibrating.
“Today is Bea`s birthday”, says Felicia. “We should amuse ourselves and be joyful; it is not often we come together. We should get on with it”
Bea abruptly asked” Does anybody know about two young girls who appeared on the lawn looking for a goose”?
There was stillness in the room.
The mother, looking drowsy, hanging her upper limbs loose, with her head dangling from side to side but with her eyes opened, Said, “Yes, Elizabeth is right. We have built an enormous farmhouse, acres and acres of land, worth millions of money, and you are not even thinking of that, we can lose everything. Yes I sent the two young girls to the lawn, it was only for fun because it is your birthday, and there is no evil intention to it”
Bea sighed in relief, now she knew about the two girls, she had been wondering ever since and she was sure that her mother did not have any idea about Kester and her. The mother was joking all along.
Bea thought it was all in her skull because she was feeling guilty
Bea groaned and, understanding everything, remained calm. She settled back in a chair at the corner of the room, and waited for the family to leave. She was relieved that nobody suspected Kester and her.
There was muteness in the room as the family prepared to leave with the exception of some glasses clinging together and the singing of birds outside. It was late but cool and becoming and the family was pleased that they had a nice day. Nobody was, fogged by the discussions. Bea did not criticize her mother again neither did the mother grumble about the treatment she received. The whole enchilada was calm and composed.
“What a nice way to end a birthday” The father commented.
They glanced towards the lawn, speckled with moonshine and the swaying of the flowers by cool airstreams, reflected on the nice day they had. The family bid Bea cheerio and received a kiss from each one of them.
Bea, “My indifference casted a shadow on my eagerness with which I devoted my love to my mother because I think I will ever understand her.”

Chapter 2

Bea and Her Birthday

For the first time in many years, Bea experienced how amusing and obnoxious a family re-union could become especially when they visit unannounced. Bea did not know how other families behave.
She was worn-out but liberated after they left. She tidied up some few things and sat on her chair for a while.
For the first time in two days, she felt a little of the enormity lifting from her and her, exhausted eyes revitalized.
Bea did not open the birthday present from Kester after the family had gone. Instead, she started to speculate on their visit analyzing them and making conclusions.
She felt that it was excellent to have family visit but there should be someone to organize them. It was obvious to her that with a family headship they could establish practices and procedures that would alleviate sarcastic personal insults and witticisms, not understood by someone.
She sensed that as a freshest in the family she was, ridiculed instead of coaching her about self-leadership. She felt distanced by her Mom and Dad to fight her own battles and, in her own home especially, by an unannounced family.
She felt depressed many times for the reason that her Mom did not want her to grow-up. She thought she was still a kid and did not expect her to have altered as part of life cycle. She was, treated as a teen without any rights to her own thoughts and feelings and, her Mom had control over her thoughts and feelings.
It evoked so many memories not all of them were cheerful ones. She recollected how her Mom asked her to weed the sugar cane farm alone when she was nine years old. It was a job for three people not for a child.
As she mirrored, a rush of bitterness and detestation occupied her gullet and for the moment, she sat on her chair lamenting.
She did not feel guilty of loving Kester because, she did not choose it.
She felt there was already far too much hurly-burly and emotional letdowns in the family as it was and she was not to be blamed for all that because of her affection for a man.
Her affection to Kester happened automatically. Yes, he was and older person and married to her sister but was also more matured and knowledgeable. He knew what he was doing. Love did not have married man written on it and it did not discriminate. There was a reason.
It was not because he was affluent or because she was looking for a father figure but Kester seemed to admire and respect her and treated her right. He was not only experienced in life but also with relationships and was more idealistic and romantic too.
He was more caring, considerate, empathetic, and easy to talk to, making her more matured and considerably quicker. He was not scared and did not play mind games. Kester seemed to be at the same maturity level as she was but less provoking. He could satisfy her needs and had the pledge and the readiness required for a longstanding relationship. He had accomplished something and had economic and emotional stability maturity. He was liable of sharing similar life views and goals, despite their age differences.
She could guess from last night that he was more skilled sexually and had less sex drive, because she left her alone without fulfilling his wishes. He was an excellent listener and cared for her needs rather than his.
As an eighteen years old girl, Bea had matured and had her own mind about life. She genuinely believed herself to be, fully-fledged.
Bea wanted to see Kester because she wanted to unburden herself to him. There were so many events since he left to unfold and was sure it would delight him.
It was getting late and Bea`s eye lids began to be heavy on her. She had to give herself in because she had a hectic day.
She went to bed, closed the windows, covered her head and slept at her back profoundly. There were no speculations and no lovesickness; she had reasoned herself maturely and conscientiously out of it.
The subsequent daybreak.
The morning birds began to sing their melodious melodies, the sun appeared and shone. It glowed under its morning warmth. Visible splendid colours were, displayed on all the blades of the grass and the flowers. The sunshine was, spread out like a big hand with unique mixture of golden, rosy, ginger, and red colours and in-between the digits of the sunlight were radiant with sea blue colours.
“What a day and a morning to wake up to”? Bea said.
A forth night later
Two weeks later Kester arrived as Bea stood admiring nature in the morning. He smiled benevolently, looking extremely pleased with himself and particularly with Bea. She recalled how she had smiled back at Kester a forth night ago, and thinking that Kester looked gorgeous and renowned. Her love for him had amplified and increased in her.
Kester took his camera with him. He removed his camera and took that affection as it trickled out of her eyes.
They sat down comfortably and chattered.
Bea asked Kester about his love for Felicia. He said that he loved her in another way. They had had their skirmishes, discomforts and anguishes but their marriage had survived them all, which was the most important thing. They were comfortable with each other. They had been married for a long time but wittily it did not seem that long for him, and how fast time had tripped by, well “tempus fugit” he said.
Bea quickly remarked, “You have a warmhearted determination, because you are insistent and you are pushed by some kind of a driving force within yourself to love me and that I appreciate”.
Kester went on further and expressed frankly that he did not value coupledom, but believed that falling in love with Bea was exciting but it was very unlikely that she would leave Felicia. He was, not forced into the marriage. Perhaps he looked for excitement and adventure because he felt that something was missing at home. He was, physically, sexually, emotionally, and mentally attracted to Bea.
In Kester`s mind, he very well knew that he was triggered by an element of pettiness for Bea and her constant help to them but it was improper to spell that out to her.
Bea had already predicted that outcome from the beginning. Anyway, Bea was only eighteen and had the whole life ahead of her. She wanted to continue her studies. She had her mother’s, aspiration for hard work, her strength of mind and dynamism, her willfulness to acomplishment. She wanted to be, trained as a teacher where students and teachers were, engaged with thinking routines and other strategies that encouraged thinking in the classroom.
There were no remarks from Kester. He was mute.
Suddenly there was comprehension and trembling on Bea`s face. She was remembering when she was younger and, as the youngest of the sisters had to do all the boring jobs.
Kester said, “Everything we do, good or bad, has its inevitable consequences. It is contrary to throwing a stone into a pool and watching the ripples spread out, further and further, and far-reaching; but I am here with you, I am not far reaching. Whatever good you do, will come back to you, it is inherent in the bones,”
Bea dropped back in the chair and allowed herself to float in her frame of mind. She did not know what her sister Felicia would say if ever she knew about Kester and her.
She hoped Kester would not tell her.
She half-smiled and shook her head. She did not say a word.
Kester suddenly said he would help her with her education and would tell Felicia, about her schooling but not their affection to each other.
She was, surprised because Kester was, willing to help her. He would, also break the news to her sister about the help and would not, unveil their affection.
For the first time, she acknowledged to herself, that she was, praiseworthy enough, to be educated as a teacher. She had speculated a lot on where the economic help was going to come from. Now she was sure. She had long stopped speculating on her education because she could not find solution to her funding.
Bea was happy. There was certain display of light on her well-defined face. This was, reproduced in her chin and in her firm and unwavering aperture of her mouth, which was quite attractive when she smiled.
Her best features unexpectedly shone out, her perfect, smooth skin texture brightened, her lustrous brunette hair fixed with unique sheen, was impeccable and her gorgeous eyes, unspeakable.
Kester noticed spectacular things about her. She had first-class brown whips, highlighted by magnificently curved brows. Their shades triggered him to look at her twice. She was, tanned, profound and vibrant. It was, staggering.
Bea reflecting, “I tried to make my sister Felicia`s and her husband`s lives a little stress-free by doing the things she had no time doing. Seeing him day-to-day with problem, feeling sorry for his glitches gave me a portrait of him. Affection grew without either party really being aware of it. We developed a relationship an “infrastructure” in a biological, natural way. Such relationships obviously lasted a long time, because they were reality based. We shared personal information; we had long talks and particularly, empathy. We did not know we were falling in love. Self-disclosure was something that automatically brought us closer. I had the most to gain and the greatest desire to deceive. He had least to gain, and wanted nothing from me because, I had nothing to give him but he was willing to share everything with me. This was, the perfect, real love, it was no imitation”
“Close your mouth” Kester said`, to Bea and keep it closed until I tell you to open it”
Bea said, “What kind of joke is that? Are you mocking me?”
Kester replied, looking up adoringly “No but you are sullying, it is not a joke. It is running down your cheeks but that does not make you unpleasant, it is an involuntary reaction to what I you are, thinking”
Bea said in a surprised temper, feeling embarrassed “Oh, I am sorry; it is because I was thinking on something very special and beautiful. I am honoured. However, you make me feel ashamed of myself. Was I really soiling?”
Kester said, putting his hand around Bea “I understand you perfectly because you are not expecting me to assist you. You can look at yourself in the rest room”.
Bea, “Not that alone, but I was thinking of everything”
Bea quickly entered the rest room and stood in front of her mirror. She looked at herself and could see nothing; there were no traces of her soiling. She emerged from there, grinning, with her head down and her hands on both jawlines, saying, “You are a clown, Kester, yes you are”.
Her joy knew no limits and was, more, or less packed with ecstasy. She reached for Kester`s hand who sat laughingly on a chair with his left leg overlapping his right leg and flexing his upper body.
Kester said”, It is all right; this is the first time I am making fun of you. I want to see how much you can take”.
Bea quickly remarked with a grim expression, “But what is dangling out there? It looks creepy and it moves”.
Kester looked at the opposite direction, picturing what she was observing.
Bea said, “Why are you looking around when the dangling is on you”?
Kester was ill at ease, thinking of what Bea meant. He straighten out his body in upright position and said,” Nothing is dangling, it is my belt”, and laughed wholeheartedly, saying, “You are a naughty girl, Bea”.
Bea smiled in hilarity, stretching her left hand and putting it on Kester’s right shoulder and said, “Now it is tit for tact”.
Kester, gripped Bea`s hand positioned it on his left shoulder with his right hand and guided it towards his mouth and kissed it several times.
Bea lifted her eyelids and blinked several times and then brought her right hand and caressed Kester`s left cheek pressing it down slightly and comfortably, focusing her eyes on his.
Kester moved his head towards the direction of her neck, beaming and admiring the necklace around her neck.
In a surprise mood, Kester abruptly said, “Oh, so you have opened your birthday present without saying a word to me. That is not very nice of you”.
Bea replied, smilingly rotating her eyeballs around her eye sockets and looking up to the ceiling of the room, “ I want it to be a surprise, but it is not the intention of the receiver of a birthday present to run back to the presenter to parade it. You have already done your job presenting it. I can even sell it if I wish, but don`t worry, I will not dispose it”.
Kester was somewhat flaw and shy, touching his own chin and spinning his first and second fingers around. He said, “You are quite right my dear, that is very uncouth of me, but there is no harm telling me about it”.
He looked very saddened.
Bea, looked at him again and said, “Don`t be childish, and don’t look so troubled and apprehensive. It has been my intention to thank you for the fantastic diamond necklace; it is my second “god” because I warship and glorify it every night. I am so delighted and overwhelmed by it”.
Kester loosened up, squeezed his hands, unable to camouflage the respect he had generated. Bea and in his expression said,” I am very impressed, captivated and spellbound”
Bea suddenly said, “Look over there, near the flower beds; there is a white cat running in-between the flowers. I have never seen one like that before, do you know what it means?”
Kester, looking very edgy replied, “Sighting a white cat is said to convey misfortune, and to avert the bad luck people spit or turn around and mark signs of a cross on their bodies. However, others interpret that, dreaming of a white cat is good luck as well as sighting them at night or on the road, however, different nations have different interpretations about it.”
Bea said, “Well-spoken but I thing, it is a sign of good luck”
Kester elaborated and said, “Really, the figurative meaning of cats is that of security and guard, they are expert caretakers of homes and people. They are also main secret keepers, and are a symbol of obscure knowledge”
Bea sat attentively, gripped her hands a little tighter and asked, “What about black cats?”
Kester answered meditatively, “They are more mysterious, sighting them on your bench is a promising symbol meaning, you will be starting a new business relationship, or becoming more stable”
Bea became extra attentive and bit her fingernails, she asked,” Does it mean we should have seen a black cat instead of the white cat? Anyway, which one of them is best to sight?”
Kester was amused and replied, “Appearances of these cats are, promising because they depict, the family is sheltered against energy that prevented them from introducing new philosophies and are safeguarded against inconsequentialities and difficult set-backs”.
Bea said, “Mm! are all these not irrational beliefs?”
Kester said, “May be”
They chattered for a while and Kester, leaning forward, kissed Bea on her cheeks. They were both hungry and wanted some diner.
Bea smiled; her eyes sparkled with delight and content. She had a good time and learnt a great deal from Kester.
They went out and chewed on the delightful meal in an eatery.
Bea, “Just what makes a person fall in love with a married man, especially when they are married to your beloved sister, I do not know. It is strange but not, uncommon.
An exceptional day.
The sky was perky blue and saturated with sunbeams. The brightest of mild light winds whizzed through the leaves. There were no other reverberations apart from the indistinct buzz of successively dripping water, the infrequent tweeting of the natural world and the buzz and flickering of their extensions as they winged up into the glittering air.
Bea sat with an open mouth, admiring Mother Nature waveringly, and said, “There are wonders in this world”.

Chapter 3

Bea, the Blameless Teen-Ager

Bea was a sweet, loving and a faultless girl. She was genuine, heartfelt and of princely nature. She was sincerely concerned about people. Her Mom did like her but she teased her often. Bea in her pureness could not, understand her mother`s approaches like when they met during her birthday. There was always unease between them.
Bea did not have many contacts, she kept mainly to herself, reading novels and painting landscapes. It was her passion and she was brought up that way, yes, her background and upbringing.
The mother had four girls, Felicia was the oldest and Bea the youngest and the age differences between them were lengthy.
She had never known sexual desire and of late, some of the strange, new approaches she was living through jumbled and terrified her. She was unable to look at even images of half-dressed people in magazines. She always turned her head away simply because she was shy and disliked them until she met Kester.
One morning she heard a sudden prattling outside her bedroom window penetrating her early morning stillness and peace.
She raised her head looked and listened. She could hear low meaningless whisperings, followed, by tramping of feet banging into the neighbouring ingress.
Bea knew that it was Eileen, one of her sisters, going about her morning prayers. She suspected that she had dropped her Bible into their entrance. She knew her sister could be careless at times. She had a church member living in the neighbourhood whom she, from time to time pray together. Eileen was very spiritual. They never chattered together because she was much grown-up and all Eileen typically chattered about was religious subjects, which was not Bea`s cup of tea.
Bea believes that everyone was entitled to his or her own beliefs and religion should not be, imposed on everybody.
Bea`s philosophy, “Every Tom, Dick, and Harry approve that murder, infidelity, robbery, deceitfulness, and greediness are incorrect. Common sense tells us that there is right and wrong, which is, entwined into the fabric of our society. Although, Christian values endorse domestic tranquility, people should be, allowed to make their own minds”
As Bea was constructing her own concepts, there was a loud knock on her door. It was Kester showing his admirable striking face.
Kester hailed, “Good morning Bea, how are we today? I know you are not expecting me.”
Pushing the door with his right elbow with a smile on his whole face. “Is it alright that I came? Or you are busy today?”
Touching his little mustache, he had grown during the past seven days.
Bea, “Its allrigt just come in, I am sitting by myself anyway and doing nothing just creating ideas about life”
Kester entered the room, took a chair and sat on, asking whilst he sat, “But what are your ideas about life? Not about me I suppose”
Bea, No, no, no, “It is not about you but myself, I think I am becoming knowledgeable since I met you, I am even trying to propound theories about life”
Kester, looking a little surprised and tightening his belt” But why is that all of a sudden? Has somebody provoked you?”
Bea, winding her hair between three fingers “No, it is just that my sister Sapoo, the religious one, just dropped by the neighbours”.
Kester, “Did you see her?”
Bea, having a piece of bread between her fingers and chewing something, “No, I did not”
Kester,” Why not?”
Bea, “She did not come to see me. I am not on her agenda, but her presence motivated me with my theory, when her Bible fell on the door at the neighbours”.
Kester, “Aha, I see what you mean; you suddenly got an idea about Christianity.”
Bea, “I found out that people must be allowed to make their own minds if or not they should attend church. Everyone knows about right and wrong.”
Kester, “You are quite right, I share the same views. Well then how was your Week?”
Bea, dragging back the curtain with a great decoration, overflowing the room with dazzling sunshine said, “It was pretty modest and reasonably good but without you nothing is perfect”
One month later, Bea was, enrolled at teachers training college

Bea is, enrolled at teachers
Training college
The buildings are huge and the environment was gorgeous. The site was quiet and calm for students. Privately owned mini-buses, taxis and state owned buses connected people to the Metropolis and other parts of the country. The environment there provided diverse ecosystem for plant life and beautiful settings. Their beauty were indescribably wonderful to the eye: The breathtakingly spectacular interior and exterior designs matched like twins. There were long driveways lined with trees, literally everywhere.
A tall, stone tower was, mounted in the middle and loomed in the distance. Red roses grew around the buildings and the grass was green with patches of flowers. The rooms were spacious. There were playing fields, grounds and other necessary facilities for athletics and other school activities.
Kester enrolled Bea in a teaching training college. In spite of Bea`s periodic encounters with the headmistresses, her new life brought her harmony and peacefulness to the extent that it distracted her mind from her mother. If it were not for the teaching profession, Bea would not have known how she could have lived her life.
She was confused because, she felt she could not go on much longer, doing nothing but reading and painting nevertheless, she often wondered just how her life would have been if Kester had not come around.
Sometimes her heart felt very joyous with full of passion and fierce desire for Kester to what one could feel was impossible.
Bea said, “Occasionally, husbands do not spell out what and how they grieve. Every now and then, they need, compassion, kindness and care, which most women take for granted in their comfortable skins, do not offer them. The woman`s love transforms into comradeship and that is probably the reason why their husbands need refueling and renewed affection from somewhere else.
A woman cannot simply offer what she no longer possess. They take their husbands for granted, and, perform minute house duties. They are nonchalant with their meals and undertake imperfect housekeeping. Society`s mercy is often in favour of women and, the husband only build citadels of unhappiness in them and feel, powerless to disclose.
All that glitters is, not gold”
Time passed
Bea knew how to contain her bitter tormented feelings for not seeing Kester because she felt she knew what Kester was going through. These, were some of the reasons why she was in love with Kester. Furthermore, he was, helping her with education.
The only way to contain them and to show her appreciation to him was to study hard and seriously.
She embarked herself into a more tedious obligation of studying assiduously. Never had she studied so intensively. She was often so tired that sometimes she felt knocked out.
She had not heard from Kester for a long time, she had tried as, she believed, he also was endeavoring to reach her or perhaps he wanted to preserve the integrity of her education he had loved by leaving her alone. She felt her life was a melancholy indeed but she had a mission to accomplish.
In those immature years, Bea often reflected with amazement upon the passionate selfishness of an eighteen –year- old girl in love but now she thinks more matured about him.
Bea promised herself that whether married or not she would support herself by teaching alone and would never become a financial burden to Kester or any other menfolk.
She believed that personal freedom and dignity in marriage were suited with economic dependence; she also labored under the happy impression that teaching was a profession in which self-support was rapidly attainable and would not depend on Kester. He had done enough.
Bea and Kester did not even have opportunity to recapture the lovely enchantments they had had, not even for a moment. However, as weary as she was, she passed the days in heavy readings and studied conscientiously to please him.
Bea felt so bitterly sorry for Kester because she thought he was probably fighting against some outside devils. That made her both sad and furious with a desperate pain of powerless yearning for him.
She would have been thankful if she could hide somewhere in the boarding school and cried but there was nowhere. She was in a boarding school, far away from Kester.
At times, she felt that she could not bring herself to take a wagon and travel to Kester. She did not know what to do and did not care for anything except to visit him.
She felt rather sad at times and concluded, without surprise or distress, that probably Kester was no longer in love with her. Nevertheless, that was a silly supposition, she felt.
On the other hand, the idea kept on swinging in her mind. She could not allow her guarded, secret desires for Kester in her heart to be, invaded. Therefore, she kept everything to herself.
However, sometimes she felt she could have done better without love before it came because it was so hurting. It was pleasant when she had herself to care for instead of another person to think of. Although, it has been, said that soul grows through grief and sorrow, was ultimately right. However, enduring pains for a longer period, made people motionless and indifferent.
Kester`s surprising visit to Bea at the college

Here they are sitting in the lobby of the colledge. She and Kester.
Bea could hardly belief they were finally meeting after all these weeks. The two had not seen each other after she went to the college some four months ago. On this hot and humid day, it was already getting to the end of her college term, and Kester was able to set a day aside to visit Bea. They had not communicated with each other for a long time.
Now blushing with happiness, Bea looked across the sofa on which they sat and broke into a smile said. “It is lovely to see you Kester; I have missed you a lot”
Kester, in his cute face, covered with his new moustache and intensely animated, was, occupied with laughter; it identified his desire at their re-union
“I have missed you too, I still feel very bad of not visiting you before”
Bea broke off, reached down for something she had wrapped together with a newspaper on the flooring to give Kester, something interesting in it.
With a charming face and a little smile, Bea fetched something conical across the table between them to Kester and said,” Anyway this is a gift from me. I never did get around writing to you, because I wanted to concentrate on my readings and to let you have your peace of mind. You have a business to run. However, this is something for you. It is not much but it is from my heart”.
Kester, “Bea you shouldn`t have”.
However, one could see that he was thrilled to receive the present, happy because this was the first time Bea had giving him a gift.
Kester`s face lit up and his brow eyes boogied and swayed as he opened the wrapped conical present with excitement of a kid.
Kester looked up and smiled at Bea. He reached out and took Bea`s hand lying on her laps, squeezed and kissed it affectionately.
Bea looked around her to see if somebody was watching.
She said, “Oh that is alright, I wish we were somewhere reclusive, because I want to kiss you, hug you and caress you, so much. The teachers are very strict here because the punishment to follow is a one week`s incarceration in a dark filter room”
Kester quickly remarked, “Yeah, I am so sorry, you should not have been enlisted in such a strict college, what an ugly, cruel and inhuman punishment for behaviours that are natural”.
Bea, “That is okay, time flies and I will be out from here pretty soon”
Kester, “Well, apart from that how you find the college?”
Bea, “It is alright except that it is boring at times without you but if you were here with me I will not have the opportunity to schoolwork and we will stay here forever.”
Kester, ”Very funny, so you have a humoristic sense, anyway I do not want you to end a career you have so much wanted to accomplish”.
Bea, ”Oh no, my metamorphosis has not been as complete as yours-in fact I doubt if it has occurred at all. I can kiss you right now and I will not care if I am, punished. I am pleased and satisfied with myself because you are here and, I am not afraid of anything. They can put me in confinement but you are here to recue me. I am a practical person and outwardly tough. Becoming a teacher is not all that is in life”
Kester. “I can sincerely realize that you are a brave girl who has affection for me, I would have preferred if you had completed your course. You are still a young woman on the rise and there are, countless things you still have to hit in the books”
Bea, “Okay, Kester, I suppose I ought to thank you a lot. One has to be grateful nowadays for being, allowed to study in a college. It is very expensive and you are bearing the cost of the whole kit and caboodle in here. Your help is one of the many things that I appreciate”
Kester, “Do you ever feel lonely in here? You know, you can be amongst thousands of people and still feel lonely”
Bea, “Yes, I know. As lonely as I was, and panicky, I found courage and self-assurance to maintain calmness and obedience to the rules of the college. I presume I am growing-up. With you, I can grow-up and learn about natural life much more rapidly”.
Kester with his jaws aslant and flexing his head said,” I am much flattered and that is the one thing I admire about you, always flattering me”.
Bea,” I have only one wish in life right now, and that is to finish quickly with my education here because all that you do for me have changed me tremendously and I really want to be with you no matter what. I can only love you and that I have the power and the means to do”.
Kester bit back a smile and glanced on the ceiling,” You are praising me again; the warmth of your love fills me and quenches my thirst for affection. I do not think I have ever been so, pleased as I am now. For the time being, at any rate, your affection enlightens my life and I feel gratified with all the sympathies you have provided me for the rest of my life”
Bea got red in the face and let out a tiny sigh. ”What a wonderful thing to say”
Her feverish longing to be with Kester made her more anxious to finish her education more speedily. She began to count the years. They seemed so long for her.
Kester frowned, wobbled his head, and with a perplexed look, said” The period of this life is like the wind of the desert, even joy and sorrow, beauty and deformity pass away so rapidly. You must not worry, time will pass swiftly”.
Bea as a final point said, “Thanks Kester, you are a great help in my life and I appreciate your doings and wisdom, I really do”.
She began to fan herself with one hand, and fished around in her bag for a paper handkerchief. She stroked her face with it and said, “Hmm, there is no breeze at all, it is warm in here”.
Kester peeped up in the sky, anticipated it would not shower.
Both of them felt quiet for a while.
Kester turned his head and saw some of the girl students walking along a lawn, thinking how keen some of the girls looked, outfitted in their regalia.
Bea, turning her face to watch where Kester was viewing said,”Hey I am envious, are you trying to find a bargain or are you trying to equate them with me?
Kester, smiling ironically, looking somewhat introverted said, “None of that, it was a spontaneous reaction; it is obvious that when people unexpectedly see things moving, they spontaneously gaze at what is going on. Your voice sounds very serious all of a sudden, is there something wrong?”
Bea stared at Kester and cuddled him tightly, overflown with happiness and packed with respite said, “Okay, no hard feelings”.

Kester departed
After Kester had left, she launched herself into her courses with enormous eagerness and astonishing commitment she, had earlier shown and anticipated to graduate with flying colours. She wanted to do well not only because of her own sense of egotism, but for Kester.
Bea`s education completed and her special moments
Bea had completed her studies. She had become an inspired and adroit teacher, enjoying and rejoicing in this role.
Oh how she loved Kester, his kindness, his loving nature, his willingness, a man who made it possible for her.
The consciousness that she obsessed about him in every way was like aphrodisiac, and just by thinking of him brought her to sweltering warmth and incentive.
Bea longed for Kester. There was something fragile and twitchy about her. She did not seem real at all; it was, as if she was part of a dream, she had been dreaming and living it.
She was longing for Kester.
The longing had transformed Bea into a loving statuette. She stood for hours near her window, motionless; starring out towards her lawn, thinking Kester would come by.
Tears came pouring out of her eyes, and she wept and cried until there was no more tears inside her, and finally slept.
The next morning she was all right. She spoke to her friend Amber, and explained everything, recounting the years back with Kester, her studies and her hard work and struggle at the colledge.
This distressed her so; she decided to visit Kester when she knew that her sister Felicia was absent.
She knocked at the door.
She slowly said, “I am standing here, to visit you”
Kester opened the door and fastened his eyes on her slender well-formed figure, so exposed to him through the light quality of her material that adhered to her body in such a confrontational manner.
Kester steered at her beautiful curvy figure. Bea`s breasts taut under the fabric. He could see her nipples clearly and cuttingly.
Bea`s face was compassionate and decisive, her movements were slow and passionately upset.
Heat stormed through Kester`s head and flanks.
He was, sexually aroused.
He bowed, was too emotional to communicate. Felicia was not at home. They were lucky that day and moment.
As he gazed at her, his yearning shot through him, and in the same shrill and pressing manner that it always did when she was close to him. He had never desired a woman as much as he required her.
Bea had, come to Kester in the front entrance, stood for a while, and tiptoed to Kester. She was eager and fearless.
Kester smooched her, kissed her and held her tightly.
He ran to the windows and closed the curtains clinging and gluing to the arms of Bea determinedly.
Instinctively, he put his hands around her and directed her to the bedroom.
Their love for each other was strong and undiminished. Kester turned out the lights and made love to Bea.
He was quiet, his body held at an oblique angle. He shifted slightly so that their bodies amalgamated. They moved closer to each other, and Bea felt his hardness against her thighs.
Kester slipped her cloths over her shoulders and pulled it down past her breasts. He gazed deeply into Bea`s eyes, his love for her spilling out. He lifted his hand, stroked her cheek. He dropped his head against her stomach and his arms went around her. He smoothed his hands at her back and slowly over her buttocks.
Bea trembled and her desire for him swept through her. Her heart beat rapidly and her skin tingled in anticipation. She stroked his, and then let her hands fall unto his shoulders, where they rested.
He covered her stomach, with wavering kisses. He buffed her back, her behinds and her thighs. His hands came to contemplate in the spineless mellifluous curls of hair that covered the rise in the middle of her legs. He separated the loving petals, stimulated the little folding of warm, wet skin that sheltered her womanhood.
There were protracted, gentle, prolonged kisses; his hands played amongst the scented folding, seeking, and conveying his tongue to join the search.

A violent and impulsive warmth erupted and began to pulse at her essential. The trembling and the pulsation increased. Her breathe was paroxysmal and shallow.
It felt too good that it was agonizing to sustain the feeling. Her body surrendered to the excess amount of pleasure it was sustaining. She vibrated.
The vibrating started, around her hips, and spread.
The entire body was, hooked up to an electrical stimulation. She was, frozen in position as her senses were, electrocuted repeatedly. She experience euphoria; and collapsed.
Her entire body tingled. As his pushing continued to get faster, her body lifted from the bed as though something was trying to escape through her ribs.
He, pushed faster, she felt the heat started to spread. The electric pulses grew strong moving outwards from her hips to her torso, to her arms and was unable to escape the shock waves. Her body lighted up and busted into million pieces, collapsing shaking, and speechless.
She wanted more.
They departed.
A day after Romance
In spite of her periodic happenstances with love making, Bea`s, oddity gave her peacefulness to precisely the point that it preoccupied her mind from the triviality of daily life. She had grown up. She was a woman.
She thought to herself one day as she was wandering round her home,
“If I had not met Kester I do not know what I could have done. Nevertheless, we cannot continue in this manner. I often wonder just how I should take it if Kester were to leave me. Sometimes my heart feels much worked up. I am now filled with full of passion and aggressive longings. At times, it is, possessed by empty and despairing reception. Other times not.
When I think of all that dazzling life could ensure and become, I narrowly know how to contain my pleasant and happy-stricken passionate state.
The only way to overcome them is to throw myself into marriage. Luckily, because in any average humankind, exalted emotions of this type do not last very long”.
Nevertheless, her life did seem to be very auspicious right now so, she clanged to what she had a world of pleasantness and comfort.
Looking with bright eyes into singularly empty future, which seemed capable of being filled only with the help of Kester, she did not feel in the least inclined to marry. She was, everlastingly hooked with Kester.
Bea, “For a day or two I felt peculiarly, wobbly I was happy with strange joy that was unlike any other feelings I had known before. It was something of happiness of menace and agony.
However, the vital sense of self-conquest soon vanished, for within the next few weeks a good night’s sleep proved impossible”.
The revelation
Nearly two months later, Bea was asking herself why she had not seen Kester. She hungered to see him desperately. She suddenly grew animated and there was a new high-spiritedness about her. Closing the door behind her, she walked to Kester with her usual dignified rigorousness. She yelled anxiously, in her shrill voice, “Hello, hello, Kester”
Kester, coming out of the sitting room, said “Hello, Bea come in please”
Bea, entered and said,” I expect you to be alone; why are you sitting in darkness?”
Kester, putting the lights on said, “I sometimes meditate in darkness”.
She disbelieved Kester, her eyes was, filled with curiosity and suspicion.
Bea said hurriedly, “Good evening”.
Her suspicious eyes evaluating him up. She hurriedly acquainted herself with the rooms. She had been there before, but sought to see if somebody, specifically her sister was in.
Kester took a deep breath, talked in a more even tone, “She leaves me alone a great deal these days, and you know she does. In fact, she is sometimes out with her other sisters”
Bea made herself comfortable on the sofa, sighed heavily and shook her head. “But why have you not come to me is something the matter?”
Kester, “No, of course nothing is wrong, it is just that she has to see her family from time to time”
Bea`s mouth tightened in displeasure. “I am also part of the family, why does she not visit me? Does she suspect something between you and me?”
Kester, “Mmm! I don`t think so, anyway I do not know. I am sure there is a good explanation why she visits them”
Bea, “Ah! Well, I suppose there is”
A little while later, Bea leaned forward and kissed Kester. She lay on the sofa on her back, and starred at Kester, her eyes were wide opened and, unblinking. She smiled to herself thinking of the last time they met. She groaned and bestirred herself, then sat up. This time she opened and closed her eyes and adjusted them to the brightness. She was restless.
Bea, “I am in love, Kester. For the past two weeks, all I could think about was making love to you in a nice comfortable bed and now, that we are, together, we are ignoring it and decide on silence instead.
She took off her chemise, pushed herself up the sofa, bent herself, and wrapped her arms around Kester. He walked her into the bedroom and installed themselves in the middle of a large bed, where they lay.
Kester, “You are truly a gorgeous girl, did you know that?”
Bea, “That is why you are in love with me”
Kester, “Your eyes are like cerulean, do you also know that”? He gave her a touching look and puffed her a kiss.
Bea, “That is why we are her” Stretching her left leg and rubbing it.
Her happiness knew no bounds and she busted into ecstasy. He smiled, analyzing her closely, hopping that her coming to him had not, upset her undeservedly, because he felt he did not welcome her, enthusiastically.
Bea was pleased, her eyes was glittering with pleasure; she offered him a minor bow and a kiss in return.
Kester, “I must say you are most kind and lovely”
They made love.

Felicia`s reactions
Felicia arrived home; she hurried into the sitting room and took off her hat. She called Kester. Her voice echoing through the rooms
Everything was silent.
Felicia quickly entered the bedroom on intuition and found her husband Kester with her beloved sister Bea levitating from their lovemaking. They did not hear her coming.
Felicia had not realized, as she was latter to realize through her own mental surrender; a feeling of rage, sadness, humiliation, and depression could not be bearable.
She focused more on the emotional side, because she was more likely to forgive an affair not involving emotion and was inclined to forgive Kester who had been smashed into the act.
She focused on their children, their finances, and their existence and was distraught with feelings of disloyalty and anger,
She experienced conflicting feelings, from fury and self-blame to solipsism and optimistic assessment of their marriage.
The agony of love and fear filled Bea with ire and she sat at the edge of the bed humbly under disdain and embarrassment
Kester was, constrained by a sense of disgrace. However, it prompted Felicia to evaluate herself. She felt as if she had ruined something and felt she was not good enough.
She felt miserable and lost all the fondness to Kester with feelings of emptiness. However, in a way, it created intensification in magnetism, inspiring a desire to pull him closer her. She felt selfish toward him feeling that Kester belonged to her and not Bea.
Felicia had a persistent sense of annoyance with what he had done because she had greater anticipations and respect for him.
Felicia had been seeing signs of it for years but she was not able to lay a finger on anything. She had not wanted the situation to happen.
She had been so preoccupied with everyday doings that she really did not have a chance to redirect on where they were emotionally.
Bea, her sister, the cause of this emotional firestorm, kept silent.
For the time being, the inflammatory emotions burned down whatever barrier might have existed between Felicia and Kester. She was so angry and despised herself.
She wished the affair had never happened.
Bea melted away the distress of her triviality into tears and grief and said to Felicia,
“Sis, I had been living in complete denial about the entire situation. I was living in a make-believe life and not thinking straight. I really did not know what I was doing so forgive me sis.”
Bea came clean to minimize the upset.
Felicia said to Kester, “I am pointing my finger at you because having an affair with my sister is certainly not the best way to go. However, you must understand that it is my reactive means to overcome my anguish towards a highly destructive situation. I know you do not like to be, blamed, nobody does but I will not say sorry. I may journey to my parents for a while until things cool down”
For a few hurried moments, they did not come near to one another. Felicia was pregnant but she had hopes; and her anticipations were very sweet.
She journeyed to their distant family. She never returned, she died from miscarriage due to heavy bleedings.
Gradually, the circumstances of Felicia`s death, hit Kester. He could not grasp at first, but began to acquire, coherence in his mind. Through news from the township and the priest who had buried her and the family, whose pity was gushy, Kester was able to piece together the details of the painful and messy death of Felicia. She felt, he was, to blame and resigned to himself for several months.
The gruesome news made him realize, as he had never realized before, all what Felicia meant to him. They had four children together, Ceff and Leadbeater were the boys amongst them, and Ann and Diana were the two girls. Diana was the oldest.

Chapter 4
Kester Thoughtful and Philosophizing

His name was Ceff
Before the death of Felicia, Kester was minding his businesses affairs. He was often at home by Felicia and had given birth to Ceff.
He was born in the year 1934, Friday at, ten minutes to midnight, on 24 August in the middle of a cold season the country had ever witnessed.
He was a lusty, robust, smiling, sucking his fingers and moving all his limbs vigorously. He came screaming into the world.
His mother Felicia called him the fighter and she was list surprised when she saw that his son was the one who drew others to him. He had a “gift of the chit chat” He was the second born of her four children and the first born of his father, Kester. Felicia had a child Diana, before marrying Kester. There was never any problems in their marriage.
Felicia and Kester seemed to thrive well. There was no lack of good communication and they had a satisfying, successful lasting connubial relationship. They talked and shared feelings and engaged in playful chitchat. They both laughed at issues, and put them into perspective. Kester was seemingly honest with Felicia, because he clarified matters Felicia found repulsive.
Felicia, “Well, people do not usually find fault with themselves and husbands do not usually say what they have in mind to their spouses. Some fear it may hurt the other”.
Felicia thought it was another girl but this turned out to be a handsome active boy. Two years later in 1936, she delivered another handsome boy and three years after, another smashing girl in 1939, a year in history of the country when it was, shaken by a devastating earthquake.
Matched to his handsome exterior, Ceff had a superb athletic body. He was well muscled, strong and firm.
Neat and tidy at all times, he considered himself to be a bit of a fashionable lad. He liked fashionable clothes and wore them with flair and sophistication.
He was Felicia`s favourite.
His siblings were aware of this, but they were not jealous because they shared their mother`s feelings with him. His brother looked up to him, respected him and hero-worshipped him; his sisters idolized him. Ceff was a lad of a kind, generous, compassionate and ever ready to help.
The father, Kester on the other hand treated Ceff like a normal, ordinary lad. There was tranquility and peace at home.
Kester and Ceff were good friends and usually travelled together.
Once they travelled together on one of Kester`s business trips. There was much intimacy between them. They stock closely with each other.
One splendid day they travelled to the interior of a territory. They toured toward the deepest jungle. Kester had some business dealings. He had his chauffeur who was well acquainted with the region.
The mother Felicia was the main confidence of Ceff and a friend. She always had been, she always was- until the day she died. She asked Ceff not to travel because she was afraid of what would happen to him.
A short time later, Felicia retreated and said, “You are quick, bright, and intelligent; you have a powerful analytical ability and retentive memory, so you should help your father and accompany him.”
What gave such the idea to Felicia to tell Ceff and later retreated was not known, perhaps a mother`s premonition.
However, the trio- the father, the son and the chauffeur drove for several hours before approaching the region; they observed that the tropical sun and rainfall had retained the wilderness of the jungle because of the extremely scorching sun.
They drove further into the forest and observed that the region was sopping with water.
The trio were exhausted. Kester said. “Let us search for a comfortable cool spot and rest”
They had taken gallons of iced water along. However, by the time they arrived, the ice had, evaporated into vapor. All the same, they comforted themselves by drinking it saying, “It is good for our health”.
They observed small creatures on top of the trees enjoying their usual meals. Observing the creatures made them hungry so, the chauffeur Mr. Boat unpacked their sandwiches.
Ceff with his sharp eyes observed some, heavy, bushy and thick brushwood piled up on their pathway. On top of that, the area was, murky, muddy, and misty and obscured presenting teething troubles for them to drive.
Ceff watched for treacherous, animals and chimpanzees. There were none and that calmed their nerves. However, there were many monkeys, but they were not afraid of them.
The night fell very brusquely and they covered themselves with blankets and dozed off.
The next morning they were, received by the most beautiful, multi coloured butterflies on earth, meeting in a sludge to acquire the minerals they required.
They tried to clear the debris, it was simply impossible but luckily, some friendly strangers all of a sudden emerged from the bush and offered to help them.
They strangers walked through the sludge and pulled the jeep. Some of them fell into the mud. They were, covered all over, with sludge, yet they continued to pull. Others wounded themselves in the process and yet they sustained.
Ceff remembering that her mother asked him not to travel at first said, “So it was a premonition perhaps I should have listened to my mother”
The strangers directed them through the jungle until they finally reached their destination. They walked slowly by the side of the jeep, whilst they trio sat in the vehicle.
On their way, they observed that some of the strangers were superstitious but that helped to protect themselves from evil.
At the settlement, they were welcomed.
Kester was a businessperson and they had come to buy some treasurable items.
They had travelled from a comfortable lifestyle into one, in which they had to boil the water before they drank whilst the strangers drank the liquid, without boiling it, and unaffected.
Kester and his group remained for two days to inaugurate trade relationship. Kester had never visited them before; he was, endorsed by a comrade to trade with the natives.
All of a sudden, a huge man sprang out from behind one of the tall trees. They were all panic-stricken, trembled, and perspired.
Ceff said, “This is a second premonition, perhaps we must travel back, mother was correct but I could not have left Dad alone”
However, in the end, it turned out to be a gigantic, lofty frightful man who was rather scared of them; he was putting up a brave face to ask for nourishment.
Kester said to Ceff, “It was good you accompanied me”
They travelled back and Ceff swore to himself never again.
At home, Ceff narrated everything to his Mom, who said, “But I had more or less a kind of intuition, however, all well that ends well”

Bea had left Kester after the death of her sister
At home Kester leaned back on his chair, sat philosophizing reflectively.
For no reason at all he suddenly, Kester thought of Bea. She had a way of popping into his head when he list expected. He had not seen her for some time but, when he closed his eyes, he could see her face very clearly, in such details.
He was not intending to marry her because that would lead to the terrible bondage of marriage. What he was sitting with was complicated already. He tried to put his mind off Bea. It never worked.
He described every details about Bea with his eyes shut. At the same time, he felt it was a hopeless waste of time to do so. He was ambivalent. He had to occupy himself with something to avoid thinking of her or he could contact her straight away. He was not having it easy with himself.
Mr. Boat, the driver was, in good terms with Kester and was very loyal to him. He recognized that his boss was in dilemma and sat with him privately to chat about matters.
Boaten asked, “What is this thing called love?
Kester replied, “Have you never been in love before”
Boaten, “No sir, I have never”
Kester said, “Well, romantic love is built on few essential physical appearances of the one adored. Loving more than one person is not absolutely, impossible. The supplementary love is, based upon diverse characteristics, thus the two loves balance rather than contrary. The one love is more lasting whilst the romantic love is temporally and periodic, depending on the corporal make known and, physiology of the person involved. It is like strong fascination. There is no sensible denial in loving two people at the same time: However, one can discuss this theme to endlessness”
Boaten, “So, people have different ideas about it, but emotionally, it will be agonizing to picture your lover in the arms of another person”.
Kester, “Yes indeed and that is what makes it difficult because I would not like to experience it myself. I am emotionally too allergic”

Bea and Felicia’s children

Years had gone by and the more Kester thought of Bea the more he detested himself for not contacting her. He relied upon the bulwark of Bea to give him some purpose to his existence, which seemed to have become singularly purposeless. His children needed mommy`s care.
In the painfulness of his despair, he revealed to Bea considerably of his torments and all his unpleasantness, with the sense of leaving behind him all that life still detained.
Determinedly he rejected the concern that he was alone in taking care of the children and, insolently maintaining that he did not have to go through this single-handedly, he needed Bea. The exertion was more disheartening beyond explanation.
To complete his nervous misery and speculations, he knew that children constantly required guidance and help from their parents but he was not at hand to administer them because of his work. That drove him to craziness.
He tried to take life’s setbacks in pace and get on with it rather than dwell on the pain of loss, no matter how challenging it seemed at first.
He hired a house cleaner, but then again when a surviving spouse was, left to raise young children alone the challenge of adjustment was enormous; and widowhood was harmful to his health.
He constantly remembered the absence Felicia.
Family members advised him with infuriating unity to get married very soon, but Kester resented the suggestions bitterly. What was important for Kester was to uphold normal doings at home and in the communal wherever probable, and for Bea to give extra support for the children. They were still in love with each other.
Bea took time to give the children embraces and clasps. She favoured for the children constantly, repressed their uncertainties and anxieties and she appreciated the children`s own way of control.
She offered then abundant encouragements and inspirations and chattered plentifully with them. The children could not have been in better hands.
Bea`s pregnancy
The other sisters were, disconnected by the change in Bea, because she now avoided all but the most obvious duties, of looking after Kester’s children. The intrusive family soon turned into confused edginess because of jealousy. However, Bea was not baffled and in the process of playing a homemaker, became pregnant with Kester’s child.
It was a bitter depressing afternoon, and the rain with cold winds drove bursts of heavy rain into her face. Bea watched the rain dropping and wondered how; ever she was going to get through the fatigued souvenir of life. She was only at the commencement of her thirties’ she might have additional forty, perhaps even fifty years to live. The outlook seemed abysmal, and she trembled with unhappiness to terminate the pregnancy as her numb legs wobbled underneath her.
She was apprehensive, and did not know what was right or wrong. She endured sleepless nights because of the consequences to follow.
She had stomach discomforts, emotional and physical distress and had intense pressure to “get it over with.”
In the status quo, she developed antipathy against mannishness.
She was ambivalent, irritated and aggressive, defending herself for her action towards the pregnancy termination. However, with the moral support from Kester, Bea recovered and her wits returned.
Her premonition was not to allow her future children encounter what she was going through. The omen still holds.

Chapter 5

Kester, had wed another woman,
His children were full-fledged

After twenty years of privileged life, Bea undoubtedly felt that whatever vicissitude she had encountered, she had had an enjoyable life. It was time for her to say “I do” and her family obviously agreed to her intention.
Nothing could sojourn her complete hunger for marriage, or induce her to stop doing what she envisioned to do. She wanted to prove that she could keep herself employed as a teacher and get, hitched.
It was quite thrilling for Bea to be a defenseless female and felt that no one in her close surroundings was indifferent about her or whatever, happened to her.
Felicia`s children had grown to adulthoods and needed no chaperon. Kester had left the metropolis and had wedded a new woman.
Bea met menfolk who wanted to wed her. She did not take them seriously because Kester was there. After Kester had moved out, she still loved him and thought the men she encountered could not afford to give her a comfortable home. She was a teacher at work, and could take care of herself.
One strenuous sundown, after weeks and weeks work at the school, Bea almost blacked out. She was extremely flabbergasted and demeaned, probably because she thought she was going to pass on.
Bea had been feeling lonely lately and felt an urgent need to visit Kester.
Throughout the last preceding days, she had, experienced series of thundery nights. There was no moon or stars, so it was, gloomy. There were sporadic flurries of rain, distant rumbles of thunder and repeated sparkles of lightening.
She felt spooky and very deserted. She was on edge and could only walk to her terrace but the rain kept on blowing against her. She watched the total blackness and hanged on to the wild echoes of the winds with a floor lamp, which the speediness of air kept on gusting out.
Short hours in bed seemed adequate because the nights were so mild.
Well, she decided eagerly that there was no harm in visiting Kester and travelled to visit him, no matter where he was, or whom was with him. She recognized she was in for it. She felt animated on the other hand frightened. She knew she should possibly not, because Kester was happily married; but because, to her passionate powerlessness not to do so, was, added the sharp salt of passionate inquisitiveness.

Bea`s first Matrimony
A Fella, Robert

Close your eyes,” Amber said “and keep on closing it until I tell you to open them” Amber was a friend of Bea.
Bea, “Okay, I will do exactly as you say; smiling to herself and gazing at her newly acquired shoes.
Her happiness knew no boundaries and she was bursting with joy.
Bea said, “Should I open my eyes now? By the way, what am I closing my eyes for, is it Kester”?
Amber squeezed her face, “Why are you always thinking of that man?” He is married and gone. You better block him out of your head”
Bea grinned at her. “What is it please tell me. I can`t wait.”
Amber, “There is a fine-looking man admiring you. He had watched you for the last forty minutes. He does not seem to take his eyes of you, do you know him”?
Bea observing her own figure and satisfying herself asked, “Where is he Amber, are you making fun of me, why can`t I see him?”
Amber, “Mmm! But you are looking at yourself, he is coming over there, don`t look at him it is not polite”
A tall man suddenly approached from behind a tree. He stopped suddenly, swung his head to Bea, and lifted his eye, lids. He blinked for a sec, smiled and took his sunglasses to shade his eyes.
It was cold that day, and has been for some time. Everywhere was dry and the sky was dreary: but the air was fresh and healthy and there was sunshine periodically.
Bea and Amber were interested in ornithology, the branch of zoology that studied birds. They were at the beach to enjoy themselves.
The birds dived and dipped and altered directions simultaneously as if there was some kind of intellect telling them what to do.
The strange man advanced close to them and interrupted, “There is no any front-runner but they categorically alter course at the same time, just as shoals of fish do”.
There was quietness and Amber looked at Bea.
“Pardon me, my name is Antachi, Robert Antachi,” He said, smiling charmingly and extending his hand to greet them.
Bea was flabbergasted but thrilled, swaying her body left and right. She intended to pull out her eye, glasses from her handbag to hide and view the man but in her apprehension, pulled out her field glasses instead.
“Oh sorry, I am edgy”, She said admittedly, biting her fingers.
The three of them had a good prank. They sat down and talked nineteen to the dozen. The chap was gregarious and charismatic.
He was well dressed in an expensive silver shinning suite. His manners portrayed a well-educated person. There was no marriage ring on his finger. After a while, he invited the three of them to coffee. Bea had no appointments and nothing doing so she agreed. However, Amber wanted the two to be together so she invented an alibi and left.
They strolled through a cluster of walkways; Mr. Robert Antachi called his chauffer and they drove in his Mercedes Benz to a five-star hotel. He was showing off and impressing Bea.
The beautifications, the illuminations, the flower set-ups and the gorgeous Eighteenth Century Rococo furniture impressed Bea and, in fact the whole kit and carbuncle.
He was a bachelor and a famous solicitor.
After the coffee, he asked Bea home.
As Bea entered his house……
Bea commented, “You have an incredible home, I must say”
They spent quite a long time at the home chatting. Bea stayed for many hours.
After that, she visited Robert many times.
He finally proposed to Bea and they became man and wife.
They had become good friends.
Two years later
Bea became expectant and was very happy for her first real pregnancy. It was her second pregnancy but Robert did not know about that. It weighed down on her. She had not told Robert about Kester.
Bea was teaching and at times, she worked very hard at school and at home. She thought of her first pregnancy with Kester and that distressed her psychologically and made her gloomier.
Consequently, with all these psychological problems her pregnancy was turning out to be a difficult one.
She developed morning sickness and edema in her lower extremities. Her morning sickness was becoming severe and the nausea often continued during the day. Her vomiting was getting more severe and she was, weakened.
Robert was very concerned about her and sympathetic about her disorder. He thought a doctor was, needed or perhaps she should be, hospitalized but Bea refused, she knew about the underlying issue. Her pregnancy with Kester was on her mind.
Although, the baby represented so much to her and more than she could bear because the baby was not only the fruit of their relationship and their first child, but also the beginning of a family of her own which she had so yearned for many years.
Her sickness prompted her to take care of her health and her diet not to endanger the baby and to stay fit.
She ultimately, gave, birth, a darling girl, she was, christened Alex.
Her marriage to Robert fell apart after a couple of years due to variety of misunderstandings and mistrustfulness. Probably, Bea had Kester at the back of her mind.

Five years later
Amber felt into the habit of dropping in to see Bea twice a week. Bea had now been married for five years.
One afternoon, Bea went shopping and she was a little late in coming home. When she arrived in the house, it was noisy.
She thought there was a large get-together; but was surprised to find out that, there were few people in the house playing Robert`s newly acquired record player and making all that fuss.
When she entered the sitting room, she was, introduced by her husband to a fine-looking girl, short and who looked somewhat ill at ease when she first saw Bea.
She was dressed in a beautiful expensive blue silk with a long, shambled skirt that covered her chubby legs. She had well-developed upper body. Her arms were a little chunky, and her neck was long and pretty.
She was, not very excited to see Bea, and her, brown eyes simmered. There was no doubt; she was a very appealing and desirable young woman. It was obvious that, unless she took care of herself she would develop an inappropriate chubbiness.
Robert asked Bea to sit down and she found herself placed between this young girl and another nervous girl. She was about fourteen and talked at the top of her voice.
Bea, “I wonder if I have landed on another sphere”.
Bea felt very uncomfortable to be in her own home.
Bea, “I wish Aber had accompanied me”

A man came into the room. He had a rough, unfinished expression. He had a short somewhat horizontal nose, a sensual mouth, and a darker complexion.
He was obviously a family member by the way he talked spontaneously to them. His virility was imposing.
There was nothing cheeky in his manner, and yet Bea got the impression that he was missing a humoristic sense and sensitivity.
He conversed with Bea.
Bea wondering, “What is he really thinking when he made conversation with me? That I am sure I will never find out”.
The young woman with the silky outfit was obviously unsure of herself and Bea conceived the notion that she was someone closer to Robert than she previously thought. She had already fashioned her own belief about Bea. However, Bea did not care whatever she thought of her.
Bea, “We sat and chattered for some hours. I could not hark back to all that was, discussed but the meaning of it was vibrant in my recollection.
I was staggered for being, asked to join them that day, for after a little aimless conversation they began to tête-à-tête of a matter that I thought they could have desired to debate in private.
I could not make up my mind whether it was wise for me to get up and go or whether as a host I should be good mannered to stay a little longer and find an alibi to leave.
As far as I could gather, there was something quite sinister. That woman was, connected to Robert in other ways than I had imagined. She was Robert`s concubine and the fourteen year-old girl was Robert`s daughter.
I thought, honestly, single men seem more unpredictable than married men do, they can cause more spectacle, harm and needless pain in one’s life if they do not have respectable purposes. Oftentimes they are not. Maybe, this man, Robert is disingenuous and perhaps he will leave me bewildered and confused one day. The only man I have ever known is Kester, with him I am secured”
Suddenly she got up, brimming over with pride because she had made up her mind to be cautious about Robert. That incident was, edged on the tablets in her memories.
Bea, developed a canny sense about life
From that day on, she developed a careful sense about life. She was, so disciplined and contrived to go her solitary way. She was happier when she was not married to Robert.
Bea sat down one day rememorizing, “When I was much younger and at the junior school, I contrived to go my solitary way. The youth wanted to meet each other for the sake of friendship, but I did not.
However, after I met Kester, my feelings reached a point of no return. I began to distinguish actual events from tales, dreams from truths. These vital discoveries of my feelings came thick and fast. After some years of marriage, I feel like seeing life as it really is.”
Her exhausted face had an outstanding happiness with marks and codes of cleanliness and blamelessness. Yet, she was ready to spend all her emotions on happenstance with Kester.
Bea had learnt much about the shocking mistakes she had made in life. It seemed to have involved many hitches.
On the other hand, she felt that with competent hands around her, she had a stress-free life. She had not recognized beforehand that to be, and no one else, together with Kester was, that she wanted.
“Although, I hardly see him, my courage is not tumbled-down; I am not the kind of person to give up easily,” she said.
She acknowledged that she had made a mistake by wedding Robert and was aware of the consequences to follow. She was sure that she was not creating something out of suitability or fantasy but real.
She knew that she had enthusiasticeness and jollity, humor and good manners as well as beautiful looks thus; it was not a difficult task to find another husband. Her marriage to Robert had changed all that for all times.
Bea separated from Robert and for many years continued to see Kester more frequently than before. From time to time she learnt from people about what was happening to Kester`s children. She was in fact their second mother.
All she knew was that the children had been scattered all over the country so, she thought it was not likely to run across any of them.
She did not move in the same circles and places as the children did although she was a teacher. It was very sad that she had gone so completely to seed. Only a few family members knew where the children were but were not sure and none could claim closeness with them.
Bea`s circle of relationship had no idea about where the children were.
However, she had planned to find out where they were and to visit them one day. She missed them.
Bea employed as a teacher

As free as a bird, she could do what she wanted; Bea continued her work as a Teacher. The life suited her. She was very happy.
She was, well, disciplined and austere but good with children.
The library was good and she read a great deal.
Amber visited her. She was, deeply impressed by their learning, their piety and their routineness because Bea had scheduled and organized courses and lessons for the children. It was not an idle life because, the children had desires for learning and were happy.
Amber enjoyed the splendour of happiness the children displayed, their eyes, glowed with satisfaction. Smiles saturated the classrooms testifying to their progress, development and achievement. They were, constantly occupied.
There was something supportive to, the orderliness, of their daily work, because, of the energy and the spirit they displayed. All these gave indication of a, supervised and guided, scholars.
The children felt gratitude to Bea.
Bea`s family
For the first time in ten years, Bea spent her holidays alone. Though older, she was wiser, and looked a lot younger than her age; she was as beautiful as ever.
Bea`s family lived in harmony. The coherent lifestyle made them feel contented.
Bea was not on her own; she had two other sisters, Eileen and Elizabeth.
Eileen had religious beliefs. She was independent and lay emphasis on spiritual exploration. She was still single and never married.
Elizabeth was more of a nervous, but a serious kind. She was hesitant in speech, a stammer. She was very stringent authoritarian but very charming. She married a prominent man a schoolteacher, arranged by Felicia before she passed away. She hardly associated herself with Eileen.
She had four children, one daughter and four boys.
The family loved the farmstead, the woodland, and the small houses in the neighborhood, with their cape like rooftops and the river that flew into the planks towards the lowlands. The air on the farm was calm and gentle.
The footpath leading to the farm was bumpy and fragmented, filled with slimy sludge, and creepy small bugs flew around in the cool soothing air.
An unfortunate incident
One day Bea came across a strange man on the farm who wanted to make friends with her.
Bea negated and said frankly to him feeling that he was harassing her.
“You are not good-looking at all and in fact, you are the most, ugliest and obnoxious man on this planet.”
The tall strange man reacted, “But you look so attractive”.
Bea said teasingly and wondering about his bizarre affection, “You are too tall with a short body, your legs are elongated, your arms are stretched out and you look awkward. Firstly, you must, deal with the length of your limbs; they are too lengthy.
The stranger said playfully, “But I was born that way, I cannot help it. I like you anyway, I have hankering for you”
Bea said good-humoredly, “You have a right-angled face with protruding cheekbones and an outsized mouth. How can you love? For you as a man, desires of that sort have no emotional meaning”
The man was, to some degree charming. At least he was daring and fancied Bea. He disappeared hurriedly into the greeneries hiding his face.
Bea was, always joyful, full of fun and unique sense of humour but then again, the rest of the family had teething worries comprehending her although, she was droll and witty.
Bea`s first daughter Alex and her marriage
Alex was Bea`s first child with Robert. She was cared for by Robert`s parents after the separation. Bea had custody but Alex lived with her grandparents. She grew up to be a beautiful woman and trained as teacher like her mother.
Alex married Christ. This man was an interesting fellow. He was a hard working fella but enjoyed drinking alcohol. It was always difficult for Alex to make reasonable conversation with a drunken man. The sober were always at a disadvantage with him.
Alex could discuss about important problems for few minutes but it was always in a boring, uncomfortable manner. He was frequently mad as hell, bad-tempered, aggressor and uncontainable. That restrained their relationship, which ended in turmoil. Alex was determined not to let him goad her into losing her temper but it did not hold. She was regularly losing her temper.
Alex felt overwhelmed by the relationship and occasionary people looked at her strangely. She sensed they thought she was unapproachable, unforthcoming and an elitist, and often they seemed wary with her. His drinking was unrelenting, and Alex found it was unbearable to live under the umbrella of drunkards. She broke up with him.
Her life was as haphazard-hit-or-miss as her mother, Bea was.
They separated and had one child, a boy.
She is now retired and live by herself in her son`s house, a reclusive area, after passing through vicissitudes of life
Bea`s Preparation for her
Second Matrimony
One sunny day, Bea found herself staring into the face of a handsome man. Her heart dropped.
Bea was at a Shopping Mall, and sighting a man she had seen previously, “For heavens’ sake what are you doing here?
The eligible bachelor said, breaking into a warm and affectionate smiles “Going shopping as you can see”
Bea, “Can`t your wife do the shopping for you?”
The man, “Don’t you know, I am not married?”
Bea extending her head and looking up, “No, I do not know, I would not have asked if I knew. Nevertheless, what are you waiting for? And by the way, I have forgotten your name”
The man, “I thought you remember have you forgotten it?”
Bea, somewhat cheeky, “I would not have asked if I remembered”
The man. “Well, the name is John, John Antwi”
Bea, “Oh! Yes, I can remember, now I can. It was rather silly of me to forget”
John, smiling, contend and bemused, “Now you remember, I am so happy to see you. I am not married and have never been”
Bea grinning, “What have you been waiting for?”
John waving his head up and down, smiling, “I am waiting for the right woman”
Bea, still grinning and wobbling with her hands, “So, you have stayed all this time without finding the right woman? Just what kind of a woman are you waiting for?
John, “A woman resembling you”
Bea, smiling and saying jokingly, “I am flattered, but do you think you can afford me?”
John, a little disappointed but holding up courage, “You are joking, of course I can afford you, but you are already married”
Bea beaming paradoxically, “I was but I have been out of it long time ago”
John, joyful but making as if he was remorseful, “Oh! I am sorry, very sorry”.
Bea, “Don`t feel sorry for me, it was a good thing I got out. You would not have met me if I was still in it, so do not be hasty to wish me something you may regret on”
John, his face in a sign of exclamation, “What do you mean by, something I may regret on?”
Bea, “Don’t be foolish, you are a man, are you not? I am a woman, am I not? You are not, wed; neither am I so, do not ask silly questions”.
John, “Okay, that was very unwise of me, but you must understand that I have always wanted you but you never gave me a wink. At a certain point I thought you even despised seeing me around”
Bea, looking grim, and finding it strange, “Don`t say that, I have eyed you a number of times but you are too silly to perceive me”.
John, “Hmm, that is heartwarming to hear, I did not believe in myself. I thought you were too beautiful to be had, there were others finer-looking than me, so I always hid myself to wink you”
Bea, “Why don`t we find somewhere cozy and convenient to talk. I will cook you a nice dinner afterwards”
John drawing in his breath “This sounds good and perfect I am starving”
Bea, “Let’s go to my house then”
John, “Great, this is the best day in my life; it is good I woke up early today. But let us go to my house instead”
Bea starred at him, “Let us go if you are ready”
John, “I have shopping to do before we go, I will be grateful if you can assist me”
Bea, “Alright”

Both of them strolled to the Shopping Mall and spent the day at John`s house afterwards.
At John`s home, Bea cooked a palatable dinner. They sat and chartered for the rest of the day and listened to each other in fascinating mood.

The proposal
For a couple of months, Bea and John tried new things. They went to innovative places collected, and tried things, neither of them had managed before. They traveled to remote places neither of them had been before. They cooked and grilled together, joked, amused and pampered themselves. They exploited new destinations.

John was amused, satisfied, and proposed to Bea, which she wholeheartedly agreed. They were, joint in matrimony.

Their day-to-day routine
During their relationship, Bea was the sauna of his everyday living. He hugged her every day. They cooked together; travelled to places, teased each other and he took time to talk with Bea every day. None of them was tired to the limits of human endurance. It was an agreeable relationship.
In daybreaks, Bea would say, “Good morning darling, it is time`” or John would say “Good morning”, depending on who woke up first,
John would respond, “Yes, puselid, gushi gorgi, honey bear, I am awake”
Bea would respond. “Honey bear”
They hugged and threw a couple of kisses to each other.
Bea quickly, went to the bathroom, completed her womanly routine and dashed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
John made the bed, rushed to the kitchen to give Bea a hug and a kiss. He dashed to the bathroom to complete his part of the manly routine.
They sat at the table and ate their breakfast. They then prepared themselves for work. John opened the car door for Bea and drove her to work. He gave Bea a couple of kisses and a hug. Hereafter he drove himself work.
When Bea finished work, she waited for John and they drove home together.
They sat and chattered and relaxed.
John pealed the potatoes whilst Bea made the stew. After the food was prepared they sat, ate, and reported happenings at work and cracked jokes. If it were rice, for dinner. John cooked the rice whilst Bea prepared the stew and the salad.
After supper, matters of importance were, discussed and bills, if any were paid or posted the next day.
After that, they played their favourite game of Ludo.
In the evenings, they both sat and watched the television, holding hands, kissing and making comments.
During weekends, they cleaned the house together, and went out to friends. They pampered themselves.
During vacation time, they traveled to places and exploited places neither of them had been before. Their daily life was scheduled. Each one was responsive to the other’s needs.
However, each had days apart to visit families or otherwise.
They had pledge, initiative and obligation to encourage and foster their marriage and that initiative came from both of them. They were in tune with each other’s frame of mind, forbearance and flexibility.
They had a life worth living and a kind of healthy esprit de corps they shared.
John woke up one day, his eyes widening as he stared at Bea, he grasped her in the arms and squeezed her to him and said, “I always want to say this, and it is continuously in my mouth. I constantly thought of what I would do if you were not here. How can I live without you? The fact is, I cannot live without you. You see Bea, I love you very much, and I really do”
Bea was flattered and touching John`s face gently she said, “Thanks love. Deep in the inner recesses of my heart, my love for you remains intact and unmovable: that is an obvious fact.”
Tranquility descended on the house and Bea was the most contended person in the whole world. She was the most gratified in a way she had never been in her whole life.

To Bea, John was a model husband.
They had three children, two boys and a girl. The boys preferred working after their basic school education whilst the girl went further to be, trained as a teacher.

Chapter 6

Bea`s second matrimony
With John

A short time after Christmas all these loving gestures from John ceased abruptly, Bea realized that John`s work was taking an upper hand of him, but what troubled Bea was his physical withdrawal from her. What actually, troubled Bea was his lack of attention in her and her welfare. She found that weird, obdurate and wounding. The prototypical husband had suddenly turned into the classical extra-terrestrial.
Bea speculated, “Is it because of me? I know I have done no wrong or is, it because of another woman or is it because he needed the camaraderie of masculine company? Is it because he missed the hurly atmosphere of his family, where they danced and yell at each other? On the other hand, perhaps, our, daily routine work, is, getting to him; he had, had enough?”
Bea suddenly turned into an old woman, her age redoubled, her hair suddenly turned white and her face began to wrinkle because of constant speculation. People began to think she was gravely ill whilst John was putting on weight.
John did not care about Bea`s welfare and did not even attempt to explain why he was in that mood.
Bead held everything “Tus” and kept everything inside her. The only person who knew about her personality and her emotions was Kester but he was not around.
Her children had grown and she was alone with her husband.
Bea was unable to teach for the fear that inquisitive intruders, whose only duty was to laugh and despise failures, would mingle with her life, bombard her with questions, and that would make bad situation worse. She asked for a sick leave of absence.
Staying at home even aggravated and intensified her condition. It gave her ample time to speculate.
John came home late at nights every day from work looking happy, emancipated and contend. He refused to talk and kept himself busy with himself. It was an unbearable situation to live in until one day.
It was one afternoon, Bea had finished all of her domestic activities and despite being, surrounded by innumerable, and often disorderly housework, she sat on the bed, sad and downcast. Something struck her to look inside the double cover of the wastepaper bin.
Bea debated with herself looking so sad and ambivalent, “Why, inside the double cover of the wastepaper basket and for what”?
She sat down on the kitchen chairs, and said, “But what would, I be, looking for?”
The doorbell suddenly rang. There was somebody at the door.
Bea left the kitchen and ran to open the door. There was the mail carrier delivering some mails. She took the mails and ran quickly back to the kitchen.
She heard the door opening, it was, her husband John. He had come home to collect some items.
John did not say hello, he was pensive and absent minded. His face was grim and his movements were dis-coordinated. He looked wretched and weary. He took the mails in his handbag. He had been waiting for the mail that was the reason he came home.
After the collection of the mail, he circled around the dustbin twice not knowing Bea was watching him. He then sparked the bin with his left foot, went straight to the door and departed. It was weird and bizarre; and Bea thought he was getting crazy or something.
Anyway, Bea walked to the dustbin, looked inside the second cover of the bin and saw bunch of letters from solicitors on pending cases of legal proceedings. John had two children outside their marriage. He was paying child supports to two mothers, which was due a year ago.
This infuriated Bea and decided to move out of the relationship. She packed her belongings and departed to her own apartment, which was still empty and in good shape. That ended her second marriage.
Time passed
Bea, “Love and hate come and go,” She said, sitting down comfortably in her chair at home but distressed.
She had passed through numerous forms of life and along narrow thoroughfares but she never lost hope. Even though her sense of loss wrapped her, she was carefree. She was, feeling better with herself.
There was a time in her life when she had no one. All she had was Kester. Now she had four children one with Robert and three with John.
The dull weather gave way to the most glorious conditions she had ever seen in years. Blue skies and bright sunshine lifted her spirits. So did the trees bursting with green buds.
She gave up her work as a teacher and thought of something else. She intended to start her life afresh and with another job.
Luckily, her good deeds at the school did not abandon her. She got a job at a girl’s correctional home.
It was a center for teen girls between the ages of 12-16 years old. The center was located in a beautiful, peaceful location of the country, within a lovely city. The center was, highly honored, by parents and endorsed, because, they felt that the staff loved what they did and were committed. The staff members were passionate and enthusiastic about helping the teens succeed.
Bea traveled to the district and started working at the center.
The staff members were, women, they were all married. There was another charming, fellow, who showed Bea around the compound and their beautiful gardens with exotic plants. Bea often chattered with him whoever she was lonely.
Bea was happy, and her heart did, a tiny flip-flop of joy and her brown eyes glistered than ever. There was a radiance about her.
Kester visited her several times, but then again, Bea became too anxious, too tense to see him. However, she envisioned how life could have been with Kester. She always flashed with sympathetic looks whenever Kester visited her. They bloomed, smiled, glanced at each other, chartered and expressed their feelings. She had wanted him for years, for as long as she could remember, even when she was married with Robert and John.
On one occasion when Kester visited her, Bea began to laugh quietly in a way she had not chuckled before for years and her vivid brown eyes danced, like a bird with a vivid plumage. She had the feeling that, Kester was alone most of the time and lacked companions. She was also alone and spending most of the time by herself but at least she was out of John`s life.
A slow and dreamy – a woolgathering moment smile warmed her lips and his eyes were inviting.

Kester visits Bea at the center

On one occasion when Kester visited her, Bea began to giggle, – a foolish laugh in a way she had not giggled before for years and her glowing brown eyes oscillated.
She asked Kester to stay at supper.
At Bea`s apartment, she parted her moist lips. She smiled her most attractive and delightful smile and lay on the bed. She let her eyes roam over him provocatively. Kester had not realized what a voluptuous figure Bea had for a long time. She was curvy in a tight dress and had a curvaceous pleasing bosom.
He squeezed her arm, starred at her and kissed her. Moreover, as she cuddled up to him she knew she had nothing to worry about except to give herself to him. They made love.
Kester had never wanted Bea to go to work although, he helped her with education, but if Bea wanted to do so, it was all right with him. It was her prerogative.
All these therefore, became a driving force in Bea`s life, the desire for him. She had always known, in herself, that her love for him would never vanquish.
Bea`s employment
However, Bea concentrated on her job. The work was neither difficult nor complex; it was convenient, in that, the working hours were appropriate and the girls submitted to the rules of the center.
The work gave, Bea a sort of gratification, and she threw herself into it with her usual enthusiasm and energy. As she went about the work, there was always a smile on her face.
“This is exactly some of the things I wanted,” She said with a beam on her face.

Bea`s Third Matrimony

With Samuel

Time passed
One Sunday, at the Center, she watched an eye-catching man enter the gateway. He wore a remarkably impressive white shirt, a dark purplish red tie and wore black pants for casual wear.
The man looked up at her.
Bea took a deep breath, stabilization and calming herself. She leapt to her feet and hurried to him, her face shinning.’
The man glanced and beamed at her again.
Bea was happy and regained in spirit at least something of the glow of the status of woman. She thought she would be a fool to allow work to interfere with a delight in the passing moment that she might not fully regain.
Her heart was, filled with diffusing warmth and friendliness of people and memories of the past.
The man did not talk much but his presence was, a sufficient chat; He was so easy, so agreeably cheery that Bea could not ask more of him than what he bequeathed.
The man glanced at her again and said, “I have never seen such a beauty in this center before. I never believed such a beauty existed”
When he spoke, it was with charm and an astonishing smile on his lips.
Bea was, stricken dumb with astonishment and surprise and stood so still that one might have thought she was hypnotized.
Her breath was hurried and her eyes were, fixed in the same position for a minute. He was a kind of a man Bea would not hesitate to pass a lonely evening. Bea`s aloneness translated into aspiration and had conceived the desire for company. She gazed again as if she could not belief to meet such a man. It was affection at first sight.
She did not care what became of her and flung herself into the company of the alien and to get, even with life and menfolk, who had treated her so unkindly. She resigned her post at the correction center straightaway.
Bea`s third time proposal

One Sunday, at the Center, she watched a handsome man enter the gateway. He wore an amazingly impressive white shirt, a dark purplish red tie and wore black pants for casual wear.
The man looked up at her.
Bea took a deep breath, stabilization and calming herself. She leapt to her feet and hurried to him, her face shinning.’
The man glanced and beamed at her.
Bea was happy and regained in spirit at least something of the glow of the status of woman. She thought she would be a fool to allow work to interfere with a delight in the passing moment that she might not fully again so fully. Her heart was, filled with diffusing warmth and friendliness of people and memories of the past.
He did not talk much but his presence was, a sufficient chat; He was so easy, so agreeably cheery that Bea could not ask more of him than what he gave.
The man glanced at her again and said, “I have never seen such a beauty in this center before. I never believed such a beauty existed”
Bea was flabbergasted and stood so still that you might have thought she was hypnotized. Her breath was hurried and her eyes were, fixed in the same position for a minute. He was a kind of a man Bea would not hesitate to pass a lonely evening. Bea`s aloneness translated into aspiration and had conceived the desire for company. She gazed again as if she could not belief to meet such a man. It was love at first sight.
She did not care what people would say even if she flung herself into the company of the alien or get even with life, which had, treated her so cruelly. She resigned her post.
They fixed a date and Bea met him later at his apartment. The man was the assistant director of the center. His name was Samuel, Samuel Wilson.
Bea had the requisite qualities for; “equal to task”. She was not lightheaded and lacking seriousness. Neither was she a silly giggle or effusively or insincerely emotional, she was not mawkish; rather she gave an impression of lovely purity and a strange loftiness of soul. She was not a self-pitying type.
Bea said to Sam one day, “I want to search for a job as a welfare worker”
Sam said, “I am not particularly in favour of that activity, but why do you want to work”?
Bea, biting her teeth as if she was going to cry, said “But I cannot stay at home without working. I am a hardworking woman”
Sam, “Why don`t we wed instead”

They wed
Bea`s face changed and smiled humbly, rotating her eyes and said” That`s better, you can call the priest now and let`s get married. That was what I was waiting for and, that takes a long time to propose”
Sammy, “I was rather waiting to see if you would say yes. I was apprehensive that you will say nope”
There was a break in proceedings.
Bea viewed up grumpily, “Why are you proposing now, because you sense I will say yes”?
Sam, “No, you should not conclude that way, I wanted to tell you that confidence is a demoralizing passion and I do not possess that”.
Bea, “So, are you self-assured now?”
Sam “Yes, sureness to earn you to me”
Sam” Let us rather organize the ceremony instead of quarreling”
They both decided to organize the formality.

A gathering at Bea and Sammy`s place

Bea was contented with her life, and with Sam. Her marriage was solid; this time she felt now that she had a family of her own. Their relationship was superb and they were always happy, laughing, and easygoing.
Amber was still Bea`s friend. She was, introduced to Samuel. She looked at the man wobbled, lowered her voice and said directly, “This marriage is a mistake, I know the bloke, this type is no worthy, he is a hooligan”
Sam said nothing; he did not comment but nosedived. He acted like a schoolchild, feeling chagrinned as if what Amber said was factual and as if he acknowledged what she said.
Bea was, heartbroken and ordered Amber to leave immediately.
They were, surprised, and shocked, there was silence, they were, unable to speak, Amber left hurriedly saying, “Bea, do not ever say I did not tell you”.
Sam`s mother was at the gathering. She sat near Bea.
She asked Bea with a low and warm voice “Is everything all right with you, my dear?”
Bea said, “Yes mother, I am all right. I hope this is going to be an auspicious day”.
Bea leapt to her feet and hurried to Sam, her face was grave with concerned.
She took hold of Sam`s arm in the most moving way and said. “I am never going to let you go. Never. I will never leave you.”
Sam said zero. His face looking like an idiot.
Bea took a deep breath again, to stabilize herself and said, “Oh Sam dear, I love you”
Sam swayed his head left and right, glanced at Bea, and blinked with an eye. After a minute or two, he turned to her, saying nothing.
His eyes were austere. All he said was, “Something is rotten in Denmark”.
Bea looked at him indignantly and said, “What a heck does that mean?”
Sam took up his hold and went on his way. He saw the garage door opened. He walked through the door and left the gathering.
Bea was silent. She wondered whether that was the only reason for the unexpected step or whether there were some truth in what Amber said. The fact was Bea did not know how deeply he loved her.
She said, “Most people would protest against what Amber said and even invent some kind of reason to persuade the people gathered that it was not true or at least say something jovial but not just leave by the back door. I suppose that is why there are so many calamitous marriages”
Several months later
Later, there was peace in the family and Bea became pregnant. It was during Bea`s pregnancy that Sam exhibited his calvaliership. He was compassionate and sympathetic as well as obliging.
During Bea`s pregnancy, he said, “Bea, do not use high levels of Vitamin A, because it is not heathy to the baby, it might further deformity.”
Bea looked very entertained and said, “When did you become a doctor?”
Sam, looking very pleased said, “The answer is simple”
Bea, “But Sam, you do not have to answer that. However, I need more water to stay hydrated because it is hot in here doctor, I want to be physically active”.
Sam indefatigably said, “Oh I have been reading ever since the beginning of your pregnancy. When I fix my eye on something, I haunt it with the persistence of a plant scientist who exposes himself to hazards of torrents, earthquakes, diseases, and even unfriendly inhabitants to find flowers of unusual shapes and colours of uncharacteristic frequency just to receive a Noble Prize. They do not give up because of reputation. I mean, if I set up to do something, what I say is what I do and I mean”
Bea was completely astonished and even quivering, she said, “Why were you arrogant and annoying before? Why did you put up with the disgrace and without any painful emotion when Amber said that you were no good, but suffered the ignominy of running through the garage door? You ignored any denial, but swallowed her insolence”.
Sam, listened with all ears, his face frowning and said, “You are correct, but do you recollect that I have on one occasion expressed that I have no self-reliance in myself?”
Bea, with hesitant face expression, “Yes, I remember, but I did not think it was that massive. How can you determinedly express your masculinity without becoming icy? What is the most affectionate way for a man to express himself?
She reflected you have to learn to make real decisions and conclusions. You should understand the power of choice and know that life go bad when you nose dive and flourishes when you decide on a clear route. I often ask myself what was, the cause of the superciliousness that obsessed you, a man who is, so intelligent, and so cultivated, a sub-director of a center to keep quiet when he is, accused of something that is not true. You are no upstart.
We women become embarrassed when husbands cannot defend themselves. You own your attitude and must be proud of yourself. You should always defend yourself”
Sam, diving his head between his legs, “In fact, you are fairly right, I will make the determination next time. I believed it was rude to respond. She spoke her unfounded opinion. I do not really fancy her”
Bea, wondering, “Have you two met before?
Sam, undetermined and mumbling, “Y- e -s, it w-a-s many y-e-a-r-s ago”
Bea, getting somewhat frustrated and infuriated, “But why have you not told me?
Sam, released from his muttering, “You did not ask”
Bea, very irritated, “Tell me now, have you two been lovers”
Sam, what a straightforward question? He responded, “Yes”
Bea was flabbergasted, released but heated said, “And you have kept this from me, making me look like a domestic beast of burden. Amber had said nothing to me but then of course, it had not been actual. We do not see each other often and moreover she did not know that it was you until she was introduced”.
Sam, in a released mood said, “Exactly, I did not know you were friends and that she was coming to the get-together. I was shocked when I saw her standing suddenly there.”
Bea, more at ease and stress-free, “Well, never mind, that was before my time. So, what she said about you was correct?”
Sam, “We had a couple of disagreements that alienated us from each other”
Bea, “Okay, let sleeping dogs lie”
Sam, “Let us rather support the life inside you. Let me help you with some juices, tea, or soft drinks, what will you prefer?”
Bea, “I have strong urge to ice cream, can you beat that”?
At the back of it, all was a passionate romanticism
Sam. “Okay, I will go buy some, what flavour do you want? Keep on with your aerobics; it will lower the risk of preeclampsia, pains of pregnancy, constipation, and exhaustion”
Bea, “Ayaa! Doctor, any taste, but preferable, strawberries”.
Sam, before she went outside, contended, reenergized and proud, said,” I have cautiously chosen you Bea. What made me to embark upon the work at the center was, with apprehension. I had known the proprietor for many years. He asked me to join them. I had constantly sought out a work that inspired and challenged me and absconded those who held me back. This work was not one of them”.
They were all at peace. Marriage life was usual.
After the birth of Bea`s first child
The child was born, a baby girl. They were both grown-ups but Bea was a little older. Sam had saved a little money of his own so he was prepared to give his baby girl a good start in life. There was, a special attachment to this baby they named, Felicia.
Before the baby was born it had already began getting to know Bea in the womb through the sound of her voice.
After the bay was, born, Bea played often around the baby girl looked often at her and stroke the back until the baby felt at ease. When she gazed at the baby, it looked back in return. She breastfed the baby. She took care of the baby until one day it shot her a toothless grin.
Bea treated Sam with the same amicable affectionateness, with which he had always treated her. They seemed rather happy.
Bea looked as cheerful, she laughed as jokily; she teased as cheerfully as though, she had taken a conclusive and with confidence a step in her life.
During the next few months, Bea saw little of Sam and her relations. He was supposedly working very hard. However, one day he invited Bea to a grand evening, with a sophisticated gathering where Bea became impressed by the splendour and classiness he provided for her gratification.
Sam complimented himself and he took all that concern from a purely unselfish motive of distracting Bea‘s mind from his unfortunate absenteeism from the center. He suggested they should go out and amuse themselves.
He knew a cozy place where they could sit and chat a little. Tolerably, Bea agreed and they went straight there to amuse themselves. The baby was with his mother who had volunteered to take care of it.
They gaggled out.
There were some armchairs where they could sit comfortably with their coffee. It was cozy but a little chilly.
Bea said amusingly to Sam, “We have each other so, and never mind the cold.”
Sam, shivering, “If you say so.”
Bea, “I was just joking”
Sam, “Okay, let`s go leave”
Bea, “All right”
They left the place.

After a couple of years
Bea found out that it was one side of him but it was the other side, which made him so interesting to her, the gentle gregarious side, and called Sam to have a chat with him.
One Saturday, in a comfortable chair, Bea called her husband to speak seriously, she said, “You know you have another side of you”
Sam, looking pensive, “Everybody had another side of themselves.”
Bea, “That is not what I am saying. I know that people have many sides of themselves, which is what makes people, human beings. What I mean is you should have an insight that can manifest itself, such as understanding how to solve difficult problems.
I know the other side of you. You are charming, caring and compassionate, but you are not a man who spoke and acted confidently. You know, a man can be, easily defeated by the world.
You should not be, taken down by circumstances within your control; you must surrender to fate when necessary, but must not surrender to fear”.
Sam, “Well spoken, you still remember the other day. I did not know it bordered you so much. By the way, where did you learn to speak like that?
Bea, “Just what do you mean learn to speak like that?”
Sam, “I was just teasing you”
Bea, “Do not tease me, I am serious”.
Sam, “I will do whatever, you say. I thought I had said that before.”
Bea, “Yes but you are not implementing it”
Sam, “Yeah what now?”
Bea, “The other day when we went out, it was chilly in there. I was freezing but when I said we had each other, you accepted what I said without even asking the waiter to turn on the electric warmer. We were both freezing. I saw the waiter stirring at us. You saw him too but you just beamed at him whilst we were freezing”.
Sam, “Oh, I see. I didn’t think of it”
Bea, “That is what I mean. You know perfectly well, what I what I am saying. You know a lot. Of course, but you were preoccupied with something, I could see it in your eyes, but you could have asked the waiter to put the heater on. I guess you were engrossed by me.”
Sam, “Naturally.”
Bea, “Liar and a prevaricator.”
Sam, “What does that mean Shakespeare?
Bea, “A person who speaks, and avoiding the precise truth; quibbler; equivocator”.
Sam, “Ja wohl Shakespeare”
Bea, “And what does that mean?”
Sam, “Shakespeare or Ja wohl? That English writer you know, but JA wohl is German”.
Bea, “But what does that mean?”
Sam, “It means all right”
Bea, “Goethe”
Sam, “Grinning contently and saying, what?”
Bea, “You men Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, he was a German with unpredictable education when he was young but managed to understand Greek, Latin, French, and Italian by the age of eight and later wrote decorative poems and lyrics”.
Sam, “Cleaver woman”

One sunny day
Bea and Sam had taken time, as the weather was coherent and the trees were in full greenery. The baby was growing and Sam took her to swimming. She was a child who often wanted to be the center of everything. She was funny and loved singing.
Bea, “I have been seeing quite a lot of them, Felicia and Sam together. They are very happy together. Sam seems devoted to her. His composure calms Felicia and despite anything to the contrary, has serenity that I am not conscious of and do no recollect in Sam”
Bea was satisfied with everything and her life.
They arranged with some friends to have an evening together. Bea and Sam knew some people at the center. Over time, the people at the center had talked quite a bit, mostly out of boredom to visit each other.
Plans were, made for Friday night. They made reservations to a restaurant. They met went to the restaurant, ate, had a little desert and went to a movie afterwards.
At the movies Sam thought he held Bea`s hand and kissed Nancy on the lips. He later found out the truth but he was sure that Bea was unaware so, he did not reconcile.
A couple of hours later, they all returned to Bea`s and Sam`s house.
Sam smiled cunningly and left the sitting room. A moment later, Nancy, of the invitees signaled Sam to join him in the kitchen. Nancy whispered in Sam`s ear. Sam joined Nancy in the kitchen.
Bea was aware of their triangular plan. She waited for about ten minutes, walked to the kitchen and saw Sam in the arms of Nancy making love.
Closing the door quietly, Bea went to fetch Felicia, gathered some few things and left. It was, precisely a repetition of what, her deceased sister, Felicia did to her, when she was, caught with Kester making love.
She said to herself, “That is what I have been telling him all along, to be a man.”
Bea had forgotten that, “the evil that man do leaves after them”. She had forgotten what she did to her sister Felicia, which led to her death.

Bea deserted Sam after the episode
A woman, who for some few months ago, was budding with happiness and contended with everything, had now almost given up the hope of marrying again.
Nancy was an employee at the center, she was married when Bea was employed there but was now divorced. Sam was mindful that Nancy was free on the market. What occurred at the movie was not premeditated; He categorically thought it was Bea. He did not tell Bea because he thought it would more damage than good.
Bea had almost given up hope when she went bulging through the kitchen door, looking flushed and out of breath, she stood at the far side of the hall, glancing. She stiffened her grasp, tightened her teeth, pushed out her small-determined jawbone and made up her mind.
Her eyes set alight, and she walked directly across the hall, to the outside door with a faint ironical smile and called a minicab. She had finally left Samuel. She went back to her old apartment on the hill with Felicia.
Later, she went to Amber and blurted out:” Well, I must say, you were right all along, but why haven`t you told me before, you knew him both of you were once lovers?”
Amber, “But Bea, what should I say. I do not often see you. I only see you when there are menfolk involved. But I can tell you this, he`s bad news, no good. Oh yes, without doubt.”
Bea, relaxed and liberated, “How can you say he`s bad news, you knew him long time ago, he might have changed”
Amber, “Oh no, such menfolk never change. They are, addicted to their character, some menfolk can never change”
Bea, “You must have known him very well.”
Amber, “Yes I did. Apropos, It`s nice for you to visit me. It`s equally nice to see you. You look peaceful. Did you come to talk about problems or what? Anyway it has been a long time since you bushed me out of your house”.
Bea, “Oh Amber do not say that I pushed you, I ordered you out, yes I did and I am very sorry. I should have listened more to what you were to saying but newlywed women back their husbands because that is what the vows request. However, I am very regretful but I learnt the hard way”
Amber, “Sit down; sit down, what do want to drink?”
Bea, “Nothing, just let`s talk.”
Amber, “You sound very serious now, has something happened. Are you fighting about me?”
Bea, “You are almost right but not about you and we did not fight. I have left him because of a girl, one at the center”
Amber, “Do you mean Nancy?”
Bea, “Oh no, you are acquainted with that name?”
Amber said, “She is another real devil. They generally end up breaking some poor woman`s heart, may be, even two or three hearts for that matter. Why do you think I left him? He did the same thing to me, and you know what, with Nancy?”
The whole thing happened to repeat itself “the bane of life- nemesis”
Bea, “I have left him”
Amber, “That is really a good news; I mean a good news and the best news I have heard in years”
Bea, “Was he really that bad?”
Amber, “Not bad, worse. He is a precocious man but his precocity is, used in womanizing, a silent womanizer a philanderer. Philandrists is what they call them”.
Bea and Amber sat down and chattered about old days and menfolk. Bea decided that it was her third husband and never would she marry again. Amber had made up her mind never to be web.
Amber, “If you really love someone, you do not have to be married to prove it. It is a bourgeois institution meant to enslave people. Imagine how precarious and chancy it looks.
A person one had never perceived before suddenly becomes a controlling master or mistress in your life, to dictate, your life; It really looks rather ridiculous, a sort of organized bondage instituted by society. That is why religious marriages are preferable. At least people congregate and by doing so people happen to know each other.
The only drawback is, one has to attend church, and not all people are in favour of that because we all have our philosophies and dogmas. Some people are, Christians but there are, plentiful amount of deleterious, reasons and annotations that people give when they talk about Jesus. Nobody in reality elucidates why people have faith in Jesus Christ as the son of God who came, died for the sins of human beings and rose again.
The essential nature of things are unknown and human knowledge is limited to experience. That is why Christianity should be, thought at our earliest infancy to settle in us, without discussion. If not it becomes difficult for grown-ups to grasp and understand Christian teachings. There are alternative expressions, such as, disbeliever, skeptic, secularist, pagan, heathen that further complicate religion.
People keep on searching and searching because they know there is something. Others hold that the existence of God, and the vital nature of things are mysterious and enigmatic, and a human understanding is inadequate to experience. I guess people are on their own to choose in whatever they belief in. Thus, some will attend church others will not. Those who attend church have the privilege in perhaps happier marriages than non-attendants do.
After all it is just a piece of paper, is it not fearful? Moreover, there are fewer marriageable men and women who do not marry have alternative to climb the career ladder and support themselves.
Nowadays, an unmarried woman can raise children which is not her own. It is, accepted by society. Women can raise a family, foster, help some kids to grow, become the nurturer of our social order. She can run charities and society will not despise her but benefit from her kind of mothering”
Bea, “Very eloquently said Amber, I do understand you perfectly, I can see, woman have abundant of choices”
Bea and Amber chattered for a while, it was time for her to get back home. In actuality, Amber was a little older than Bea was. She was a lot like a little mommy. Certainly she had inherited her mother`s wisdom and sense of humor as well as her intelligence and thoughtful nature.
Bea was content simply to be in each other`s company, knowing that they did not always had to meet, no matter if there were long intervals between visits, each was always welcome and they do not have to make compulsory conversation.
Bea acknowledged, knowing that what Amber had said was the truth.
“Well I will have a better fluke one day, I promise. She said with genuine feeling. “And I promise I will be a better wife, I really will. Like they say knowledge speaks wisdom listens, and giving up my marriage does not mean I am feeble sometimes it means that one is resilient enough to let go”
All the anxieties were wiped off Bea`s face and she laughed fresh-facedly.

Bea at home by herself and her child
The scintillating future she had planned for her daughter Felicia engaged her mind most of the time. She was discovering ways to improve the child`s consciousness. Apart from providing Felicia with the best of the whole shebang within her power, she gave Felicia the best of herself. She thought Felicia the appropriate human values, implanted in her a common sense of honour, responsibility and determination. She gave Felicia something else of immense value, a feeling of self-confidence. Felicia`s father had none.
Time passed since Bea moved from Sam
It has been quite a while since Bea moved from Sam. They had not seen each other for several months. Probably Sam was feeling guilty. Bea had not gone back for the rest of her belongings. She was so furious at Sam that she never wanted to see him again.
It was, not that she was angry for the love she had lost. No, she was happy to have left him. Bea thought, with these men, you will never know. They will always flip out eventually. The five years they had spent together was enough. He did not accept the consequences of being male; but allowed his energy to get stuck at the level of desires and re-channeled his sexual drive into other women`s pants, to gratify his subconscious drives, and exploded his lust through his genitals.
She simply absconded him for several months until one day.
Sam went to Beas house. He wanted to apologize and to visit her daughter Felicia.
Bea opened at the knock of the door. He was not expecting Sam. She flushed, grew uncomfortable under his motionless and analytical scrutiny of her. Bea was reluctant to let him in, let alone see Felicia. She had been calculating and planning to keep her from Sam. She had no desire to cast Felicia under the influence of her father and to be, entwined in discordances. It is much discussed how fathers need their daughters. It is true, but sometimes not sensible.
Sam expression was as if he could turn violent with the slightest vexation.
Striving to hide her fury, Bea stood up but turned her face away from Sam.
Bea, “Clearing her gullet she muttered, “Perhaps, you have to think of the child support. I think that is what you have come for”
Sam, turning his head around, “Yes, you guessed right”
Bea hurried out into her bedroom, cursing Sam under her breath, “You should have brought the rest of my belongings. You are, motorized, are you not? You caused all this havoc.”
Sam, looking distressed, “It`s true, you are quite on the right. It was very egoistic of me. I did not want it to happen and I have come to apologize”
Bea`s, face was grave, she was out of breath and panting, fuming, “You have to apologize to your crotch. You are very fortunate I am not tossing you out of my house. You seem very bothersome and I do not need any child sustenance from you anyway. I will overcome the situation myself; just get away from my house. You should have heard what Amber said about you”
Sam, “We do not have to be unfriends, we have a youngster together. We must unravel the problem in a cultured manner.”
Bea “It`s true but do you know the meaning of cultured, are you insinuating me? Do you mean I am uncivilized? Is it not you who is far-off?”
Sam, “Of course. Now you are being ridiculous. I do not mean to insult you; perhaps I chose the wrong word”
Bea, “Why? Then, chose the right words, you have been to school, haven`t you? I was not the one who enjoyed the higgledy-piggledy, you know, the topsy-turvy. Are you not even feeling guilty presenting your suffocating figure of yours here?”
Sam, “Now you are insulting me. I have ended it with her.”
Bea in a more relaxed mood, “What did you suspect an Olympic Medal around your neck? Should I present you a Gold Medal or Bronze? And what do I present to your crotch, Silver”
Sam, “No be, now you are being really ludicrous. Bea, you know I love only you and I was not looking to replace you”
Bea, “I know that a lot of men cheat to fill emotional and physical void in their lives. I will forgive you but the reliance would have to be, earned back over time. Just remember to be straightforward with me, and make sure you recognize my feelings too.”
Sam asked Bea if he could use the bathroom. Bea showed him the way. After Sam had gone, she began to apply her thinking cup.
She stood a little, tottering, and thinking that, perhaps she was naïvely taking Sam`s word that he had ended the affair. If she went back to him, she would have to continuously follow him from one place to another and check him.
She felt she had invested incredible amount of physic and emotions in him already. On the other hand, it was not fair to hit him repeatedly with guiltiness. She realized that it would take time for them to reconcile.
Bea speculated if it was Sam`s pattern of behavior and pondered about what Amber said, that he was no good; or perhaps it was a one-time affair, which would indicate that there was something wrong in the marriage. Perhaps, it was she who stopped paying attention to the relationship after Felicia was born. Perhaps it she who was no good.
Sam came back from the bathroom and sat down, looking tired. He was frequently tight-lipped, without self-confidence and apathetic, which had always been at the root of the distress between them, nevertheless, he had been able to express his affection for Felicia aloud, and with warmth.
Yet, with this limitless love for his child, there had to be self-restraint.

Bea, “Felicia missis that love of yours, it makes her at times impulsive. However, despite anything to the contrary she was not a rotted girl”.
Sam, “You are spoiling the girl, by the way where is she?”
Bea, “You have been here, say an hour, and you are now asking about her. Wasn’t it the first thing you should have asked”?
Sam, “I know she is in good hands”
Bea, “Stop flattering me, of course she is in good hands, she is with her Mom. She is asleep.”
Sam, “Can I see her?”
Bea stood up from her chair. “No,” she laughed ironically. “To be frank she is out with Amber. She likes the company of Amber.”
Sam stood very surprised “Are you seeing Amber, how be dam?”
Bea, “Why? Is anything wrong with that?”
Sam, “No. I was just thinking that you are no more friends”.
Bea, “Why would you think that?”
Sam, “Because of what happened in the gathering some time ago”
Bea, “That was a long time ago, we have reconciled”
Sam, “It is good you have reconciled, she is a good girlfriend to have. She was actually defending you on that occasion”
Bea, “Yes, I could see that but I was a little embarrassed. We are good friends, we had a wonderful time together the other day, and every minute was precious to both of us, we could hardly contain our excitements when we saw each other again”
Sam, “Have you got another job, now that you have resigned from the center?
Bea,” I do not dare seek for a job, because I adopt a more economical and parsimonious way of living”.
Sam, “All right as you wish”
Sam`s mother, Agatha`s advice
It was getting late and Bea had some things to patch up. It was simply not enough to say thank you to Sam, she had to give him a hug. She felt she had a terrible need to bring ease and comfort to her life. However, she did not need the child support from Sam and had to convince him that she could stand on her own two feet and overcome the financial needs. She was a hardworking, woman and at the back of her head, she knew Kester was there. She was also a forgiving person.
Sam asked her in a subdued voice, “Do you intend to leave me, permanently, or you will would come back soon?”
Bea`s forehead lifted but made as if she did not hear him.
Sam was still reminiscing about Bea thinking that there will be a re-union.
Bea did not answer but suddenly bid Sam goodbye. Sam stood aloof. Bea, hugged him, and stroke, his face; she went hurriedly to the streets to charter a minicab.
Sam was so sad; his voice was so low it was hardly audible. He wanted to drive Bea. She could not hear him, because he was unsure if he should drive her or not. Bea had not answered what, he asked her but then again he was inept, he should have spoken louder.
Bea was just putting up a show to verify if Sam had really changed and had regained his confidence, but none of that was, demonstrated. What Sam could have said would have made a devil of a difference. She was listening, walking to the highways, if Sam would yell. Every, man would have asked to drive his spouse if they were motorized, but not Sam, he was too leaky. At least he could have been inquisitive to find out where his child was. He knew where Amber lived.
“This man is not for me,” she concluded, reminiscing his attitude.
“Unfortunately, some men are like that” Bea said.
Bea kept telling him, he should beam, and giggle and sound more, absorbed in things and look betrothed about things, he should not be so indifferent, but it did not happen. Bea had spoken many times to him about this. All Sam usually said was that he could not think of anything to say.
Bea took, a minicab, Sam drove away
Sam, stood on the lawn of Bea`s house for a while. There was no one with him. He walked slowly to his car. He spent most of the blank hours driving around with a demolished and unreliably ecstatic anticipation.
He finally settled home. The depressed days passed without respite and he felt heavyhearted. He could only unveil his problems to his mother but was not motivated to do so. It was pathetic.
Sam ultimately went to her mother.
He asked, “Why her mother, why me?”
His mother answered, “You have brought down your own downfall. It seems rather strange that you should talk about your problems with me now, long time after the separation. You can gain nothing good if you do not discuss your problems with me as they come. You can keep on blaming yourself today and tomorrow. Nothing will come out it. You should rather regroup yourself and find another woman. I imagine, quite correctly, that such intelligence as you own would be, more correctly employed. That woman is not coming back”
Sam humiliated, “Yes, mother, I will take hold of myself from now on”
Gradually the circumstances which had led to their separation was, totally blotted out of Sam`s mind. He had not been able to grasp until he assimilated lucidity in his mind. He really and sincerely promised his mother to become a good son and find another spouse.

Chapter 7

Unforeseen rendezvous with Kester

In an automobile, Bea was travelling from her house to the municipalities. She had gone to the Shopping Mall to shop. The car driver stopped and she observed intently in the skies; unexpectedly the whitish light of a squelchy sun gushed out in the middle of the gloomy, enlarged and puffed out clouds, and she thought for crazy moments that she had seen the heavens opened.
A violent windstorm was gusting and she was out alone. She was, driven by anxious desire to escape from town. Shaking violently, she was convinced that she was going to be down for the count. The minicab driver was driving to another direction. Bea had to take a refuge. There was a restaurant nearby. She ran as quickly as her legs could carry her towards the restaurant. A man grabbed her by the arms, guess who? It was Kester.

Kester meeting Bea at the most unthinkable place

Kester, “What a coincidental surprise?”
It was in the loneliness of night that his conscience reminded him of Bea. It was hard for him to be sure of his own real motives with Bea. Probably if it had not been the bad weather, they would not have met and something else would have risen
His job provided plenty of reasons for him to roam about. It also offered him an escape from the incessant internal strife between himself and his wife nowadays when they spent time together.
Decent communiqué was the footing of a durable matrimony. His wife hardly yakked. She was a discreet sort of a woman who never articulated her wrath but starred rather at entities.
There were days on which it seemed to him that his home life was disintegrating all at once, on the other hand he was never at home.
Kester loved his children deeply. There were times when he realized they were the reasons his marriage had lasted so long.
Kester was, not prepared for meeting Bea, what he did not want from Bea was, to be, treated with a mixture of unresponsiveness. However, Bea was enthusiastic with eagerness and happiness when Kester suddenly appeared from nowhere.
There was a lot happening in Bea`s life. The need to communicate was life to her. To her, everything was exciting and good, and the few things, which were, not were, scrubbed, aside and quickly forgotten.
Bea found herself near tears of joy. Once again she was, saved by her knight, this time from nowhere.
She realized that the past five years she had not seen Kester had meant something so great and had touched her psychic life, and that everything in her that mattered was to ascent or die. It was to ascent so; she swayed herself and danced cheerily to the merriment of the gathering in the restaurant. They gave a round of applause. Kester, who had no idea that Bea could dance, became cataleptic. After the dancing, Bea sat down and chattered with Kester.
Bea, catching her breath, “What are you doing here in this remote place?”
Kester looking surprised, “What are you doing here and why are you traveling in such a bad weather?”
Bea, “I asked first”
Kester, “I was on a project and got caught in the bad weather. I decided to wait until the weather had cleared. It was my intention to come by your house. The last time we were together was at the correction center. This was five years ago. How are you and how are you faring?”
Bea, “Hmm It is a long story. I wonder if you have time to listen.”
Kester, “We can stay here the whole day”
Bea, “It all started five years ago, at the center after you left. There was this man, the sub-director of the center…”
Kester interrupted “Oh! Him, I remember”
Bea, “Let me finish. We happened to fall in love with each other. I was very lonesome and as lonely, as I was, I became crazy and perplexed by many conflicting situations. My general conscious awareness began to deceive me. I thought there was no harm in having a confidante, why not. We ultimately got married, and had a baby girl, I named after your wife, my late sister Felicia, but we divorced after five years because he violated our accepted standards of rules. He was a dirty fighter, unfaithful to me. His cheating and betrayal caught up with him. The fact is, nobody can be cognizant completely of a spouse and I mean nobody
Kester, “Okay.” can, possess every single knowledge or any information about a spouse completely.
Now, I am all alone on the market. I was feeling lonely and wanted to get away from all of it and winded up here.”
Kester, “That was a long story cut short, and a sad one. Why did you not let me know?”
Bea, “You have children and you have to give them good schooling. Moreover you have a new wife”
Kester, “Yes the children have been put to good schools around the country. They are all thriving well. To be frank, my new wife is fine but I am barely home because of work”
Bea, “But today, we will stay together”
Kester, “Where is your daughter?”
Bea, “She is with a friend”

Kester at home with Bea
Kester drove home with Bea after their encounter with the weather.
Bea, “I am often regretful that you should live very far from me”
Kester, “You are completely right. I should live nearer to you. It all seems such a waste of affection”.
Bea, “Yes, after five years of marriage, I certainly do feel that whatever the drawbacks of my present situation, I am at least enjoying life with you. At a certain point, I did not know what, I wanted to do and did not care except to get you back in my life. There is sunshine on the trees and flowers and birds are singing their melodious melodies. I feel as if somebody had pulled up my soul to see how it is budding. It is budding.”
In the next few hours, that stimulation dwelt in her fingertips.
Kester was well acquainted with Bea`s apartment. It was there everything began.
At Bea`s place, the bad weather began again. There was high wind that blew the rain against the windows and the sound was thunderous, very loud enough to cause hearing loss. It was extremely ominous.
Bea lay comfortably on the bed, covering her head and keeping herself warm. She pulled the covers over her head and listened to the rain dwindling. It was comforting because she felt herself drifting with her feelings, and loving the purposelessness of a sluggish day.
Suddenly, she stole a secrete look at Kester who was busily emerged in his work on the table.
Kester looked at her affectionately and said, “What are you grinning for. Is anything the matter”?
Bea`s eyes were flaming and flickering, she said, “Kester, I love you more than you have ever thought it was conceivable to love a man. You are my life and you are the whole reason for being.”
Kester, pondering and very meditative, “That was really, I mean surely nice of you, thanks a lot, for the beautiful and humane complement ,same to you”
Bea opening the cover over her head a little, with her eyes roaming, her breath quickened, said, “ It is one of the many times I have had with you, being alone together in an out-of-the-way house, which we for the second time have returned to when we need each other”
Kester, his face having inflections to indicate that he was tense at the moment and becoming aware of Bea`s eyes on him, said, “Hmmm!”
Bea looked at him and saw he was spotting every move she made. His eyes was, eroded and splashed with craving and passion for her love.
She was panting, her heart banging and rattling as she sat upright and curved her body in the direction of him.
Her lips were, soaked wet from her breath and dribble from her glands, released through her secretory organs.
Kester groaned as his visible part of his oral cavity made contact with her build.
Her fleshy folds of tissue surrounding her mouth lingered lovingly on him. At that particular moment, her emotion belonged entirely to him.
He clamped together his fingers from one place of her body to another in a firm hold. He groaned, uttering his pleasure, and held her against the bed. He yanked of her short underpants from underneath her short skirt, leaned down, buried his face in her inner thigh, and kissed her passionately.
In the meantime, the pouring of rain outside had become heavy. They could hear that the gushing and the flooding of rainwater, had momentum. It was really oozing and the windows began to wobble.
Neither of them was concerned.
Kester was on top of her, floating and moving over her and kindling and igniting each other. He kissed her down the length of her body. Kester howling out, “I need all of you for myself.” He was precisely in a habitation where his sentiment was.
They held to each other tightly and tenaciously. In addition with distinct, desperateness, and were, welded together.
Suddenly the thunderous rain stopped. All what they could hear was the outpouring of the overflow the flood had caused. And amidst all these, he heard Bea yelling loudly, “I love you and I can`t be without you”
She lay motionless with her head on Kester`s shoulders. She looked at Kester and said, “I hope this never ends”, her eyes gushed and brimmed, her sobbing overflowed.
Each of them satisfied the other.
Bea asked smilingly, “But we are, in love and involved intimately, Why don`t we ever go out?”
Kester, “We are involved in an extremely clandestine affair. I guess we do not want to be seen”
Bea, “Don’t you want to be seen with me?
Kester, “I thought it is you who does not want people to see us”
Bea, “No, Kester, you thought wrong, I want to be seen with you, I am completely yours. You know that, Kester”
Kester, “Okay, we shall go out for a good supper when the weather clears up”
Bea, “Aya! Sir Captain”. She was making some erotic signs with her legs.
Kester, “What are you doing?”
Bea, “Nothing, darling”, swinging her legs to the floor, “I am just admiring you”
Kester, “Aha!” He bellowed and eyed her, “In that case, if you so admire me, let us enjoy another sweet fling on this quiet day, or do you have any suggestions? What better things is there to do than to make love?”
Bea, “Do you have to ask? Why don’t you just do it”?
However, Bea leaned into him and kissed him on his lips. He held her in his arms. He looked at her and watched the play of light on her face. He loved her very much.
Kester at the Restaurant and Bea`s horrible story
Hours passed and the ferocious rain had stopped. A sudden unique and a delightful moon shone in the skies, filling everybody with joy and delight.
They were starving so Bea suggested that there was no food in the house, they should go out and eat. It delighted Kester.
Bea, “Where should we go?”
Kester, “Just make yourself ready and follow me. You know I am a businessman, we know places”.
Bea, “Just give me ten minutes or so, I will be right back”
Kester drove to a place Bea had never been before, an exotic restaurant with culinary foodstuffs.
They sat down on outlandish soft cushions. They ordered their food after having viewed through the menu.
Wonderful delicious meals emerged from the amazing kitchen prepared by a gourmet cook, a person devoted to refined sensuous good food, a gastronome.
Crystal dishes were scattered across some round tables, for anyone to bite on who wished. Kester had ordered beef, medium and Bea had ordered mutton roasts. All had characteristic mouth-watering tastes. The owner of the restaurant was continually coming up with something extra special to lure their appetites.
They had a potato dish flavored with chopped fried onions and mushrooms sprinkled with lime. It was culinary indeed. They were, served with a glistening, ice-cold champagne.
When they finished their meals, they sat down in the adjoining room where it was comfortable to chat, with coffee and pancakes smeared with strawberry ice cream, sprinkled with cognac. It was indeed a delicious meal.
As they sat chatting, a person in the restaurant made Bea to recall an escapade she once experienced and wanted to unveil to Kester.
Kester, “It must be very attention-grabbing, I am with all ears”.
Bea, “I was sixteen-years old and very temperamental and superstitious”
Kester, “Go on”
Bea “I believed in supernaturalism. Some distance away from our parent`s home were some people who practiced occultism. I was very engrossed not because I really believed in them but I was very inquisitive”.
Kester, “What happened? I am, excited”
Bea, “I spent a lot of time peeping around their premises. One, day I strolled through a zigzagging path. I saw a bunch of people holding candles and melting them in a huge bow”
Kester, “Yes, go on”
Bea, “In my mind, I thought they were manufacturing candles for household purposes. I was interested and, for the fun of it, wanted to help them. I watched the area meticulously and saw some doll-like figures; I thought they were, poorly modeled because I was very exceptional in modeling figures from timber and practically anything”
Kester, “Why do you think fabricating candles is done in the woods and not in factories?”
Bea, “I did not know I was just a teen-ager I had no idea”
Kester, “What happened, did you ask them to participate”
Bea, “How did you know? I did. The group stared at me, observed my wear and allowed me to participate”
Kester, “Were you no afraid?”
Bea, “No, I was not; they thought I was one of the high priestess. Anyway, have you seen a teen ager being afraid before? You know we are very impulsive and unwary”
Kester, “Why did they think that you might be one of the priestess?”
Bea, “It was my naïve boldness, with which I contacted them. I did not know what it was. I categorically thought they were poor artists. There was something else about my wear”
Kester, “What happened?”
Bea, “The group handed me clumps of precast candles.”
Kester, “What did you do with them?”
Bea, “I sat down and modeled a master piece of beautiful, fine-looking figures, attractive and gorgeous doll figures after a couple of hours.”
Kester, “Were they that tolerant?”
Bea, “Yes, they were, and even amazed, thinking, it was a new voodoo teaching”
Kester, “What was going through your mind at that point?”
Bea “They placed me on a wooden chair and began to dance around me, clapping, praying, and thinking that they had indeed found a new version of their religion and that I was, the most confident priestess they had ever seen”
Kester, “Were you not afraid?”
Bea, “I thought they were some happy lucky people going about their business and dancing to amuse themselves because they were happy for the new models I created”
Kester, “Didn’t they speak to you or said at least thank you”?
Bea, “No, they, adored me and that was enough for me. Their spirits run high and they were in ecstasy. I was, flattered and joined them in the dancing”
Kester, “What did they say to you when you danced?”
Bea, “Nothing, in their ecstasy they even procured a chicken and slashed its throat as an offer to something”
Kester, “By now you should have been afraid”
Bea, “I was flabbergasted but honoured”
Kester, “Didn’t you know that they were practicing some kind of a religion and praying to a spirit that governed their universe?”
Bea, “No, I really thought, they thought that I had created some kind of a life force for them, defining a belief that nothing happened by chance”.
Kester, “Did you dance the whole time?”
Bea, her face was suddenly horrified, and touching her face with her hand, “You know what?”
Kester looking very anxious, “What?”
Bea, “Suddenly, I saw huge serpents, zigzading from a huge box behind them and into the crowd”
Kester, “What did you do?”
Bea, “I was frightened, became light-headed, but it stimulated them to belief that I was in a trance, in another world connecting with the spirit world”.
Kester, “Did you fall down, couldn’t you ran away?”
Bea, “The group had gathered around me analyzing my costume”
Kester, “For what?”
Bea, “ I was not very sure but the red clothing I had on, symbolized love, my yellow handbag symbolized good health, my white shoe symbolized positive energy and good, Karma and my purple sunhat symbolized spirituality. They found almost all of their symbols on me”
Kester, “Poor, poor thing, that was a venture, a dreadful one”.
Bea, “It was getting late and my siblings searched for me and knowing that I was inquisitive about the sect, strolled hurriedly to the place and liberated me”
Kester, “That`s funny, Felicia never told the story to me. Anyway how did they rescue you?”
Bea, “Felicia disguised herself as one of them. She painted her face with some white symbols, went to the crowd, held me in her arms and walked away”
Kester, “Just like that”
Bea, “Yes, just like that. They stood and watched us leaving”
Kester, “That was such an amazing, in a way, exciting story I have ever heard. Why have you not told it before? It is tantalizing”
Bea, “I have nearly forgotten it, that man sitting over there reminded me of the incident”
Kester, “Why that man?”
Bea, “He reminds me of one of them”
Kester, “Bea, thank you for telling me, it is an educative knowledge”
They went home after Bea`s fantastic story.

Bea and Kester visit sugar cane plantation

Kester slept at Bes place and the next morning they walked to the sugar cane plantation the siblings parent`s had left them. The siblings’ inheritance. Felicia, Kester wife was in charge but she had left them. The second born was also deceased.
Elizabeth and Bea were the only people left to drive the sugar cane plantation to life again. Kester was interested because he saw the farm had a future.
Bea was in good spirits and happier. She was not working at the correctional center and wanted to revitalize the sugar cane farm.
The farm was huge and was located just across the road, some four hundred meters from Bea`s house. It was located very near a highway.
The sugar cane farm had a source of water; it was on many acres of land. The sugar cane grew next to water. It could grow up to long heights.
Kester, “How do you cultivate sugar cane?”
Bea, “If the middle is broken off, leaving the bottom block in place, it will continue to grow”
Kester, “You mean it is that easy to grow them”
Bea, “Yes, it makes sugar cane easy to farm because, you don’t need to replant if you harvest carefully. But must be, planted on dirt lumps, next to water”.
Kester, “I see, you have some knowledge about the farm, tell me more”
Bea, “Yes I do. Sugarcane is a recurrent tropical grass. You plant one-meter lengths of stems horizontally in the earth. New roots and shoots are, redeveloped each year from nodal bands. The first year’s crop is, called “plant cane” and is, harvested a year or extra after implanting. In subsequent years, “ratoon crops” are, harvested from the regrowth”
Kester, “How come you know so much about the crop”
Bea, “I was born in it, all of us, I mean all the siblings. Do you know what you can make out of sugar cane?”
Kester, “yes, sugar”
Bea, “It is not only sugar. The stalks are, crushed to extract juice. It is, then cooked and vaporized to produce a concentrated sweet dense liquid from which sugar particles form”.
Kester, “But I said sugar”
Bea, “But you did not know how it is processed and neither do you about its byproducts”
Kester, “And what are they?”
Bea, “The byproducts are two, molasses and bagasse. Molasses is a dense syrup from which no more sugar can be, gained and is, used as a livestock feedstuff or is, fermented into gasoline alcohol or stimulating drinks”
Kester, “I did not know that”
Bea, “Wait, I am not finished. The other bi-product is bagasse. It is the fiber component remaining after the juice is, conveyed. They burn them and use the vapor to power their grinder equipment and produce electricity. Left over bagasse is, used in manufacturing fiber merchandises”.
Kester, “How knowledgeable you are; my staying here has been very rewarding and educative indeed.”
Kester stayed for a week and left to his business.

Bea is with Amber, chit chatting about life

Bee stood looking out to say farewell to Kester, aware of the reluctance to leave her loving and cheerful Kester to return to his daily life‘s gloominess. It occurred to her that she had had similar feelings at other times before. The worse one was when she was at college.

She thought if she were honest, it was not the sadness she minded so much, but the mental pressures. There were times when the tensions and pressures of her daily life, unrelenting as they were, never bothered her. Nowadays they do and she had to force herself consciously, to meet them. She had a good time and wished Kester would stay forever.
Slowly, she said, “I am, standing here by myself, waiting, for the unknown, and admiring the farmstead. All at once, I thought of the infinite, time I have to spend by myself, and the endless kilometers lying between my place and Kester‘s.
To a certain extent I suddenly, began to miss him, it was like a tight aching in my chest, a terrible tightening. I felt very miserable and depressed, and I longed for him. On the other side, I did not mind where he was if only he was, under the same sky as me.
I started to yell out of emotional pain. I never rumored of anyone in the same consistent manner as I thought of Kester and think about now. When I reflect on Kester, which I over, and over, do at, the present time, I realize that all my anticipations of my future are, affixed on him.
It is upon him that my chances of surviving in this ecosphere in the future, yet to come, be, influenced by. However, I will not go into melodramatic minutiae of the hazards I am hemmed in with, which will only make me unconsciously disheartened”
Bea had known Kester all her life and suddenly she had the feeling that he had escaped her like one trying to catch a fish with the bear hands. She was very much in love with him.

Amber unexpectedly appeared

Amber, “Good afternoon, has Kester gone?”
Bea, sobbing, “Yes he has gone”
Amber, “Why this howling, do you miss him that much”?
Bea, “Yes, I love him”
Amber, “It is merely a physical attraction. You know that the best way to overcome that desire is to satisfy it and you have done that or?”
Bea, little acerbic, “It`s not merely physical. You often think you know a great deal more than I do. There is only one way a woman can hold a man.
Amber, “What is it, desire for sex or materialism?”
Bea, “What are you trying to imply?”
Amber, “Don`t get me wrong, there can be desires without love. You may think it is love but mostly, it is your yearn for company because of lack of self-confidence. You desire him because it is the natural consequence of sexual instinct. Perhaps your sexual instinct has become a habit. Desire is the feeling that accompanies an unsatisfied state, an inclination to want things. You have to see him, it`s all in your brain when the time and the place are favorable. You were no thinking of meeting him when you went out there. You happened to meet him coincidentally. That was not a desirous act.
Bea, “You may be right, but my love endures after desire is dead.”
Amber, “You are talking about fondness, sympathy, devotion, and routine. Just like the Pavlov dog, of behaviorism. People, can quantity, train, and alter their behaviours. Human beings can choose their own autonomy and purpose and for that matter, desires. If a student is, bullied at school, they associate school with fear. If the student is, hailed at school, they associate school with pleasure”.
Bea, “Well said, but where did you learn all these?”
Amber, “I read a lot and at least I am an educated lady. Moreover, I get around and keep my eyes open. I do pick up bits of extra information here and there”
Bea, “So, you mean, I can learn to put him out of my mind, at least for now and go on with my life?”
Amber, “Imagine he had not existed, what would you have done?”
Bea, “But he exists, that is the status quo”
Amber, “Women are always blissful, reassured and eager to listen when the subject love is being discussed, but Critics say that sexual instinct has nothing to do with love. It is a momentary flow of stimulus; they say it is epiphenomenon, I mean a secondary occurrence, a byproduct of another thing”
Bea, “How, come you know so much but still single?”
Amber, “I have already told you why, have you forgotten?”
Bea, “No, I have not, it wasn’t long time ago”
Amber, “How do you feel now?”
Bea, “Liberated from the angst that I cannot make it alone”
Amber, “You see, it is healthy to chat with women from time to time. When you are unhappy, or want instant satisfaction and recompense for all the aching and sorrow.
However, get a grip of yourself and know that there is no shortcut to wooing; things take time, so you must not act intolerantly or desperately. No matter what your heart says, you must hold back a bit for your own good”.
Bea, “Okay, what should I say, it is good to have you”

Amber, “I just want to help you stop making mistakes and get the man of your dreams. You have been married thrice already and you have a lover. You need help. Communicate with other women, strengthen the relations with people surrounding you and improve many facets of your life. I know that life is not always smooth and not all the relationships have successful conclusions. You know that already. People usually are stuck if they do not find solutions to their relationship. You have lived through this thrice already. I am not an expert but you need some useful advice from someone experienced and perhaps some guidance from spiritual world.”
Bea, meditatively said, “Thanks ever so much. I have heard and assimilated all that you have taken your time to tell me. I know all these already, perhaps I am too obstinate to acknowledge my mistakes, and perhaps I am pigheaded.”
Amber, “I am happy you recognize that yourself, so do something sensible about it.”
Bea, “Yes, I am stubborn and wrong, at least I know it.”
Amber, “Right you are I dare not say it.”
Bea, “I will surely change.”
Amber, “I think Felicia is awake now.”
Bea, “Yes she is she must be hungry now. I have some hamburger sandwich in the fridge.”
Amber, “I hope she likes it. I gave her hamburger with an extra salad but she did not bother. She was rather inflexible at first, but I ran on, in my simple naïve way, making faces and joked. When she saw my eyelids trembled with disappointments, she warmed up. After that, we had quite a pleasant chat. She caressed my hand when she saw I was not irritated and she was happy by my gregariousness”
Bea, “I know, mother’s food is always the best.”
Amber, “All these are burdens for women, why can`t men have the same burden?
Bea, “Of giving hamburgers or taking care of children?”

Amber, “Of taking care of children, but I often wonder how fathers ‘are with their children?”
Bea, Hmm! “Sam, my former husband was very ardent in taking care of Felicia. I usually sat down and watched them. Sam was very interested in his child. He played with her continuously and, she could recognize if Sam was not present in the house. He had a different association with the child, an emotional contact different from mine. The child could feel his scent. Sam usually played with it before he picked her up, and he communicated with an altered voice. I handled Felicia differently than he did, not better or worse but differently. Whenever he was alone with the child, she became more vigorous and active”
Amber, “Yeah, then you really observed them.”
Bea, “Yes, I did.”
Amber, “Don`t you miss him?”
Bea, “Who, him, are you crazy? What in God`s name are you asking that question?”
Amber, “Who, me? I dare say he is still in love with you?”
Bea, “Yes, I know, he was here some time ago, but I am not going back to him. Once bitten twice shy.”

Amber left Bea

Amber, took a minicab home, she had been busy taking care of Felicia, Bea`s daughter for a whole week.
Well the summer wore on. Amber worked like a demon. She had been working for nine to ten hours. She was a hairdresser. Amber did not only cut hair she also changed people’s lives and made them feel good about themselves. She had, been trained in beauty styling techniques. It included manicures, pedicures and skin treatments. She also counseled clients on proper hair and skin care.
She never thought men were after her but it occurred to her, a man, another hairdresser had fallen in love with her. Her circle of acquaintances were not so restricted as Bea`s and she knew a number of menfolk whom she thought were objectionable, that man was one of them. She disliked the man but he kept on inviting her.
From her experience of a stormy past. When she suffered from the spasms of one-sided love, she instantaneously took a holiday. The man followed her everywhere until, she rebuked the man and she was neither pleased nor sorry. She thought she could take some weeks off, she had the notion that it would do her good to sort feelings and to come to terms with herself.
In spite of her intermittent meetings with some men her; lifestyle brought her peacefulness to the point that it averted her mind from marriage.
Amber, “Awareness is better than the expectation. It seems quite queer to think that the knight in shining armor sometime needs to be, saved. I have just returned from Bea advising her about affection, here I am with love problem and do not know how to tackle it.
People have, countless of terminologies, behaviors, semantic, emotions, etc. that illustrate and express our moment-to-moment experiences. Moreover, like the saying goes, Experience is not interesting until it begins to repeat itself – in fact, until it does that, it hardly is experience.
Accumulative experience either shuts one down or opens up one’s access to possible future experiences. It can be for the better or for worse.”
Amber had a small apartment but she was happy and content. It was a one-room apartment, uncannily quiet, beyond what is natural, and at times, it seemed the utmost limit of unhappy loneliness. She could have had a companion. However, no, not Amber, she was as resilient as an ox.
Her association with Sam, Bea`s former husband was short lived. It was, not faithlessness but ineffectiveness. She thought he was weak and without confidence, no self-reliance and that played a major role in their relationship. She had dated a couple of men in the same, category. She was, fed up to the neck with them. That led her break from Sam. She had, enough and did not want any manly figure to dictate her life or pull her down.
Late that day, back at work, Amber picked up a quarrel with the man over some futile trifle, and that ended the affair with him. He never burdened Amber again
Years passed
Felicia had grown. Bea was fully engaged in the sugar cane farm and selling portions of the land, and allotting portions to herself, Kester`s children and her sister Elizabeth`s children. Naturally, she allotted bigger shares to her own children. From her sister Felicia, three of her children had died. From her sister Elizabeth, one of her four children had died and from Bea`s six children one had died.
She loved Kester`s children and her own and she had always tried to walk a line between them, doing a harmonizing deed in a sense, making every effort not to take sides, not desiring to offended any one, but to gratify all.

Felicia`s Bea`s daughter`s marriage
Felicia had grown to be a woman. She asked her mother Bea, permission to get married.
Bea shook her head, frowned hard, and bit her lip, “No I don`t think is a good idea. You should rather wait”
Felicia found that she had to split herself in to two, sharing her feelings with her mom and spouse. Nevertheless, her admiration and deep affection for her husband to be, gushed up in her. Felicia stepped away from her mother, eyed her, swung around, and sat down on a stool at the veranda. A split second later she called the husband to be, hurried to the highway, took a car and left Bea. Felicia cared less about her Moms pronouncement. She would, marry the man of her choice and not the matter`s choice.
Bea`s motivation was, the man was not good-looking enough.
Since then, Bea had disregarded Felicia and her husband. She disliked them and never accepted their marriage

Chapter 8
Bea`s Fourth Matrimony
With Wilson

Who was this Wonder Man, Kester Reynolds?
Kester was concentrated on what he was going to do in his business he hardly ever had time to pause. He travelled to many countries, Germany, Antwerp, Israel, and Switzerland for business.
This man was well educated and a businessperson. He married Felicia when he was twenty-five years old.
He had a slightly tanned skin, which was, blended with his brown hair. Wide brown eyes brought out his natural handsomeness. He had macho and virile looks, pugnacious nose, demarcated cheekbones and pecan face. His eyes were adoring, obsessive and passionate, and wore classy clothes and earthly fragrance whirled around him. He was kindhearted, openhanded and liberal and a heart of gold.
One day as he was shaving, he found himself glaring into the mirror in the bathroom. It was a warm day in May. His daughter was graduating from the college. It was an important day for him so; he was speeding up to look at his best.
Kester found out that he had lost height, probably related to changes in his bones and muscles. He had reduced about two and a half centimeters in height. Wrinkles had occurred in areas of muscle contractions, his forehead and the vertical skin wrinkles between and around his eyes. The lines jutting from the corner of his eyes, crow’s feet, were deeper and due to smilling and squinting, the wrinkles had become permanent. He also noticed another feature, a beginning of a loose neck skin, turkey neck.
He attended the graduation anyway. After the graduation, he did not speak for so long a time and his wife began to find the silence awkward.
He was depressed and looked troubled by his altering corporeal appearance.
One day, his daughter, Anne who had just graduated from the college sat down with her father and said, “Don`t you want to live as long Methuselah, grandfather of Noah?”
Kester, “It is good asking me questions. Naturally, I would like to live longer but hopefully not like Methuselah. I was shocked to discover that I was getting old. Well, time flies and there are no secrets that does not reveal.”
Anne, “That`s the spirit” I observed that he spoke promptly attentive. His eyes grew on the alert and I thought I read in them something like worry. He was not himself. Then, he looked down so that I had no means of knowing how what I asked had affected him, but I had the notion that he was at once perplexed but calmed.”
Kester was proficient in forthright scrutiny of himself, and the continuing, if unenthusiastic, endorsement of realistic truths.
For the next few weeks, Kester worked laboriously in his corporate like a sleepwalker. He was, no more frozen with fear of getting old. His hopefulness resumed.
His relationship with Bea had not changed. After thirty- five years together, they were, acclimatized and adjusted to each other. It was a continuing acqintance although they did not see each other often.
The first joy of relief was his yearning for Bea, which at first he was unable to blend in, began to acquire lucidity in his mind. He sought after. He was, therefore most attracted by the idea of sweet heart by his invading passion, which is still burning. He scheduled to visit her.
Bea was, nearing the end of her forties, it all appeared to have happened very long ago, and made Bea feel that she was already growing very old. Bea had not seen Kester for a long time, so, their strong emotional relationship had left an emptiness which not even the most intimated acquaintances could fill. So during those empty periods, she slowly but surely acquired a face and accepted the settled verdict that she was predestined for enduring aloneness.
She pressed into the inmost recesses of her thoughts the deep-rooted lingering recollections, just the one positive dream, the sweet expected coziness of a sincere and quick to respond friend, Amber, who had always been at her side whenever she wanted her.
At all events, it was unbearable to continue very long worried with the effect of passion when, there was still opportunity to be connubial again, whether camaraderie or otherwise, was there to be seized.
Bea desired friendship to live. If those social interactions were not, encountered she fell apart spiritually and bodily, creating high blood pressure, and even injuring her recollection owing to discomfort known as lonesomeness. It made her sad and hollow in her daily life. She felt isolated and longed for communication. Those feelings ripped apart her emotional well-being.
Bea is about to bump into her fourth husband
In the afternoon of May 5, Bea took her bicycle and rode off. It was a warm lovely day. She rode to the quiet scenes. The whole of that hot afternoon, she spent lying in the half-asleep of tormented delirium on a bench with twisted wire backs and legs along the riverside. They were not comfortable at all. She listened to the gurgle of the river as anxiously as though it were the guns.
As she lay quietly in her own thoughts, a body came by. She made as if she had not seen him.
The stranger said, “Hello lady.”
Bea, “I pretended I did not hear him.”
The stranger, repeated, “Lady I said hello.”
Bea, “Oh sorry, are you talking to me?”
The stranger, “Yes, I was saying hello to you.”
Bea, “Ya, hello.” She looks up and said, “Have a seat but be careful of the twisted wire backs.”
The stranger, “Gee! Thanks lady.”
He went and sat on the bench beside her.
He laughed slightly, “By the way my name is Wilson, what is yours?” Stretching his hands to great Bea
Bea, giggled, “Mine is Beatrice, my friends call me Bea”
Wilson, “Do you come here often?”
Bea, “No actually this is my first time”
Wilson, “What made you come here today?”
Bea, “I really, do not know, fate may be”
Wilson, “What made you say that?”
Bea, “What should I say?”
They gossiped about domesticated animals, journeys, movie theaters and cooking, favourite holiday resorts, Hollywood celebrity gossip, shoes, clothes, fashion, make-ups relationships and men. It was the first time Bea had such an all-round discussion. She appreciated and valued it. When Wilson first addressed her, she thought he was ill mannered and vulgar but there was nothing cheeky in his manner.
Wilson, “Did you know that an animal, be it a cat or a horse are usually kept by people as work animals, food source or pet?”
Bea, “No, I did not think houses are included. I thought they are only dogs and cats”
Wilson, “Oh! No. They are many, goats sheep’, pigs and so on .They have gone through selective breeding making them different from their wild ancestors. Some of them are impossible to domesticate, for instance zebra. Tigers, Lions and other big cats are not included. It will take many hundred years to domesticate them. Society may not have good use for them. They will be too costly. For instance, dogs domesticate themselves”.
Bea, “I do not think they will make good pets anyway and I am afraid of them.”
Bea, “Wilson, what kind of shoes are you wearing, I presume it is leather, and since we are on the subject, did you know that animal skin is made up of three layers and it is only the middle layer that is used when making leather?”
Wilson, “No, I did not know”
Bea, “Do you know what animal produces the best leather?”
Wilson, “Okay tell me?
Bea, “There are about seventeen goods ones but Alligator and Crocodile skins are the best in durability”
Wilson, “Okay, now I know. Apropos, I have a brochure with me and I was looking for holiday destinations before I saw you. Where if you had the chance, would you like to travel?
Bea, “Oh I would like Paris. I would like to visit Champs Elysees, Avenue des Champs-Elysees”
Bea, “And you?”
Wilson, “Bangkok, I like something exotic and extraordinary. I would like to taste Cioppino Seafood stew. It is supposed to be, exotic”
Bea, “How did you hear of it?”
Wilson, “From people who have been there.”
Bea, “Do you like cooking and what is your favourite food?”
Wilson, “I am not good in cooking, I always burn the food, no, I rather not, but one day, I will learn. And what about you?”
Bea, “I am a good cook and have learn many recipes’ from around the world. I remember I visited a restaurant one evening and the chef even asked me to join them in cooking. They were even having a fashion show that evening”
Wilson, “So you can cook some exotic foods?”
Bea, “You bet. By the way do you like fashion stuffs or?”
Wilson, “Yes, I do, well can`t you see that I am fashionable?”
Bea, “But you are that is why I am asking. I do like designer cloths a lot, but they are nowadays too expensive to buy. Did you know one could study fashion designing if one has passion for it at the Art Institutes Systems of Schools?
Wilson” I did not, I often wondered where people studied the art”
Bea, “That has been the best discussion I have ever had. It is getting late and we shall continue. You can meet me here again tomorrow if you wish. We have more to hit on”
Wilson, “That will be fine with me; I will see you tomorrow; say at, will that be convenient?”
Bea, “That will be fine, cheerio”
The subsequent daybreak at
Bea was early; she was at the meeting point approximately 10 to 10 am. He arrived at sharp. He sat by the side of Bea, greeted her and initiated conversation. Wilson brought some pads, because they were more comfortable to sit on than the bear hard wood. He was a businessperson. He wore his designer cloth.
He was nice and kindly, intelligent fellow and seemed to take great fancy to Bea. They did not stay at the meeting point for long, say about ten minutes. He took Bea to a nice restaurant. It was thrill for Bea; she was, being, accustomed to restaurants. It made an impression on her.
It was not because of the restaurant, but the atmosphere, his gentility and kindness, the way and manner in which he handled to whole thing.
“He gave me a little smile and asked me what, I had been doing and I told him; he asked me where I lived and I answered,” Bea answered
Their conversation was a long one and Wilson narrated a great deal than she had wanted, but did not butt in him because his stories were very, thought provoking and tantalizing.
Bea, “Sorry I am butting in anyway. Do not think I am rude, but I do not grasp everything .You have touched on many multifaceted themes and have spoken on solemn things and I will work on them”.
Bea`s interest was directed towards her former life with the three husbands, Robert, John and Samuel. Naturally, Wilson did not know about that. She was equating them with him.
Although, he spoke of serious things quite unsurprisingly in relaxed tone, Bea was still missing to hear about his thoughts, beliefs, feelings with womenfolk, nowadays one could never know. If he could work together as a team with a woman and if a woman could be, given wings to glide.
Bea asked, “Do you respect, women?”
Wilson, “Yes, the same respect to her as she gives to me. Nevertheless, why are you asking this question? Have you seen any sign of disrespect?”
Bea,” Sorry, if I have given you the impression that there is anything debauched in your manner, the fault is mine. That is not what I meant. I just sought after your views on females as a whole. You see, Wilson, I have been married in the past. The menfolk I married did not convey to me about their daytime doings, drudgery, or associates, they generally hanged out with them without telling me and remained for hours. They were, furious and all out, when, asked about their doings, and were, unwilling to share their routine.”
Wilson listened attentively, “I do not like verbal abuses, neither. As a team, I sense, a couple should work collected, side by side, as a team to generate a home of their dreams, circumventing fabrications, mendacities, and ne’er-do-wells as these add to the insecurity and uncertainties of marriages”.
Bea, looking overjoyed and content said, “Well articulated, I can perceive that you are not a person that will speak down to women”
There was, silence, each one was speculative. Bea was thinking that she would not feel herself the biggest idiot if she were to marry him. She would not feel like the entire world would think she was stupid and thoughtless or something. She had only seen the man for two days, not even.
He was thinking he would be the luckiest man on earth if Bea were to respond positively to a proposal of marriage. He was also thinking he was senseless and vain thinking about matrimony after not as much as two days of meeting an unknown woman.
“Well”, Wilson said, “I think it is time to head to my parents, what do you think?”
Bea, “That will be nice; it has been a lovely meal and a lovely discussion once again. There are things I do not apprehend but you will make clear to me later, I presume”
Wilson drove Bea to his parents in his new Toyota.
At home, Wilson paused for an instant and threw Bea a quizzical fleeting look as if he was observing if she liked it there.
Wilson asked, “Do you like it her?”
Bea, “Yes, of course, do you want me to say no?
She said that with a laugh. She continued, “ As far as I am concerned, I can only say that the loving sense of harmony, happiness and tranquility that I am enjoying in this moment of ecstasy, gives me fresh impulses to envision the world`s exquisiteness when first my eyes are dazzled by it”.
Wilson, “So, you like it here?
Bea, “Yes, the environment is perfect, peaceful. I feel so happy that I am struggling to release myself out of it.”
Wilson paused and a blissful smile played on his lips. He looked at Bea pensively without talking.
Everyone was kind to Bea, his parents, and 2 sisters. They all sat down around their coffee table and chattered. They played games and the life exactly suited Bea. She enjoyed the quality of their hospitality that outshone the normal caring. She was contented.
Bea spent almost the whole day at Wilson`s place and was driven home.
Bea was somewhat confused; she did not know what she had done to arouse so much feeling in him. She was only admiring their home. May be she played up to something.

Bea, “I did no sleep that night. I was ambivalent. I was frightened and vexed with myself; my insecurities caught up with me. I was afraid to go in for a fourth marriage. I wondered if, it is because I marry for all the wide of the mark reasons, for good appearances, cash, safekeeping, reputation, kudos and so on. On the other hand, maybe I marry while the relationship is still in the euphoric and ecstatic stage and not waiting to see all moods, frame of minds, phases, nuances in mutual thoughts and ideas towards day-to-day matters, etc. Love is magnificent power to feel and experience, and yet, a dedicated relationship is maybe more than love.

To take two or three years to be acquainted with each other may seem like a lengthy time. Yet, when you contemplate on the number of years and even decades a couple might stay together, those three years is not that lengthy an outlay to put towards something so treasurable, the feeling, heart, true love. It is not just, love but genuine treasuring love.
Perhaps I have a poor knowledge of marriage. I may well think I will be blissfully and happy for the remainder of my life and I am too selfish to roll with the punches. As I have experienced already in my former marriages, both of us stopped trying to impress the other. We forget our vowels.
We turned asunder when the things got tough because we were too self-seeking to view things and solve things when we had tough times. Each of us wanted something, materialism, and if the other spouse did not agree, none of us was willing to comport to give a little. We ended up having our way, or the highway.
What added to the encounter of my collapses with my former partners was that I came up against my expectation that my marriage was, supposed to last forever, but then again not all relationships were supposed to last forever.
The purpose of relationship from a spiritual perspective was to serve as a mirror, to give us the chance to realize and patch up our problems, acquire life teachings, nurture our awareness and build-up ourselves to adore even more. On the other hand, a relationship had to end for people to pick up valued things in life. Mine has ended three times. One would be inclined to think I was a wicked and immoral, woman, Well, I was, not, possibly naïve. I had learnt a lot.
The speculations gave me a funny sort of feeling, as though somebody, had hold of my heartstrings, my deepest feelings of love and compassion and, was giving them a heave. At last, I said I would think about the whole thing. For the rest of the night I never thought of anything connected with Wilson”.
The next morning she worked on her own land, the sugar cane farm.
Only by putting distance between herself and Wilson could she ever hope to minimize any emotions that could develop between them. She was developing some weaknesses for him and she knew that she could never have the strength or the will to give him up. Only by preoccupying herself with hard work on the farm would she be unable to picture him.
The aching Bea felt, it was not too excessive a price to pay for the pinched moments here and now. In addition, she wanted all of the things she had always said she would want, a normal life, a good husband and dignity. Having married so many menfolk was the last straw.
Her life had at all times, been, constructed around Kester, her needs, her education, her work and her whole life and now, she wanted to create her own.
Bea was never really on her own.
She had only recently become friends with Wilson; they fancied each other almost immediately. However, that had caused her conjectures.
Concealed by the calm olive green of their new springtime leaves, the countless birds peeped tenderly on their twigs. That night Bea slept without thinking or dreaming of anything.
The next day Bea toiled on the farm. In spite of mud, filth and high temperature and rough operational environments, she worked laboriously of which the mere recollection now filled her with tiredness. She was, filled with a yearning for relief. If only they were, two on it. All her three sisters had died.
The memory of her sunlight months during her childhood still caused strange nostalgia to decent upon her spirit. She recollected the mockery by her mother at her birthday. However, in her recollection, Kester remained the knight with the shinning amour by which she came to life again. In fact, all her life she had been lonely and she had lived in the deepest depths of sorrow and abnegation. Nevertheless, the farm had become a shrine, the object of her existence and she must do well to enrich it.
When she thought of her siblings, she was, filled with yearning and regret and she cried in her heart for losing all of them.
The recollection of Bea`s sunlight months

“Like an endless pool, at home, the county lay in May, sunshine. The cheerful twisting wind of spring, scrubbed the sky, navy, and swept petty clouds away from the peaks.
The family lived in coherence and the coherent lifestyle made them feel themselves respectable.
Eileen was the second born of the four siblings. She was very religious and had Christian beliefs and her form of worship varied. Her devotion focused on tribute to the Almighty. She never married she was single, and remained so until she died.
Elizabeth, nicknamed, Eli, was number three of four. As I had already stipulated she was more of a nervous, but a serious type. She had, a hesitant speech, she was a stammer. She was very strict and authoritarian but very charismatic. Elizabeth married a prominent headmaster arranged by Felicia.
She had four children, one daughter and four boys. She died with hypertension and complication thereof.
Felicia was the oldest of the siblings and, I loved her very much. Felicia trusted me I was her right-hand. She could really count on me and that exemplified a good sisterhood. She was also like a mother to me. We worked through issues and disagreements without abandoning each other. She always stood by me in challenging times.
We spoke out our minds and in situations, which caused me distress, and followed Felicia everywhere she went, and whatever she undertook. Without her, there was no entry into the realm of reasonable standard of living. We attended gatherings and meetings together. We laughed, teased and played games together and more often than the other siblings play. We were, in fact seen so often enjoying ourselves that people thought we were Siamese twins. We resembled each other.
Felicia spoke to me with her mind, no words were necessary. We called it telepathy. Strangely, enough we also communicated with our limbs. How that functioned was anybody `s guess.
I was the youngest, I regularly fixed the house work for my older sister Felicia, launders he clothes as well as Kester`s and did the general cleaning for Felicia”.

Eyeing back at reminiscences- the water falls
“Quite why the waterfalls should have this effect upon me, I do not know. As usual, I was lonely, and I visited there in the deepest depth of my sorrow and I was escaping it. Nevertheless the enchantments remain. The place has become for me a monument. A place I must see often and often again.
The falls originate from a different river before falling over an igneous rock protuberance at the Boti concealed in the forest. It has a tantalizing past, with their astonishing grandeur and magnificence of the upper falls and lower falls and the remarkable meeting of the falls during rainy season when the volume of water is high, they are, and enhanced by a rainbow that is, formed by the flapping water.
Looking back through the years to the memory pictures of the cascades, of long stretches winding roads, through the dense forest, embedded in the heart of the forest, the umbrella rocks were astonishing and I was overjoyed. Take away my lawn on the hills, take away my flower garden, and give me back that lovely relaxed aloneness, with enchanted anonymity, those beautiful colours of the tranquillity, those warm glistening colours, those hours of dreaming in cool scented forest with droplets of water from the waterfalls trouncing softly and gently on my face and reminding me of life.
However, I know that those things will never come back. I may see the waterfalls again, I may smell the air with odoriferous odor, and watch the two real spectacular falls flowing majestically from the rooks above, and creating beautiful rainbow colours. The same atmosphere and scenery, I am afraid, will never come back”.

Bea coping with fourth Matrimony
To Wilson
Time passed like the wind of the desert and Bea`s marriage date with Wilson was, set. All conjectures and guess works about good partners and, bad partners were, put aside. Wilson was to be the privileged and the blessed one, the new knight with the lion.
Bea was, wed. They were together at, long last, and their conjugal life began in full splendour.
Bea provided her share out from infatuation and Wilson provided his out of love. All the same, he thought Bea was wildly in love with him. However, love could alter bit by bit and fascination could alter expeditiously. It was for fate to decide, a matter of time.
Bea became heavy with child, and gave birth to, a baby girl. Their lives were organized and scheduled to each other`s temperaments. Everything was well and glorious until one day.
The marriage that began with love and affection, with intense physical attraction was turning sour, in the middle of a raining season. Why in the raining season is nobody`s guess. Perhaps the wet weather carried with it gloomy mawkishness.
Their passion for each other cooled down considerably. Because they were both stubbornly and willfully argumentative. They were not able to throw each other kisses, or even say goodnight or good morning to each other, because that was their custom of affection earlier.
They slept with their backbones curved to each other and Wilson began to sleep in the guest room. They hardly conversed and they were amazingly vexed with each other.
They were frequently at loggerheads, expressing low opinions of each other and that took it`s toe on Wilson`s work. He turned into automaton and became so speculative that his weight began to abandon him. He had a rapid weight loss to such an extent that his co-workers thought he had an incurable disease, some kind of malignancy and they pleaded he should pay a visit to a physician.
Wilson was the sole person who knew about his own diagnosis and cure; naturally, he declined to pay a visit to be, examined by a physician, instead he requested for a sick leave.
His parents had not seen him for months and that gave them a warning signal that something was wide of the mark. He usually visited them fortnightly. He had, not been, with them for three months and they were apprehensive.
Wilson, the only son, declined to visit his family so, after several invitations and subpoenas without response, the family inquired his whereabouts.
They visited his workplace; the coworkers explained his physical attitudes and added that he was gravely sick and that he was on sick leave of absence. They suggested to the family, the need of family and hospital care.
The family received the news badly and advanced to their domicile, only to find a note, “We are in the moves, will come late-night”. This necessitated a search for Wilson in all the county`s hospitals, morgues and police stations. All these places, gave negative results. He was no, where to be found, neither was his spouse, Bea. At least they were, comforted by the fact that there was a message, signifying where they were. Each time they changed the message denoting that they were either at the movie theater, in the woodlands or away with acquaintances and comrades.
After repeated visits without response, they left the couple to their own providences.
The funniest thing was, they were both busy contributing in their downfall. They were vexed with each other fighting and belittling each other. Therefore, they both went their separate ways during evening hours and weekends. They were never at home together. They refused to meet face to face.
Both were very stubborn, strong-minded and independent, which was, part of, their problem. Each believed the other was wrong thus; they could not reconcile to put things right. They were unable to merge.
Wilson knew about Bea`s previous marriages and maintained that since he had never married he was inexperienced in antagonism and fighting’s and maintained that his opinions were always right contrary to Bea`s views because, she had married before and definitely they were disagreements and fighting’s.
Bea found that statement stupid and naïve and that presented more disagreements because she maintained that Wilson was a new- comer in marriages hence he had no experience in marital affairs. Thus, the couple was unable to make allowances for normal human weaknesses, fragilities and frailties.
Wilson had “neologism” he invented phrases and Bea had “archaism” she used archaic expressions.
Each really believed the other was wrong in all aspects, and therefore at fault. It could, have helped, if one had given way, but which one? They were equally headstrong and spot on so, nothing could lessen the tension between them.
Bea, who had experienced the circumstances three times, had not obviously learnt from them and maintained that “this” Wilson was categorically and without question, different from the others, and therefore could not understand him. On the other hand, Wilson, who had lectured Bea on many subjects and on many topics on the bench, in the restaurant and at his parent`s home when they first met, meant he knew better and that Bea had not learnt from her blunders and slip-ups from her previous marriages.
Bea was subjectively very strong by emotions as well as commanding. She was ready to abandon him because she felt that he would always be fuzzy and eccentric. He had no knowledge about how marriage couple thrived, because he was, inexperienced.
Bea always had something against Wilson ever since she told him about her three marriages. Having Kester at the back of her mind, made her stronger and secured. She was in fact losing interest in Wilson. He on the other hand, had the same feeling about Bea except that he did not have, Kester at the back of his head but could, travel to Bangkok to his favourite seafood and, with it, were abundance of Taiwanese girls, waiting at every corner. He felt secured and displayed arrogance and self-confidence.
Wilson had acquired a bashing lump in his relationship with Bea in that he had become a violent arguer and so was Bea. They had, become, unreasonably, ridiculous and were, unable, to converse in a, coherent regular way and solve issues.
Bea thought, if she could marry four, why not five, it made no difference to her and Wilson thought, it was his first marriage, so why not a second chance.
They were not even able to make it in the bedroom. They were no more physically attracted to each other. Bea was delighted when Wilson slept in the guestroom, She did not want him near her but was unable to voice it out to him, as that would provoke more violence, and it would deter her from dreaming.. She would rather evade it by keeping her beak shot. She was not frightened and neither did she respect him but it would put off her visions on Kester.
All the theories they had discussed in their first meeting at the bench, at the restaurant, at home with his parents, and Bea`s reflections and assumptions, were just philosophies, not actual and not genuine.
The strong physical attraction between them had evaporated and had become abysmal. They were each, accompanied by, annoyance, irritation and displeasure in bed, in the kitchen, everywhere and had become impossible to escape the wrath of each other.
Bea had been holding myriads of grudges against Wilson, maintaining that he had teamed up with his parents and sisters against her, and pumping him with stupid ideologies.
Bea had refused to budge and had remained cold and unbending. In the end, Wilson was the one to give in, accepting that if he defied her, she would leave him. He allowed Bea`s wishes, convincing himself that his marriage was more important to him than the complex higgledy piggery, and he would rather gain weight than lose it, and snooze in his own bed rather than the guest room.
Bea had been able to put on a cheerful physical exterior, one that could hide her feelings of distresses and frustrations of her pigheadedness.
When Bea contacted Kester, her eyes was, filled with tears and sorrow. She was sad and downcast and because of fellow feelings and compassion, Kester advised her to leave Wilson.
Wilson admitted he was wrong.
Bea listened to Kester`s counsel and guidance and vanished out of the sight of her husband.
Wilson, thinking, that Bea would, eventually come, around waited for three years without, any clue or sight of her, finally he accepted his destiny.
Bea was, acclimatized with such happenings. She never surrounded, and did not even wink an eyelid. She stayed away from Wilson and never went back. She told Amber just how wrong she was, in marrying Wilson after having known him for only three months.
In the course of their marriage, they had a girl, which they named, May Fair. Bea never actually cared so much about her.
Wilson took the child. He eventually married a foreigner and in togetherness, raised the child in a harmonious home.
Today, the little girl had become a mother of three children, but her marriage went asunder, just like her mom and her other half-sisters. May fair remained unmarried up to this day. She lives quietly in New York in a small house with her children. She visits her mother Bea from time to time.
The assumptions and reflections Bea made, the theories she propounded as she sat depressed one day, were all in her head and not in her doing. Her will was strong but her feelings, reasoning and spirits were feeble. She never really loved any, of the four menfolk she married. They bored her. The only man in her life capable of her status of love was Kester, but she could not marry him. All the rest of the menfolk she married were to camouflage her obsessive desire for a man she could not obtain.

Chapter 9
Life`s Transformation of Bea
Kester`s departure
Kester`s passing
It was in Saturday in September; Bea was walking on her lawn, on a mild fresh morning. Nothing happened until the night. Half-consciously, gossip went around that Kester was dead. It was quite impossible to understand that he was dead. “It was a discouraging news to hear. I could not believe it, but I started to cry inwardly. I had only myself to care for instead of someone else I felt very weary.
To console myself, I concluded, I can only go to the work he helped me train for, and to contain it was work, and throwing myself into the more disgusting and tiresome duties as a teacher to pay a tribute and recompense Kester. It was a sad day an unbelievable and unconceivable news. Should my life end with his departure? I did not belief it.
I had just got to bed wandering to sleep when I heard the news from a neighbor that Kester was dead. The neighbor came directly to me.
When I heard it, I believed it. I got down to the farmhouse trembling vehemently. It was, moonlight, the ambience was calm. The rest of the night, I sat on a rock and I barely noticed the display of moonlight on the field and as daylight began to emerge behind the mountains. However, I remembered how the breeze carried the evening dew that blanketed my face.
For hours, I remained in a state of deferred corporeal energy when warmth or cold, hunger nor thirst, exhaustion or soreness seemed to have any power over my body. They did not exist.
My mind however, seemed remarkably rational and clear. My sentiments, however in so far as they existed, were not rational at all, for they let me to a belief that Kester was somewhere around me. I actually felt that if I turned my head rapidly enough I might see him behind me with, his newly grown beard.
All at once, as I looked on the fields, our last get-together fought back into my mind. I could clearly recall when he walked on the lawn during my birthday and the many rendezvous we had and especially when I miraculously met him at a desolate area, when I was, stranded because, the weather turned ominous with horrifying, thunderstorms.
At first, it was extremely shocking to me; the only person I loved in this world was dead. I was still young but I felt no man could love me as much as he did. I had, certainly never thought to go through life without him, and how was, I to tackle the situation, only God knew.
He was the only man who wanted the best of me and did everything to achieve it. He was, a man with a clear vision for me, a man, who trusted my abilities and, a man, who ever loved me genuinely. He was always there when I needed him. Now he was gone.
I tried to keep my mind from thoughts, my eyes from tears and my body from shaking. Although I had been up for two nights without sleeping, I did not feel motivated to sleep. He was indeed my Alfa and Omega.
As I stood alone on my veranda, I had psychic pains in my stomach and the flower garden outside seemed to dissolve from my eyes. The cat he once enlightened me about suddenly re-appeared, and it seemed to, had come to comfort me. I felt I would never know anyone like him again. He was, so true, so conventional, so visionary and so loving. The people we care for were all gone and perished from the earth. Surely, there must be a reason or at least somewhere, we could meet again one day. Rest in peace Kester, yes, rest in peace until we see again”.
Now, Bea`s life was fuzzy and shadowy in the absence of Kester, her escapades, were over but her passion and affection remained.
She had always known she had strength of character and guts. However, life became mind numbing, uninteresting and uncertain. In the days that followed, she peeped and took a prevue at her window reminding her of that stormy weather with Kester.
This time it was not thundery but she saw nothing but a copious murky haze turning heavily around the neighbouring houses.
Bea however, felt deserted and secluded but could not seek privacy in her favourite home without thinking of Kester. She ached.
Her life hopes were, disappeared into the thin air.
Her house had, five rooms, and to have company and gain some economic interest, she rented out four rooms.
Through that, she is able to minimize her mental speculations about her miserable boring and unhappy life at home. She could sleep better.
She was lonesome and her neighbours disliked her because she was nosy, intrusive and interfering.
She woke up early in the mornings after the news of her, lover Kester’s death and saw, some clouds dashing lightly over the hills, observed it, thinking Kester was ascending to the heavens saying good-bye through tall bundles of thick trees. It was her a sad day, making her numb unmoving and knocked for six.
During the evenings, she sat on her veranda and watched the gloomy murkiness of the sun disappearing athwart the gigantic outlay of trees that met the distant mountains.
Along the edges of the mountains, lopsided patches of bright and unique vegetation made faint sprinkling of carroty and intricate designs in the eye of an imaginative theorist, a different design every hour.
Funnel shaped varieties, exposed in bottle green and orange were, the prototypes of the fashionable, scenery, but all seemed meaningless. Kester was gone.
She loved the scenery and there was plenty of fresh air, but of course, Kester was gone. By the end of the day, she had seen more than enough. With time it was certainly not as exasperating an experience as she hoped. Her life was, not exciting anymore, it was, empty.
She was now to choose the form of life her knowledgeability should take. Before they were never, materialized because she was, restrained by her own feelings owing to her multiple marriages.
Deeply, she felt absolutely that she was enduring an uncomfortable lifestyle. Her work on the plantation did not bring her in contact with the opposite gender. She needed new panoramas of expertise for a middle-aged woman, whose ambitions had not yet surrendered and relinquish.
Days passed by after the news of Kester`s death. One evening as she was dozing off, he suddenly felt the presence a cold air. She felt, there was, a callousness, and terrible ceaselessness in her legs. The Cool air on her legs was, feeling she had not felt before and made her think of something, rather unfriendly. She sensed the presence of disaster.
She extricated herself gently and went to the veranda, turned in the doorway. She stood and watched intensely and was sweating and shaking. She walked to the lawn, and pulled a chair and sat for a while.
Hours passed and the night fell, but she did not return from the lawn. She was dead exhausted.
The following morning she woke up, and walked, to the edge of the forest and sat. She sat and remained in a state of suspended corporeal liveliness. Neither cold nor grief appeared to have any influence over her body and mind. Her feelings were saying something else because she sensed as if her diseased sister Felicia was close by.
She rotated her head, and saw, something like a shadow, Felicia, standing on her right side. A transparent figure; which could have been a hallucination, a figure that conducted herself bizarrely; but that also could have been anybody acting oddly, and, her last thought was that, a figure that should not have been there, but that also could have been somebody who arrived unpredictably. It was as if her spirit had remained on earth. There was something awe-inspiring in the thought of the lonely earthly standing and calling sadly upon Bea in the bushes outside the spirits of the hindmost biosphere.
She looked up at her, barrowing her eyes trying to ascertain if it was she. She was ecstatic and in a way, obsessed. This was not a question of one loving the other; they were deeply and intensely involved on every level.
At, first, she was delusional and had a mixture of angst and happiness. Something inside her was denying that it was not Felicia. As much as she preferred to have her, alive she did not know what to think. Only by pulling nearer, the object was she able to identify it. She was not afraid and was ready to face whatever it was. She was willing to comfort and confess to her and ask for forgiveness.
The response was simple; she heard a whisper from the entity.
A heavy rain began. She heard something like a soft voice in low tone, Bea, but it vanished with the rain droplets.
She went back to sleep. There was no sign of anything.
The next day she was, awaken, encouraged and found out that she was indeed not old enough to shape her life in isolation and loneliness. She felt a great wave of strength and passion surging through her unrestrained. She could no longer restrain herself and was able to hold back the thoughts within her.
Suddenly she saw those another mesmeric shadowy figure. Her face certainly brightened and felt cheerful inside her. Her face, which had taken a mystical cast, unexpectedly vanished. She said to herself, another phantasm, delusion!
She was, pushed to a point of spiritual crunches not because of the mirages.
Therefore, for the next few years, she drove herself into nervous frenzy and labored unbreakable on the plantation. At times, she was tired, and bogged down with work and required a partner or a wage earner, but then again it was hard to get. She stunned and for that moment, she believed she had found courage and guts again,
She wanted to be a businessperson and trade in some petty items but she was, not able to pull herself together and, she dropped limply back into her daily routine for some few weeks.
All of a sudden, her energy returned. She put up courage for a second time to be a businessperson to cell office articles, excise books, pencils erasers, and baby toys and so on.
She traveled back and forth to the metropolis. There was hectic life in the city. The people were cool and dazzling but everybody worked so strenuously.
Within some few weeks, she made some few friends. People welcome her with warmth, affection, interest and naturalness.
She dealt with her provisions for some few years year, and opened a small Butikk and continued with her business. She depended on her optimism and modesty. She also worked continuously on the plantation, this time marketing plots and sharing the land amongst her children and that of her passed siblings. She gained a good deal of maturity, experience, confidence, kindness and pride.
She developed some habits of how to express her thoughts in a well-organized fashion. She learnt that a man who was unpleasant, unwilling to work and who excessed motionlessness, sluggishness, inactiveness and laziness was a woman’s worse enemy.
On the other side, Bea learnt about pleasantness, tenderness and concern for others. She caught some wide-ranging fine points, and made her knowledge understandable.
She had become, more friendly, and harmonious to be, in company and can, agree to opinions and discrepancies. She had developed believability, high spirit and bravery.
She had learnt that husbands had funny ideas because, they could sit in front of the television all day long whilst, and the woman did all the work. She thought, in homes where husbands displayed self-confidence, it left nothing for their spouses.
Bea was again free on the market.
“I had to change my ways, as I got of age. I set out on a mission. My mission was to search after my souls. I found no one who could help me to gain insight on how to make things happen Kester was gone. My life made a complete 180. I integrated exercise into my daily life, which proved to be an important part of my recovery and allowed me to focus on my spirituality and mental health
My life which was, a blur of depression, suddenly altered. The feeling of accomplishment was incredible.
After my divorce, I knew this was my chance to create the life I had dreamed of and deserved. Unexpectedly I started a business as; I hoped .Quickly I had made a name for myself as a strong, reliable businessperson. The result was a transformation that not only brought me to a new spirit and I was proud
The future looked bright,
I thought my life was over, I was not sure if it was a dream, because it was so real, it was the realest thing I had ever experienced
Someone made a derogatory comment about me because of my many marriages, but I refused to rebuke the person.
Yet, after the humor had ran dry, it was, replaced by a different tone
The business I started was not an easy job and not everyone could do this. There was a big difference in starting a business and making it successful. There were many factors to be, considered while running a business”.

Chapter 10
Bea, commemorating her progeny

In a taxi En route from the suburbs, Amber rested, against the back seat and shut her eyes. She was, neither cognizant nor felt concerned that the taxi driver, was driving in a slow tempo in a hefty rush-hour traffic. She did not care; she had ample no time.
Amber finally reached Bea; she had not seen her for a long time. Bea sat alone remembering and debating with herself something about her children. Whom she had never know, even some by name and who had disappeared from sight.
Today under Ambers questioning, she, by her own admission said that she wondered about and recalled them, more often than she wanted to. At other times, she queried herself demands to which she knew there could be no answer: Where her children were. How they looked like? Who was married to them? Where they live? If they happy? If they had children of their own?
Sometimes she saw teenagers on the streets and compared their ages to her children. Occasionary the thought haunted Bea if the children required something or were stomach turning or needed assistance, which she had no awareness or resources to give them.
For the first time she saw that, she could not endure the same uncertainty and improbability for a second time. Her own conscience demanded it.

Amber kept on asking about Felicia, the youngster she cared for one day, and questioning Bea repeatedly how the other children were thriving, focusing her attention to them also. She asked about Kester and to that, Bea replied that there was, nothing left in her because Kester had taken her with him.

Bea had found herself in jeopardy; she had only become aware of herself when she lived in loneliness. She was, entangled in herself but she had to bring herself down to earth; She jogged her memory on her children all of a sudden that they might need her and she realized that she might need them from everything else in the world now, that she was lonely. She was, motivated by a state of perseverance and determination to visit them one by one, which Amber approved and offered to go along with her.
Vicissitudes of her life ruined her contacts to the children but it brought and directed her feelings and attentions more rapidly to them. If only she had known, she could easily have gone to their rescue earlier and for that matter her own.
Amber. “Why have you ignored them?”
Bea, “I had ignored, them and their needs putting them in difficult circumstances and making them feel hopeless. I had also put them under emotional harm, away from my motherly love.
Amber. “Was that not damaging to them?”
Bea, “It very damaging to them. They had no one to turn to and since their predicaments were, more delicate, elusive and of feminine concern, people did not realize it thus, never intervened”.
Amber. “Who do you have to blame?”
Bea, “I do not know whom I should blame because my children were unable to trust me for the simple reason that I was never there to care for them.”
Amber, “Who was responsible for them?”
Bea, “I am their mother, I was responsible for them but in their eyes they felt that I was never responsible for their care”
Amber, “Was it not difficult?”
Bea, “It presented difficulties for both of us, our relationship suffered under it. We were worried, well, I do not know about them but I loved them in my own way. They felt I was controlling them and they expressed their disgruntlement”
Amber, “What word is that, disgruntlement?”
Bea, “A feeling of angry discontent. Neither of us was able to express their feelings and emotions securely, because they were terrified of me, and I had no faith in in them”.
Amber, “But why were they frightened of you?”
Bea, “They had anxieties and ideas about me, and struggled with anxieties, depression, and anger, and thought that I was dictatorial and tyrannical.”
Amber, “Were you?”
Bea, “But Amber, you know me, why do you ask such a question?”
Amber, “That is usually what people say, friends are friends, extramural friends, but we don`t each other intramural”.
Bea, “Okay, I get what you mean; nobody can know each other perfectly. The children turned to other gears to end their agonizing feelings”
Amber, “How did you know about that?”
Bea, “I was guessing, all I know was that, if help was not forthcoming from your closest you sought for aid somewhere else but I was concerned with their well-being”.
Amber, “Remind me again, how many children were they?
Bea, “They were six children from four marriages “
Amber, “Did they know each other?
Bea, “ I did not know, but I believed they felt that the fundamental thing that linked them together was the absence of passion, emotion and confidence, clear environments, friendship and awareness, which they said, I never provided them but, I offered them protection and security, ideals and opportunities”
Amber, “Did you do that?
Bea, “What?”
Amber, “Offered them protection and security”
Bea, “Yes, because those were my methods of shielding them”
Amber, “When did you do that?”
Bea, “Of course when they were children”
Amber, “What about now?”
Bea, “Amber, I have more to tell you. They maintained that I, compelled them to marry menfolk of my choice and liking and on refusal, I abandoned them”
Amber, “Did you really chose their husbands for them?”
Bea, “I guess I did that, you know, the world was full of mysticisms and menfolk were tricky, fiddly and unbelievable. I had knowledgeable of the menfolk from my previous marriages and I knew what was, worthy and fitting for them. I was, their Mom”.
Amber, “Did you really do that? In addition, thought that was, correct? Did anybody chose your four husbands and your lover for you?”
Bea, “My parents were not very educated, they were also inexperienced”
Amber, “I am sure you did something else, something they hated you doing”
Bea, “How did you know?”
Amber, “Because, you seem to be dictatorial”
Bea, “Do you? What would you have done if you went to dine in a nice restaurant and your children had no idea about table manners? I instructed them, about manners because most people were, coached from childhood about proper manners and etiquette, but once they left home, things got complicated. Sit up straight, say please and thank you, do not put your elbows on the table, was that a bad idea to teach them? Was it bad to teach them how to behave in public gatherings”?
Amber, “Actually not, but did you teach them at home?
Bea, “Yes but when they did not conform in public places, any nonconformities was openly castigated in front of others”
Amber, “Why in the presence of others?
Bea, “What would have done? I was, ashamed to be, held responsible, and naturally, I did reprimand them, I was their teacher and mother. However, I admitted that option that they might have, preferred avoiding criticizing them openly. Openly, I criticized their wear, their hair do and many other things whenever I desired for the same reasons. Criticism was something they could have avoided easily by doing what they have, been taught.”
Amber, “What resulted from that?”
Bea, “I extradited them away completely from my life making them shy and solitary, and created fearfulness , worriedness and apprehensions in them thus, making them shy away from mental contacts, and becoming inflexible.”
Amber, “Did you try to rectify your mistakes?”
Bea, “I paid little concern for them.”
Amber, “You did more than that, did you not?”
Bea, “Yes, I did. I locked them away in rooms for hours and deprived them of food, because there was nobody to hang unto, when I was, engaged.”
Amber, “Why?” Did you not find someone to cater for the children as I did for Felicia?
Bea, “The world was full of uncompromising and frantic people. There were many adoptees and for fear that, I had only one option and that was to safe them by locking them in a room”.
Amber, “Really? Were you sure that you were acting for the good of your children?”
I realize now, and ascribe all my shortcomings to the colossal tensions and constant pressures I underwent throughout my marriages and divorces in which, I sealed them for the time being, away from my life.
It was selfless and altruistic, it was resentment and bitterness, but I learnt that desirability die away and behind that prestige, genuineness and maternal love lay.
I was condemnatory and controlling because I wanted to be wayward and to have things my own way. I was intolerant and insensitive, would, not delay. I was volatile and quick-tempered because I had the notion that they wanted to hurt and upset me personally. They were egocentric and green-eyed and I was less motivated take personal affronts at unwanted and unexpected moments because of self-centered feelings, which increased anger”.
Amber, “You do admit it was wrong”
Bea,” Yes it was. I presented what I could, gave much from myself and felt that I got nothing in return there was inequity, imbalances and unfairness because they never helloed and supported me, they abused my forbearance instead.
I never remembered the feeling of their intimate warmth; it would have felt like having all the satisfactions of this world but it never happened”
Amber, “But you have repented.”
Bea, “Yes, to the highest degree.”
Amber left.
After Amber had gone, Bea remembered something about her first-born Alex, with Robert some forty years ago. For a month before her birth, she debated with herself whether she should have the child or not because she did no love Robert. In the end, her conscience defeated her. She remembered that she wrote a letter to Kester and she had kept a copy of the letter. This was the copy of the letter to Kester.
Bea, “My only Kester,
“Dear Kester, sometimes relationships wear out and sometimes it is a passing phase. Maybe what I feel is just infatuation for my husband. I am afraid that I may not feel the same excitement with him as I feel for you.
Whenever he comes close to me, I search for excuses to move away. I do not feel comfortable sharing secrets with him. I would rather share my, secretes with you. I feel we have obstacles to overcome in regaining some kind of at least likeness for each other. I do not love him.
Now, I sleep by the hairs breath. I want my relationship with you be exiting as before with all that intensive, exciting, enthusiasm and exhilaration. I am pregnant and I am not able to concentrate on anything else for a long time because I do not know what to do.
You and I are wonderful together and we smile all the time, should all of these have to end? Is our relationship doomed to predictable and boring routine? On the other hand, should terminate my pregnancy? I want us to become more enraptured in each other, since our passion has grown from deeper awareness and understanding of each other. It requires willingness and special persistent attention from both of us.
My passion for you will never die. You are my strength my “God” and my air I breathe. What is it about you that captivates me? You are handsome, gorgeous, intelligent, kind, good, humane, cool, calm, and compassionate otherwise. I would not have cared about you.
I know, we feel for each other and we genuinely enjoy each other’s company. We long for naturalness, spontaneity and passion. We have to awaken our feelings again and I want to get away from my present predicament because passion does not between him and I, but I am pregnant.
Our upright relationship reflects what you and I put in. This means, opening up to our feelings and giving our affection more weight.
It is hard to care for him when I know that one mistake will make him despise me and that will ruin our marriage. Many times, I have to hide my emotions for you from him because, those I have feelings for, do understand how much I care about them.
I am a girl who will put her head on your shoulder, not because I am sleepy, but because I want to be closer to you. Sometimes I wonder why I spend so much time speculating on you, but then I realize that it is because I care for you. I am living a double life now, but I hope one day all these will end and I will fall back into your arms.
Life without love is meaningless. Love is born before humanity, and it still exists in all kinds of creation.
However, we express love in various forms and, between different relationships. External love is, between a man and a woman. The trait never, diminishes as long as one shares it with others but not my husband.
It keeps on budding. Love you gives life sense. Whether it is the love between passionate partners, or love for family or friends, ensuring love in life makes it worth living.
Every now and then, it is healthier to be caring, gentle and compassionate than to be exact and precise. I care for you because not only for the reason that you are passionate, but it is also because of your charisma that I can wear, as a wedding gown. I can trust you, because, you confide in me, you demonstrate and show sure signs that indeed, it is so. You are trustworthy and I am comfortable with being close to you a, ‘true’ friend. In fact, we understand each other and you can trust me. Yours everlasting Bea”
Kester was, to Bea, “Deus ex Machine”, one whose unexpected interference solved difficulties. He was a man, whose presence, welcoming hurdle yet unsurmountable, liquefied as the saying goes; “Bis dat qui cito dat” who gives promptly gives twice.
Time passed and Felicia and Kester’s children succeeded in growing older than just unfledged kids grow. Ceff had series of meaningful and encouraging dreams that lifted up his spirits. However, the genial matter of fact was that Kester had already observed Ceff and had effected Ceff`s ambitions and that alone dispelled all doubts of comprehensions which would have made Ceff’s life look trivial.
He was, sent to educate himself in medicine overseas and had arrived unexpectedly in the country. Kester` s gave his children education before he passed away.
Ceff was erecting a mansion. Bea later advised Ceff on technicalities. Ceff was a doctor, and had married a foreigner. He was rejoicing and celebrating in this role. He had expended thirty years in his life overseas and had failed to recall Bea, his aunt who had taken upkeep of him after the demise of his mother Felicia, Kester`s wife.
Bea had heard of his coming and had traveled from the county to meet him. He was living with his nephew in the metropolis.
Bea, visiting Ceff after his arrival from overseas
One daybreak the doorbell rang, and without any knowledge of Bea approaching, she entered through the ingress. She had grown thirty years of age and the few furrows made her unrecognizable to Ceff, nevertheless she was still a gorgeous ideal. Ceff was a teenager, nineteen years old and Bea was thirty-one years old.
Ceff could recall a memorable morning in 1940s when Bea took care of them in a white house down town. Her attitude seemed to sum up her role as a mother.
Ceff felt at peace with himself but not lethargically, with exhilaration and high spirits rather. That was the beginning of the reunion with Ceff.
Bea`s son Mike and his fate
Time passed and the events of Bea`s life let her one time and another to reside temporary in Ceff`s house. It was a pleasure for Bea to travel to visit Ceff at her own wish. She allowed one of her progenies, a son Michael from her second marriage to John to live with Ceff.
Michael, suddenly gained opportunity to live in his nephew Ceff`s house. Michael had started at a young age stealing few monies without being, caught. He thought stealing was easy and started thieving more and more until he developed a habit. Mike picked up influences and attitudes from friends in specific environments and took chances to gamble. Valuables, were, entrusted to him because of reliance but he wrapped them for the reason that he could not be, trapped. He could always deliver an alibi.
He tried larceny and did not consider that people had worked to acquire possessions, valued to them.
One day Bea dispatched her cab to be, mended by Ceff. Mike cunningly and inventively set up excuses, and wholesaled the vehicle and squandered the money on himself and his girlfriends. Bea said nothing but in its place, asked, Ceff to recompense for the squandered money, which, he refused.
Bea was particular about her own children even though, she paid less thoughtfulness and responsiveness to them when they were growing up.
Mike was pocketing and outlaying the cash on his girlfriends to impress them. Taking an employment was out of question. He was indulged in petty robbery’s such as, car lights, car jacks, extracting petrol from car tanks, climbing walls in the night, and leaving traces to simulate outside burgles, and organizing armed robbers to steal from Ceff`s house where he also lived. Ceff was, nearly slaughtered by an, equipped robbers on one occasion. Not all these touched his emotional state or compassion.
He engaged in sex orgy whenever Ceff travelled away and lived in Ceff`s mansion, but claimed it to be his own whenever Ceff was overseas. He gulped unhealthy home mad alcohols, ate unhealthy foodstuffs and lived an extravagant lifestyle, waged by Ceff.
He ultimately contracted a liver cancer and died a horrifying death. His copse was unidentifiable because the cancer had disfigured him. Only his head was, seen. His corpse became tinny and disfigured; He died meager, shapeless and impecunious. Bea blamed Ceff for what happened to his son Mike. Whilst Ceff was overseas. Ceff and Bea became unfriends for seven years.
The following months she was suddenly feeling uncaring and mean-spirited. She had such unfriendly thoughts about her children. Nonetheless, Mike’s death was the topmost.
Her children were harmless although she agreed Mike was a problematic and challenging son. His nephew Ceff was a kind person and had such a fortune of bounteousness in him but it seemed Mike was unappreciative.
Bea castigated herself. She knew how much it would give pleasure to Ceff if she were pleasant to him and so she determined to be agreeable him without leading him on, and giving him indecorous impress. That would be a catastrophe.
Bea finally came to apprize Ceff. She acknowledged him as one of her own and relished the amenity and luxury of his concern, without any purpose to explain anything to him.
Wandering with her own various thoughts and sometimes daydreaming about her future, she acknowledged Ceff and the future begun to seem decisively, blooming to her.
Naturally optimistic, she looked at things in the most positive way and anticipated the finest. She also anticipated the best from people around her despite her miserable involvements. Burying her direful and horrendous hurt, she had suffered by the death of her son, Mike, she retold herself that not every person was harsh, egotistical or narcissistic and that the world did have its plentiful share of kindhearted and compassionate people, Ceff was one of them.

Amber re-visits Bea after some years
Amber visited Bea some years later after their last conversation. About her children. She had come to see if Bea had implemented it.
They sat on the lawn.
Amber listened to Bea with a sympathetic heart, and it contributed towards a cheerful friendship free of roughness and discrepancies. Bea`s feelings and spirits, which she was in control of, had accepted her life which was a stepping stone and a gateway to her success in visiting her children. She, needed them, she was lonely.
In retrospect, she was wondering about her good deeds of bringing them to this world. She tried not to become distracted from anything else and concentrated on the reason that has brought her children here on earth. She had love for them when they were kids’, for, which, she would never disremember or repudiate.
Although, years had gone by, she learned that, Bea had by no means still, any contacts with her children. Bea meant that meeting the children`s fathers was fate, becoming their friends was a choice, and developing fancies for them was beyond her control.
She felt that some kind of a strange nostalgia had descended upon her spirit and had to tell Amber before she proceeded.
She recollected the mockery by her mother at her birthday.
She told Amber that she remembered, Felicia her sister`s wedding day, when the sister was dressed up by maidservants and ornamented her with jeweled pins and flowers; when she kneeled before the altar, and when she rehearsed with the female members of the family in the appropriate customs and the correct ceremonial approaches.
She also remembered how the cooks prepared delicious palatable meals, and how everybody, dressed in his or her best clothes, walked majestically, adding to the magnificence of the ceremony. It was a lengthy ceremony and, memorable with melodious melody of gospel songs and every participant was happy and frolic.
Concerning her children she thought, she had led them into a path of uprightness instead of awry. His son, Michael had died. This was what Bea feared, his eccentric.
She had wanted her daughters to celebrate their weddings like her sister, but they, never, listened. She had since left them to their own fates.
Now that her life had begun to shape up, she would interchange ideas, and objectives, with her children and live together amicably. She had real affections for them, which was not, based on motherly prestige. She would like to practice give and take without benefit or some kind of a reward.
They would converse without interference from any family members, acquaintances, or confidante.
Amber listened with sympathetic hearts, and it contributed towards a cheerful family free of roughness, discrepancies
Her feelings and spirits, which she was in, control of now, had accepted her new life, which was a stepping-stone and a gateway to his success towards her children.
In retrospect, she was wondering about whether the stars above her would give her the energy and strength to help her children.
She would, be there with them and would not concentrate on the reason that had brought her to them. Her chats with Amber had left a life saturated with a form of equality and respect for her children and for all, which, she would never outgrow. Her children were not just children who had desire for disrespect for her or revenge.
Bea felt that she was a forgiving person.
As they chattered, the sun, set angrily in the middle of black clouds but few reflections from the sun light made them feel at ease. For the time being. Suddenly they saw at a distance that everything was, covered with darkness and boring, dull yellow lights gave small spots of colour, which enlightened the county but lost their brightness because of the bad weather.
Amber stayed for the whole day. The weather had changed and they felt themselves suddenly living in a dark world, cold and ugly.
Time passed and the nightfall approached and with it came a violent storm with winds and rain. Violent and fierce rains hit the landscape with enormous velocity that was both terrifying and life threatening. They went inside the room and remained calm and composed. It was such a violent storm with circular winds.
The storm finally stopped but it deposited shivering and, aching problems on them.
Peace and tranquility changed into anxiety and comprehensions. The sensation finally stopped completely and a bright light of the sun shone through the sky to all corners.
Contentment and cheerfulness grew in them. They formed a mental picture of what could have happened to them if they had been stricken by lightning, the wondrous feeling of great joy would have ended in a world, which such natural occurrences would never seize to happen. From that moment, Bea knew life was short, there was no time to stand and stare, she had to contact her children.¨
Amber left after the bad weather and advised Bea to go through the idea of contacting her children.
Weeks passed and Bea knew that visiting her progenies demanded trustworthiness, devotion, control and high opinion in the direction of awareness and averting self-importance and.
Many years of marrying different menfolk convinced Bea once, and for all, that having children and upbringing them was to be accomplished efficiently. It was more demanding than she thought. It demanded patience, loyalty and respect.

Bea decided to pay a social call to Felicia
Bea decided to pay a social call to Felicia, Samuel`s daughter, the one Bea refused to sanction her marriage, she had now two lads and two daughters of her own. Bea had now two granddaughters and two grandsons. All the same, she felt the voyage was too lengthy, some 400 kilometers away, and it was tiresome.
She felt it was a surplus waste of time and cash. She would rather visit Amatia, her other daughter from her second marriage to John. Her residence was, not very far-flung from Felicia.
Bea loved Amatia most, who had light brown hair, cut short and styled her hair in a pleasing stylishness. Her smooth skin was as perfect as it had always been, and the brownness of her eyes had not altered over the years. Her face was very cheerful and lively. Amatia was always obeisance, unfaltering, and indefatigable. She was Bea`s Number one daughter. She had also, four children, two lads and two Mademoiselles. Her husband had died and she lived unaccompanied with her four children. She was Bea`s Number One.
Alex had divorced, Amatia`s other half was dead and Felicia’s partner was obnoxious. There were not many to visit.
Bea had arterial motivations for not visiting Felicia, she ostracized her, and shunned the partner for the simple reason that he was, not eye-catching and evocative, enough; he was obnoxious. ¨
Amber reemerged impromptu
Amber reemerged impromptu one evening. She was exhilarated, overjoyed and exited by the amount of work Bea had put in to see her children. She smiled, sensing a certain shyness in Beas face, to make her relax. She hailed Bea.
Amber made herself comfortable with a chair and leaned back. She had brought some orange snacks along with her.
Bea sat on the couch.
Amber with a warming beam on her face, “Did you visit some of your children as you vowed?”
Bea, “I have prearranged to pay Felicia, a visit but she lived too far away, and it would be a waste of money moreover, I am getting old for such long voyages. I have to upkeep my healthiness you know?”
Amber`s face was, frowned, and grimaced “You promised” Zipping her orange juice.
Bea, looking grim and a little unenthusiastic to reply, “I had voiced that out already, pin your ears back”
Amber, to a certain degree acerbic, “Are going to be unfriends on this subject matter?” You have additional children too.”
Bea, relaxing and halfsibling, “It is accurate. There were six children in all from the four marriages. Two lads and three daughters. One boy, Michael breathed, his last breath some time back, you recollect that? I visited him ahead of time. There are now five left behind and enduring. A lad and one daughter had travelled in a foreign country. They are in New York. The three left behind are girls, Alex, Felicia and Amatia”.
Amber pulled her chair nearer Bea, took Bea`s hands, looked straightforwardly into her face, feeling an overwhelming pity for her. Instantly Amber saw the joie de vivre that filled Bea`s face. Amber said, “But you will visit Felicia, I am saying this for the simple reason that she was the one I often took upkeep of. That is why I hunger to be familiar with her evolution in life. I loved that child”
Bea, clinging to her point of view about Felicia with a tense face, gazing penetratingly into Ambers eyes, “I understand you without a glitch. You have taken care of her a number of times and understandably, you have to be acquainted with, how she flourishes now. It is human. I have been thinking of Felicia and her children with a constant rush of warmth and affection. I would like to see my grandchildren, especially the boys”
Amber turning her head slantingly and scrabbling her chin, “Why the boys specifically?”
Bea was silent for a sec and grinned, “I should not give or take but the lads are better looking than their daddy and that had impelled their narcissistic father to avert them”
Amber was flabbergasted “What are you saying and why are you saying this, do you ward off the husband so hatefully?”
Bea looking grim and excitingly annoyed, “Yes, I disgust him and have antiparty against him. There are supplementary whys and wherefores you do not know”
Amber, listening with all ears meditatively and inquisitively, “What is it? Tell me.”
Bea took a deep breath and exhaled, “I had, nightmares about him not only because he was ugly but the husband was abominable and green with envy of his own children. He had a possessive character and he only deployed the children as a source of self-assurance during the years they were growing up, and felt jealous because the children had grown up more beautifully than he was. They are self-confident and do no longer adore their father because they do no longer see him as a powerful father figure”,
Amber, “How be dam”, looking more flabbergasted and dumbfounded, “Do you have all these details in your head?”
Bea, sad and downcast, “I chew on it every day. The children feel their upbringing was the father`s responsibility, and now that they have grown up physically handsomer than him and have become successful and independent., the father had constantly averted them because he is jealous of them”.
Amber, looking at Bea with her hands casing her exposed mouth “This is narcissistic”
Bea released her tension; she dropped her shoulder lower and pulled herself together, as a sign of relief, realizing that Amber sympathized with her said, continued, “Some of the children have toured out of the country; he hates that too, because it creates pressure and irritations for him. The children have to walk on eggshells; overall, they have to be careful in what they say and do.
The father sees the children as an extension of him, his property, and he is envious if they take advice from somebody else and not from him. It may sound crazy but it is true. Even when the boys were born, the father was envious of the children because their mother was spending too much time on them. He was envious then and he is envious now”
Amber looked very sad indeed, “Was it all Felicia could get? Poor thing, I must go visit her. I now understand you have a repugnance towards him. I feel very sorry for the poor girl.”
Bea seemed very anxious, “Numerous endeavors have been made by me to permit the grandchildren to visit me, the answer has been no. Many no’s were, tossed at me, along with a variety of intimidations about generating an outrage if I summoned them again. I did not want that sneaking around my neck, being powerless to let them visit me. Since then, I have not been interested and I do not care here and now”

Chapter 11
Bea`s Fifth Husband
With a Middle-Aged Man
Unexpectedly, Bea heard a little voice inside her, which tend to speak to her. An intuition, sixth sense, clairvoyance, or revelation? She asked herself. Suddenly she was, at ease with herself.
The moonlight had transformed the county into a wonderful and an enchanted place to live. The lightest of gentle winds whirled through the tress. Bea stood on her lawn and sighed. It was a cheerful and a welcoming ambience. She was in a good mood and there was something eerie and illusive about Bea as she stood admiring her florae. She did not see rosy; it was as if she was woolgathering.
Suddenly, and out, of the blue she grew spirited, and there was a new vivacity about her. It was as if she had seen a man with high cheekbones and a slim noble snout in the far-off distance. He was a middle-aged man with small number of white hair on the sides of his cranium. He had white moustache and the arch of hair above each eye, the super cilium, was profuse and, shaggy.
He came nearer and their eyes met and held for a brief moments. There was affection radiating from her face, portraying sincere ecstasy in her eyes. The man was charming middle-aged man with pleasant personality and the way she hailed Bea made her like him.
His vocal sound was soft and low, his movements were majestic and impressive, his, smile was warm and genuine. He held a cigar stuck between his left fingers, and his right had kept on wigwagging and signaling to Bea. He smiled so affectionately and indeed he was a charismatic, captivating, and mesmerizing with an expensive ensemble.
Bea was, troubled, by the emotions he aroused in her because, she had made of her mind never to be involved, and tangled in any mannish relationships. She had had an adequate amount of them. She had already married four times with all kinds of menfolk, some greedy, naïve, psychopathic and others infantile. The rest had the same propensity, mentally abusive, economically unable, and sexually shaky.
Bea speculates, “Is he a married man”. No, he has no ring, certainly not; he is wearing no ring on his finger. He was probably one of the old men who goes around admiring women to mollify their aloneness”.
For a reason she could not explain, the old man begun to giggle, his eyes glowed. Beat thought he was an old rascal and a ne’er-do-well who triggered Bea to join in his symphony of giggling.
Even though Bea was shy and reclusive, she joint the man in laughing, leading to an immediate interaction.
Bea asked herself, “Why Me. Why does he bother to pick me? He could easily have walked away.”
All the same, Bea deducted that there was something more to him than he was demonstrating. Just the same, he managed to deliver an unexpected news; he wanted to support Bea with her sugar cane farm. He was an old farmer acquainted with the farmhouse.
For some few seconds Bea was surprised and puzzled. She thought, “Where do I know this man from, where does he come from and when did he know about the farmhouse”
In a way, she was worried, and she pulled herself together and tried desperately to ask the man, as the crow flies, about where the man came from and if they had by chance previously bumped into each other.
The middle-aged man replied, looking pleased and gratified, swaying his roll of tobacco and smiling captivatingly, replied,
“We have met once before, some thirty years ago when you were, at the Correction Home. I was the one who supplied the home with flowers and plants and I showed you around our beautiful and exotic plants. We chattered whenever you felt lonely”
Bea certainly remembered, “Oh yes, I remember, sorry, very sorry, but you were a charming young man then, what has happened to you. I know you are still charming”
The middle-aged man, “I have retired but I still offer guidance to corporations and Institutions of how to care for outlandish plants. I live in the township, which is not very far away from you. I have known about the sugar cane farm for countless years, and worked there when your close relatives called me to help from time to time”
Bea more relaxed, “That was why you were laughing”
The middle-aged man, “Yes”.

They chattered for a while and made a date to meet. It was an auspicious date for their third meeting and a long lasting relationship.

Home of Fifth Fiancée
One day the middle-aged man invited Bea to his house. The house was, built with blocks and shut off from the corner of the road by beautiful hedges. Bea observed a perfectly smooth pathway among variety of small blossom garden. She was, impressed although, they were, old-fashioned, but exciting indeed.

He invited Bea to his home and showed her his house from one place to another. There were beautiful rooms with exciting and convivial atmosphere. The living room had four massive genuine, leather couch loveseats; and in the bedroom, a colossal queen bobsleigh bed, handcrafted techniques and design, constructed with genuine inlays and wood finishes. It was a satisfactory and sophisticated boudoir ornamented with gorgeous first-class highlights. The living room was the midpoint of doings and the soul of the family`s home life. There were roses all over the place, cheerfully, in hand-arranged bouquets with exotic colors, and sizes. It was a heavenly place to be.

Bea leaned on one, of the sofas, gazing and scrutinizing what she had seen, nodding her head and, with a deep sigh and sparkling eyes, said, “Yes, yes you have made noble choices.”
She was inquisitive and asked the middle-age man his name.

The middle-aged man, “Coughing a little to clear his throat replied, “Agya, Yaw. My friends call me Yaw. I have given my name to you before, at the Centre. Have you forgotten?”
Bea, putting on her thinking cup, “Sorry, I might have forgotten it. I am getting old”
Yaw asked Bea “What would you have as a thirst-quencher?”
Bea still stunned and gazing at the flower bouquets and the furniture, said, “No matter what”
Yaw said, “I have lemonade, orange juice, cokes and apple juice “
Bea, “Can I please have a glass of water?”
Yaw, “Why natural water?”
Bea, “Because I like it”
Yaw, “All right”
He dashed to the kitchen and brought a glass of ice-cooled water. Bea felt the coolness of the glass and said, “It is too icy for me, I like it ordinary and without ice. It cools my inside and it is bad for my health”
Yaw, rushed again to the kitchen fetched ordinary tap water. He asked, “Is that all right?”
Bea, responded, “That is acceptable”
Yaw was on the go to light his cigar draw on it nevertheless Bea pointed out that she disliked the smell of the cigar. Yaw stopped straightaway.
Bea, “Why are you smoking?”
Yaw, “Bad practices die hard”.
Bea “Well you have to put an end to smoking; it is not good for your wellbeing”
Yaw, “I did not know you care”
Bea, “I care”
Yaw, “Okay, I will put an end to smoking”
Bea, “Where did you get all that cash to buy all these? I count the little I have to see if I can be able to f buy nourishment for the day. I cannot afford to live luxuriously”
Yaw, “Why not?”
Bea said straightforwardly, “For the reason n that the money is not at hand”.
Yaw, “Is that factual?”
Bea, “Why should I say it if it is not factual?
Yaw, “I am very sorry to hear that”
Bea questioned Yaw, “Have you ever heard the story about the affluent father who took his son to the countryside to show him how poor people live?
Yaw, “What story?” Please convey it.”

Bea cited and referred the lines of the lad who took a trip with his, father to the countryside. After their homecoming, the father enquired about what he saw. “The son answered, I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden, and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden, and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard, and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on, and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them.”

Yaw was, flabbergasted and wordless, he said, “That was an inspiring story, I am sad for the family. I understand it perfectly well. What can I do to help the family?”
Bea, “You can contribute some few pennies a month, food for the poor; that is a way to save the lives of our poor brother and sisters”
Yaw, his face was set winningly, “I will donate”
Bea kept on sittings and bit back a smile of encouragements and said, “I am certain you will, hats off, that`s the way to go.”
They prepared some food together and enjoyed it. It was a cozy day.
Bea rushed through into the bathroom; peeped at herself in the mirror, and leveled her hand over her head cover. She returned, well pleased and relaxed. They had a couple of milk shakes, listened to music and conversed. Bea recognized that she had really come to appreciate Yaw.
He viewed up and tapering his eyes and snuffling, said, “You are an upright woman.”
Bea left Yaw happily and contended.

Bea reminiscing, as she came he to herself

“There I was on the lawn and had almost abandoned all optimism hopefulness and confidence. All of a sudden, I came upon him, a normal tallness middle-aged man, plucky, well, and mannered and gracious, standing face to face, on the lookout for an acquaintance. Quite suddenly, he saw me and started to walk enthusiastically forward towards me, his hands were, extended and his face was glowing with acknowledgement beneath his smilling expression.

As I went up to him and greeted him, I felt that I was on the right trail; and although I knew that, in a sense which I could never figure out, I was connected to him intimately and always.
I found it fitting that the years of thwarting and heartache and loss of Kester, of loss of my siblings, of loss of my son, Mike and painful revivification, should have directed me through this murky and tricky life to a different start.
The day was, spent in discussing how we should be able to see each other. I have confidence that we will see a lot of each other, in that my company was profoundly, accepted at the expense of his comfort.

In my fully-fledged years, I frequently mirrored, with bewilderment, upon my fanatical greediness, of a young girl growing, up and, have lamented and regretted a, lot of my deeds and dealings. I have acknowledged with levelheadedness the fact that I was not always correct in handling my matrimonies, but the spouses too added a boundless deal to the collapses and failures.
I seemed to perceive an inner voice saying quite clearly: “He is the right person, go for it.
Meeting him was destiny, becoming his friend was a choice, but falling in love with him was something I could not control.
Fourteen days after I first saw him, he came up to town again to persuade me to spend a wee-end with him, an invitation, which I first resisted, but as we sat together on my veranda and listened to the singing birds, I said no without pressure, but only accepted it grimly. I count not under any circumstance marry him. I felt pity for him. There were so many potential slips between a betrothal and a bridal, as I of all people ought to know. Marriage, perhaps two years hence, with all possibilities of death, seemed almost equivalent to no marriage at all. I was also aware of the fact that, marrying as late as we both were, or even older, held well. This delayed matrimony can be advantageous because it can delay and avoid the un- innovative restraints and apprehensions of middle age. For after all, approximately one in five men and, women ages 50 to 69 had wed two times.

I am acquainted with the fact that there were problems with husband’s extramarital conducts, economic problems, untrustworthiness, immaturity, unhappiness, incompatibility, husband’s emotional abuse, infidelity, sexual incompatibility and neglect of home and children as well as lack of love and mental cruelty, constituted most of my problems. Their suspicions characters often led to melodramatic encounters especially, those who displayed lots of charisma at the onset, of the marriage, simply turned out to be something else later. Others were, rude and foulmouthed and it led to repeated pattern of unhappiness.

Mostly, it was a decline in financial stability, which, in turn, affected my health and overall well-being.
For my part, I had spiritual glitches for the reason that my son in law and my son died and two of my daughters, Alex and May Fair separated from their husbands. They were, confronted with financial distresses.
I have said “I do” and separated four times, which brands me to be one of those persons they call “ a complex marital biography” From time to time I felt embarrassed with myself but I was not the one with the problem.

However, without doubt I am not alone, the risk of divorce for ages 50 to 64 and 65 have quadrupled and I know that.
The most apparent cause is that people, exist longer. My four marriages took place over a 30-year period and produced six children I was, not a party-girl.
However, my deep-seated thoughts are what if, marrying, more than once, were, in reality up to scratch? What, if people of any gender could enter into lawfully approved relationships with individuals they loved, and if their relationship no longer held, they terminated them?
I do not show remorse for any of my four matrimonies, not for a sec because; I cannot, be, deprived of the experiences we pooled and the children that were born.
After all, what makes a life well livable? Taking risks, creating blunders by loving others, and perhaps saying, “I do” to the wrong type.
It is needless for Society to view marriage as an exit to life’s highway. It is rather an irreversible dead end. Perhaps, it could lead to a thoroughfare we all want to endure always; that would be a great sanctification. On the other hand, people should be at liberty to head in new directions without a feeling of failure if they do not succeed”.

A date was set for the Knot

After so many speculations for and against the wedding Bea`s newfound, friend, a date was set for the wedding. It was the fifth time for Bea and a second time for the friend.
The wedding took place at the Methodist Church on a sunny Saturday. The airstreams were calm. The Wedding Ushers arrived very early and smilling wholeheartedly to the guests as they arrived, welcoming and giving directions to their appropriate seats.

Shortly after, the groom, best man and groomsmen entered some thirty minutes before the ceremony. After the usual rite with the organist they, the best man took his seat at the front of the church on the right-hand pew with the groom, in front of the groom’s family waiting for the bride to arrive.

The organist played a prelude music, setting the vein for arriving family and guests. After which the fiancée, Bea`s family and friends arrived and were seated to the left of the church and the groom’s family and friends, to the right. Bea`s closest relatives sat at the 1st bench and close intimates sat from the second. The guests were, seated behind the bride and groom’s close family.

Bea`s distant father waited at the entrance of the church. The Matron of honour were two sweet young girls Amber`s cousins and Amber was Bea`s bridesmaid.
Bea wore a white wedding gown. It was simple but elegant and carried her bouquet of pink roses.
As they merged and lingered around Bea in the arrival hall of the church, she looked very gorgeous, exquisite and fresh.

One of her distant uncles had graciously offered to give her away therefore; it was on his arm that Bea walked down to the aisle of the superb and outstanding old Methodist Church, with its English architecture and its multi coloured tainted glass windows.

The wedding usher informed the organist that the bride, Bea was ready.
The ceremonial music amplified and expanded and the straining of the hymn, reverberated and echoed vehemently through the high roof beams of the church that Bea`s throat tightened. Her eyes was filled with tears and she remembered her sister Felicia`s and Kester’s wedding and their departures. She ached for them. At the same time, she knew she could not let herself break down so, she took hold of herself, and opened and closeted the eye very hard to relieve the blubbering. She straightened out, raised her head higher, looked straight in the direction of the, alter where her husband to become was waiting with his son, who was his best man. The bridesmaid helped with Bea`s sequence to make sure it was not crowded together.
Warmth floodlit his face. The sincere course in his eyes were, soothing, encouraging and Bea thought he was wonderful in his dark outfit, which was brand new, and the al dente white shirt and the shiny-grey silk tie, were all faultless on him.

The groom and his son, best man moved out of their seat to the chancel steps, and watched Bea walking slowly down the aisle with her distant father, side by side. Bea`s father took her hand and placed it in the groom’s right hand and completed his role by sitting on his seat. The husband took his place. His presence and the vicar`s kind expression and smiling’s instantaneously chased away the feelings of loneliness Bea had experienced a few minutes ago.
The Reverend’s words seemed to wash over Bea, for better or for the worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and health and so on.
The idea was quite unthinkable for Bea, but before she realized, the ceremony was over. She was married.
Bea walked back down the aisle, this time, not alone but adhering to the arm of her husband as the organist thrusted away enthusiastically a wedding march song that filled the airs in the church.
Bea and her husband hanged back on the church steps for some few minutes, to have some photographs taken and to greet some family members and some friends who, had, travelled over for the occasion.
After some minutes, amidst, laughter, talking’s and chattering and a cascade of confetti and rice, they rushed to the vehicle waiting for them.
Bea was very tired but satisfied. Sitting very close in the back of the vehicle, she beamed up to her husband and then peeped down at her gold band on her finger. She was the happiest woman on earth.

After the wedding

From the moment Bea entered into his house after the wedding, she was conscious of the quietness; she was, stunned by it really. As she rested on the sofa, she felt the tears she had suppressed throughout the wedding ceremony began to flow in her eyes. She felt, she had entered into marriage again for the fifth time and speculated how that would unfold this time. Yaw was very quiet, instead, he cracked some jokes, and endeavored to draw her out of her sadness, believing this would cheer her up and lift Bea out of herself. It did.

They chattered for a while. Suddenly, He felt that he had to talk to Bea about her feeling. He looked across at her and murmured, “It is odd, not sitting in your own home?”
Bea, half smiling and signing, “Well, I am married, I belong to you now”
He fixed his eyes on Bea, “Yes, I know, you have gone through a lot, Bea.”
Bea, “Yes I have”. She met his gaze. A nosy thought struck her and before she could stop herself, she said, I am being tested for the fifth time, how am I going to overcome this”
He starred at her intensely.
“But we have come through all right. Yes we have, have we not?”
Bea nodded, cleared her throat, “We have talked about this before: Do you remember I said we should live separately?”
Yaw was flabbergasted, “Yes, I remember, but you did not say today.”
Bea, a little cautious, “No, I did not say today.”
Yaw, “All right then, let us amuse ourselves today, tomorrow is another day.”
Bea, “When and where would we spend our honeymoon?”
Yaw, “It all depends on you, whenever you are emotionally settled.”
Bea, “All right, I will tell you.”
Yaw, “I will be waiting for your command.”

Bea was ecstatic by the excitement of travelling to the metropolis and all the attraction it presented, but because she was cognizant of the absolute effort, which will be, spent by him, to honeymoon with her, she was an obstinate partner.
The news of her honeymooning was so exciting to Bea; it brought dynamism in her soul. She felt, she had had an inactive life and it was time for some excitement and amusement in her life. She had been restrained, preoccupied, disheartened, cantankerous and miserable by turn, by the menfolk she had married before. She had spent her young, life marrying, and no time enjoying, but every time he had approached her, and asked if there was something off beam, she had rejected there was anything awry.

They began their emotional journey to the land of the spirited, and determined. They began to share their common morals and beliefs, and compatibility. They communicated a lot and debated; shared values, sympathy and respect as well as affection and trustworthiness and closeness, being able to lead an emotionally stable, secured life and grow up together as, ideal partners.
Although, Bea was thrilled that she was now being, launched in the way she wanted and was deriving a great deal of gratification from him, one thing tarnished her contentment; this was her estrangement from her children.

Bea`s daily routine did not change, even though she had plunged into marriage with Yaw. She had recognized and resolved her past ordeals and sufferers, and had understood how they could influence her current situation. She found him to be sincere, wholehearted and affluent, the reasons she chose him, a cock-eyed view of Bea. However, she had a realistic view of him and possibly; she would be happier and more satisfied with her marriage this time.
Bea, “However, she was convinced that there was no such thing as ideal marriage. She had to adjust all the time. There were few happy moments and many unhappy hours if she did not compromise.
Life is full of vicissitudes, and so was my marriages. My ideal marriage at that time was for security and steadiness and for the sake of a house full of children. I will try to lessen the give and take and acquire what I want out of it. To find a person who suits ones accepted wisdom was challenging.
I am emotionally, emancipated from my past and am not looking for someone to recompense for my inadequacies and faults. I was not searching for someone to systematize my imperfectness. I looked for person like myself, with the same qualities similar to mine. A person with whom I could share my life in a well-matched fashion; an ideal partner, real and non-aggressive, calm and collected, and who was prepared to take risks or to be vulnerable; friendly and approachable, not hostile. A person willing to accepted wisdom without being melodramatically subtle about any subject matter. I found a person whose frankness allowed us to be straightforward and outspoken in communicating our moods, opinions, ideas and wishes. The husband I found was truthful and reliability with outstandingly distinct goals and precedence. I have accepted his worth, which is agreeable and helpful towards our overall goals in life”.

Bea found out that he was, thoughtful, desirous towards their connubial wants, he was not a dominant, and authoritative person neither was he manipulative and Machiavellian. He was too liable a man.
“He was the man of the house”, Bea said.
He liked Bea, enjoyed her company and her affection for him, enjoyed the way she spoiled him, catered to his every need. He found a great deal of pleasure in her.
Bea, “I found him empathetic and spontaneous and there was, a team spirit existing between us, which I acknowledged and respected. Each of us felt certified and I felt the “rest” would follow. We joked, teased and laughed together”.

They had agreed to live separately and there would be no recriminations and reproaches on either side when one of them ended it.
Sitting together on his sofa, they were both blooming, smilling and glancing up at him Bea said, “I have not been able to save any penny”.
Unexpectedly, and much to her astonishment, he accepted her as she was and made no remarks. He hugged Bea and starred down at her face. She saw that it was, filled with smiles and her bright eyes were more brilliant than ever: there was a radiance about her. He drew her closer, pressed her head against his chest, stroked her face and said,

“I have been hoping to hear this for weeks. It is good you voiced it out to me upright. You have hinted to this before when you cited a story about a boy and his father who went to visit some poor people in the country side, I have observed it bothered you however, I have waited for you to say it outright to me and now that you have said it we shall see.”
Bea looked at him appreciatively, half smilling as she spoke and said, “I wanted to, say something to you but.” She Left, her words, dangling, and ran to kiss his cheek. He opened his eyes widely, stared into Bea`s warm and friendly face scrutinizing his. “Yes, I am a gentleman”, he said that teasingly.

A minor get-together
They assembled, and chartered and amused themselves with some good food and drinks. They had invited some few guests. Bea slept in his house for the first time. In the days, which followed, nothing extraordinary happened. Yaw felt bound to agree with Bea to let her stay in her own home. A date was set for their honeymooning to the metropolis. He was, left alone in his house with a sinking heart and a sickening feeling of despair. A subtle request and painful beseeching for, Bea to stay another night had made no impress. They were, all high and dry, in the face of her willpower to go, anyway, a promise was a promise. It was a straining moment for him; he sat on his sofa, and emotion gushed up in him, he moaned interruptedly and fought back his griefs.

Some weeks later
Bea`s husband, Yaw was a nice person, kind and affectionate, open hearted and generous of nature, and he genuinely cared for Bea.
From the lawn, he was, drawn to her. He was a widow and had two grown-up boys.
He had recognized that there, was something special about Bea. Apart from her shy smile that was dazzling and magnetizing, she had also an excellent comportment. He had never met any woman like Bea since the death of his wife Joana.
Coming from an ordinary, middle class family, his clan was descendants from a long tradition of farmers. He had observed the sugar cane farmhouse owned by the Bea`s family and had appreciated it for years. He knew that Bea`s air of social standing was unequivocal and was second to none, difficult to emulate. The family was, hardworking and they were conscientious farmers. And that could explain Bea`s blue-blooded standoffishness, her good manners and her self-assurance, submerged in her bones

He had found out that Bea was an intelligent woman together with varieties of other qualities. She was strict and disciplined, candid and just. All these added to her exceptionality and personalities.
She was a woman of his choice in every respect, a gracious woman with distinctive cheekbones, one who was enormously trustworthy and affectionate; she was also the most determined woman he had ever seen.
Yet, despite these commendable traits, Bea could not help worrying about him. She worried because she found him to be alone and without help in his big magnificent mansion and nobody to share. He misses his two sons who had travelled overseas. Mr. Yaw could have lived by himself and take a house cleaner but he wanted someone to share his fortune.
At their wedding, he felt that the affection between Bea and himself was a trifle one-sided thus, he was downhearted, and did not expect Bea to have left him the next day after their wedding ceremony. He had wanted her to, at least stay with him for one Week. Certainly, there was no question in his mind that, Bea was, a good catch, because she was trustworthy and kept assurances. He knew that he would not stay alone for long, once he had learnt more about Bea.
In his mind, the essential words were without a doubt husband and wife living together. This was what he had wished for the most and so he was going to convince Bea to stay permanently with him.
All of these thoughts, which frequently worried him during the last few days, started to spin around in his head.
A month after their wedding, however, he was thinking of their future, and wondered how to tell Bea to live with him. He had toiled with the idea of not saying anything to Bea earlier. However, he knew that Bea, who had so much honesty and was such a reasonable and open-minded person, would understand him. He decided that was the only one way to express it, and that was to jump right in, both feet first to address his apprehensions.
Later, after many speculations, he went to visit Bea, his wife. They took a trip to the Metropolis and stayed in grand hotel.
Reaching out as they sat in the hotel, he touched Bea`s arm tentatively, and said in a low submissive voice, “Bea, there is something I want to ask you”
Bea looked at him surprisingly, rotating her eyes, “Yes, what is it, you sound very serious, have I done something wrong?”
Husband, he ruminated and cleared his gorge, “No, you have done nothing, but there is, something on my mind which I wanted to ask you earlier. I know you are a woman with integrity and would understand what I want to say to you”
Bea, stared at his face gaping, “Yes, I am waiting, go on”
Husband, feels a little uneasy, he looks around, “You are making me nervous”.
Bea, half-smiling and with a straightforward half-sour expression, “How am I making you nervous, by saying, go on?”
Husband, getting somewhat a little irked, “Yes, now it is you who look serious, you face has changed suddenly”
Bea, exasperated, “My face has, changed from what to what?”
Husband, “Bea you are being argumentative”
Bea signs, took a deep breath, “All right, I am sorry if I am being quarrelsome, that is not my intention but it is taking you a long time for you to express whatever you wanted to say”.
Husband, he took a good grip of himself, sat upright on the chair, cleared his throat and said, “You should not be angry but you must be frank with me and tell me your upright opinion.”
Bea, relaxed and curious said, “Yes, I am waiting, why should I be vexed, you only want to ask me about something”
Husband murmured so softly, it was almost a whisper, as if he was unconfident, “Bea what about living permanently with me I n my home?”
Bea, liberated from anxiety, “Was it all. We have discussed, this, topic before we were, wed. You agreed to my notion of staying home for myself”
Husband, “Yes I know, but I feel lonely and depressed without you”

Observing him closely, detecting the misery now flooding his brown eyes, Bea sniffled, anxiously, “Please, Yaw; oh please do not be upset. That will not happen, I cannot live with you and we cannot see each other all the time.”
Husband, was noticeably, taken aback, his eyeballs suddenly became smaller, his breathe shallow, the colour on his faced became dull, he could say no more and was only able to nod mutely.
Bea saw the changes in her husband and saw the distress in his voice, and smiled weakly, and forlornly, and waved back and forth, “I understand your feelings”, she said.
On the other hand, her heart was, submerged at the outlook of the husband feeling alone. She felt as if she had let her husband down, but all these were, pre-arranged before they wed. However, Bea came up with an idea; she wanted her husband to engage a maidservant, one she would be available, one who could live in the house.
Yaw, the husband, blinked and stared at Bea, realizing immediately that she was right because a deal was made before they were married and he could not go back on his words, promises were med to be followed and obeyed otherwise they were of no use. He had promised Bea before they wed.
Yaw threw his hands around Bea and hugged her; overflowing with happiness and filled with relief. The thought of having somebody in the house was more than he wanted. He did not want to be alone. “Nothing makes us more vulnerable than loneliness, except greed”.

A trip to the Metropolis.
They sat comfortably, on the hotel sofas. They chartered almost about everything, whatever entered their heads and were caring and gentle to each other. However, the husband found out that there was something curious about Bea. One thing was to see a woman in her own environment; another thing was to be with her in a foreign place. There was something curious and nosy about her. At home, she laughed first but here she laughed last. At home, she acted like one who was playful and mischievous, a rapscallion, rogue, but here she acted like a model of excellence and perfection of a kind.

She was a mass of contradictions, he had discovered.
Husband, “From the moment I made her mine, on the very first day on our honeymoon in the hotel; she had been an unstinting and a giving companion. She did not query about anything but did things as she wished and desired. We chattered, and had not, made love. She fell into an extraordinary reticence and uncommunicativeness. A curtain was drown over my face. However, I said nothing I remained mute, thinking that her attitude was from her background, her breeding. Nevertheless, no matter what, I acknowledged her as she was.

Holding her hand, we both took the elevator and went down to the dining hall to dine. It was suppertime. We sat opposite each other but very near. I asked her tell me about her childhood as she was growing on the sugar cane farmhouse”.
Bea, “Goodness me, “Where do you want me to start from, I cannot remember much from my childhood, especially in connection with the sugar cane farm. In fact, I had nothing to do with the farm. It was taken care of by the grownups, especially my sister Felicia.”
He, “But you were educated somewhere”
Bea, “Yes, I was educated at the Methodist school.”
He, “So was I.”
Bea, “I grew up amongst four siblings, they are all deceased now. However, I was lucky that my sister’s husband helped me to continue my education as a teacher, to him I will forever be grateful”.
He, “Do you mean Kester”?
Bea, “Yes, do you know him?”
He, “Yes, I did in connection with a property case”.
Bea, “I remember you said that some time ago, but really, I do not want to hear about that. To be frank, I was not much interested in the sugar cane farm; there was lot of work connected to it”
He “All right”
Bea, with a light smile, “Now, you tell me about yours.”
He laughed a little, “Well, I do not have much to tell you except that I was a good footballer, otherwise, as I have said already, I went to the same, Methodist School, but the rest is very boring. But have you not lived through something funny or horrible?”
Bea was suddenly mute for a sec. her face was solemn,” Yes I remember something very interesting”
He, “What is it, I would love to hear it.”
Bea, “It is a long story.”
He was, excited and perspiring, “Come on let’s hear it.”
Bea,” have we ordered our supper yet?”
No, “Let us order first.”
The called the waiter and ordered their supper.
Bea, “One day, I desired to visit one of my daughters. She was Felicia. Frantically, I was nervous because I held grudges against the husband. I fingered, I required some king of fortification before I visited her. I had heard of an old woman with some magic spells and decided to visit her. There was a village nearby where an old woman performed magic spells and people said she was phenomenally astonishing.
One early morning I woke up and searched for the old woman in the woods where she performed her wonder magic. I took a taxicab.
I was, left at an edge of a woodland.
I penetrated the forest. Not knowing which way I should walk, I kept on yelling, hello, hello, loud, noisy and flawless. I was very exhausted and fatigued.

All of a sudden, I saw a small house in the middle of nowhere. The paintings on the building was red, the roofing was green and all the doors were, painted yellow. I was limping because; I had knocked my right foot on a stone, unwillingly and unnoticed under duress. I walked humping towards the largest of the yellow doors. I knocked at the door. There was a heavy dull sound for some few minutes then a whopping, walloping sound followed. It was scary indeed, and I was unaccompanied, exhausted and drowsy”.

He stared at her unblinkingly, his gaze speculative, appraising, and bold.
“Yes, yes go on, I am listening, it’s exhilarating and I glad you are alive, otherwise I would not have met you: What happened?”
Bea, panting as if she was re-experiencing and reliving the occurrence, “ An old woman came out, she was at least ninety years old. Her hair was bushy, shaggy, grey, woolly, and imprecise. Her nose was pointy and tinny, her eyes was disappearing and her mouth minor. Her neck was lengthy and her bulk was dumpy. She wore a dusky long outfit.
Mystic woman, she spoke with a corroded shuddering voice “He-llo”
Bea, quaking fervently, “Hello, I have come to see you Madam.”
Mystic woman, “Com-mm-e with me-e, si-tt down.”

The mystic woman directed Bea to her big hall, gave Bea a comfortable chair to sit on. She was aware that Bea was afraid and trembling and was exceptionally cautious and sympathetic towards her. She did not want to lose her customers. That was what she lived on.
Bea narrated the reason why she came; whilst the Mystic woman nodded, her head as Bea spoke in an understanding manner.
Even though, Bea was not, wholly by herself, she could, perceive her unmistakably and understood each move she made and lyrics she spoke.
She stretched her hands in the direction of Bea, to hold help for some rites. Bea extended her right hand. Strangely enough, Bea observed that her hands saw much younger than her age. It looked like a sixteen-year-old girl.
Mystic woman spoke with a charming voice, “My child do not be afraid, you are here to hunt for my service to reinforce and toughen your inner senses. I will free you, and protect you from factual threats, fictional menace and panic occurrences. I will also guide you and protect you from both dangerous people and situations”
Bea gathered her energy, and tried to focus. She was, asked to stand up and put both hands in a vessel. She did as ordered.
Everything suddenly became gloomy and silent. The Mystic woman recited some magical incantation for about five minutes.

Bea was, released from fright and asked the Mystic Woman, “Madame, are we done now?”
Mystic Woman, “Yes, we are done, you can pass through your right hand side, there is, a door, open it and donate whatsoever you sense you can afford, after that you can go home.”
Bea, “I was free, but in a way, I felt pity for the Mystic woman. She was all alone in the scrublands. If everything worked out fine, I would go and visit him one day.”
Husband, “That was an exciting and invigorating story. I am sure you are starving by now. Let us eat something.”
He was fascinated and impressed about what, Bea had gone through as well as her achievements and the help Kester gave her. He enamored and captivated him and loved hearing her talk about such topics, particularly Kester tad the Mystic Woman. They spent a beautiful and a lovely evening at the Grand Hotel that night.

Chapter 12

Bea`s era with Fifth husband

Bea`s apprehensions living together with husband
One year after Bea`s fifth wedding, stillness fell between the pair. This was because he wanted her to live together with him. It was, the kind of sympathetic quietness, they had so often shared in the initial phases of their relationship. However, that day was the highest. They appeared to be so vexed with each other in a manner they had not been before. The husband felt his eyes on Bea and she dispatched her stare to meet his. She held her breath. There was a look of such sensitivity and feelings on his face it could have brought any heart to a, standstill.
Bea sought to open her mouth to communicate but she was powerless. She shut it again without emitting a word. She was unable to say anything for the reason that she was, occupied with perplexing array of sentiments.
She peeped down on her hands. Her bridal band sparkled; it was so optimistic a representation of her ideas and expectation for the future, affection, ardent feelings and their want for each other. Deep in the innermost recesses of Bea`s soul, she understood that in spite of everything, this woman`s emotional state for her spouse remained in one piece and unmovable and that was an unavoidable detail. Bea remained defiant but her feelings for him was a fact.
The affair
Bea assumed their marriage could be, rescued if both of them tried hard enough to understand each other. Bea was convinced that, if the husband could meet her condition in sanctioning her plea to live by herself, everything would be in order. However, she had reservations if he would ever change his mind as much as she would like it. However, without some changes, continuing to be married as they were would be excruciating. There had never been a solace and relief of closeness to make up for other meagerness and insufficiency.
There was something horribly wide of the mark in their relationship. He did not excite her sexually. On the other hand, he, just thinking about Bea was enough to stimulate him. Somehow, when opportunity was there, her desires impotently repressed her. The result, in the husband was frustration, wrath, and buildup of libido that was so sturdy that he sought after a woman, any woman.
The days that followed, the husband went out often to a bar during the evening hours. A limb scrubbed against him, and a vocal sound said good-humoredly, “Good evening”.
The husband spun around. There was a woman; her eyes were appreciative and forthrightly reviewing. The husband, thought, why not? He knew he was loaded with cash that evening; he had dressed well and made up carefully. The woman exempted herself for a sec and went to the women’s room. She did that, intentionally, to see if the man`s eye would trail her. She came back exhibiting series of beams and charms on her face, impossible for the man to resist. She sat down and the man ordered a drink to her and returned a battery of smiles.
He squeezed his way across the bar, viewing back to see if the woman was observing him. He saw her spotting him and grinned. He became sure of himself. He was calculating what his chances were of laying her tonight. Before he want across the bar, he was evaluating the option of heading back home, now he was, guaranteed he had caught a “big fish”.
He requested the barman to double the thirst-quencher, the dry whisky he had ordered. He rushed back, and sat down and chatted with the woman. The woman`s dialog was deplorably unoriginal. He did not know what to say, not even did she ask for his name. She was out to have a good time and nothing mattered to her. She managed to ask the man if they could go somewhere quieter and occlusive, somewhere they could be alone.
He had no delusions of himself so far a rational awareness went. He was a conventional man with no great mental power and knew that he could never measure up to Bea. He started to wonder if what he was undertaking was morally correct.
He escorted the woman home to him and had a good time. He liquidated his accumulation of desires. He needed a major gratification and pleasure in his life.
Husband. “Initially, I thought Bea would change her mind concerning living by herself. I sincerely believed that marriage could solve that problem but it did not. It made it rather worse for me. I felt imprisoned in my emotions. Moreover, there was never a physical contact between us. I had once casually lifted up the notion that I wanted to have a mistress”.
Bea reacted angrily. She said, “Over my dead body, harlotry was a thing that belonged to the past. I know some families practice this but not in my home. I will never allow it”
Husband, meditated and speculated about his affair “After the episode with the woman, I do not feel embarrassed or shamefaced about what I did. However, I will never voice it out to Bea because; she would have a different opinion about me. I believe that a divorce in so short a time and at my age would be socially damaging to me. On that fact, I have never altered my mind. I envisioned that if I, remarry, how would, I know that she too would have no, physical interaction with me and would end up in nothingness similar Bea. There would be no difference”
He was satisfied, and contended that he had liberated his desires, which had accumulated in him for years. He became a different person.
For him, and unlike any other menfolk, the main reason for his action was lack of sex life. He was not comfortable talking about it that his partner was, disinterested in sex. He kept it to himself and that nearly made him crazy.
Bea, unaware of his husband’s infidelity was busily engaged on her sugar farm property.
After some weeks
Her husband, after some weeks of waiting for some sign of concerned compassion from Bea, the apparent consequence of his deed`s dividing influence moved him to irrational fuzzy and speculations against what he thought was justified but it was, an easy admission of defeat and morally damaging to his own passion and conscience. He had not yet grasped, as he was later to recognize through his own admission of wrongness that it was demoralizing. He was not to discover until, some weeks later how completely his doings had possessed his concentration, and decided with fuming arrogance he was not going to sit submissively under condescension or lack of care, he would tell Bea. However, he never did.
The subsequent two years

Bea, “For the next two years, I continued my marriage with my husband, and indeed for a reason that I shall tell later. I leant from him what was happening around him. However, he told me nothing. For all I knew he was living well and glowing. I hardly visited him and we did not move in the same circles. I could have made something out of him if he could put himself in my hands but he was too pompous.
My circle of acqintance was not so, restricted as his. I knew a number of persons whom I would have thought desirable to visit. I had my children. Although he had, his sons, the two boys had travelled abroad and his friends were limited.
He had intentions to travel to visit them abroad but his intentions were, abandoned. I knew he had taken fancy to some women. I could imagine why because he was so active in that direction. He was too revolting at times because I was concerned about his health. He had to take care of his health and he was not doing that. He had a serious blood pressure problem.

When I tried to tell him that he should be careful about his blood pressure, he bit my head.
Sometimes when I wanted to contact him, he was unavailable and nowhere to be, found and I had no notion where he was or how he was, tied up. All I knew was that he could be nauseating and hospitalized somewhere. Nevertheless, he never told me what he had been doing and where he was. I knew him adequately enough by then to recognize that when he felt, like telling something, he, did, but when he did not he would turn off the question with a calm politeness that made it unusable to insist.

However, he was much pleased with our marriage, which agreed with all his ideas of matrimony, and he spoke of it with the oleaginousness and fulsomeness of a man expressing himself on the appropriateness of amalgamation between them.
He was sixty-nine, his hair was grey, his face furrowed, and there were sacks under his eyes, but he bore his years chivalrously. He was a straight-backed man.
Nevertheless, what chiefly struck me was the change in his appearance. He had taken brave measures to reduce his weight, and now he was as slender as anyone could wish.
He was, sensible in his lifestyles and took care of his exterior. He had no objectives of, yielding to the penalties of time. He clean-shaved his face. Who could deny that, that “oldie” was the kindest, most considerable and generous of men?

When I finally met him at home, we talked of one thing and another. He greeted me with pleasant cordiality and indeed seemed as glad to see me as if he had never seen me before.
He fetched some drinks and went into somewhat long-winded detail about what he had been doing.
He had been a superb spouse. We enjoyed the same people and enjoyed doings things together and he thought I was the most wonderful wife on earth. He was caring and sympathetic. He had a charming way of treating me as if he and I were of the same age made, tête-à-tête easy and we messed around, and giggled and teased one another. We chatted about ourselves, and about our mutual consociates, so that the time passed very agreeably.
I felt a new kick of pleasure in the perfection of the warmness of his company. However, nothing happened concerning sex although, I felt at peace with myself, but not with high spirits”.

Five years later

“The events of my life have led me at one time and another dwell transitorily in circumspection.
He hinted repeatedly on my moving in with him but I tried to explain to him again that it was impossible, it would not happen. He listened to me with his eyes fixed on my face in a contemplative, unblinking gaze that suggested to me, I did not know why, he was listening not with his auricles, but with some sensitive body part of hearing. It was atypical and not very peaceful. I thought he was tone-deaf .Probably my subconscious had something to do with it. Within myself, I wondered, perhaps on thinking it over he had changed his mind about me. However, he smiled and that was a game changer for me. It was plain to me that he was, completely insecure and a trifle manipulative.

I was aware there was something that, I could only define as aloofness and I wondered what he wanted to indicate because we had talked repeatedly on that subject of moving in with him. There was something within and about him. He seemed to be disinterested in other women. I do not know whether to call it, chauvinism, insensitivity or a mannerism that remained strangely to be, seen. However, I did think he was performing because, he was too ordinary and naïve and his genuineness was clearly noticeable.

Yet, I frowned slightly and I was, bewildered, trifled and frightened because, I could feel there was something going on in his mind.
Then his gaze lingered on his movable mouth. He asked why I looked so melodramatically changed all of a sudden.
I was, slightly thrown off poise by his question. He watched me for a full minute. His eyes in their deep holes seemed as though they were trying to bite to the depths of my soul. However, I laughed inwardly at his gazing and found it to be a funny twist.

Well, it was time for me to leave. I spent some four hours with him. I left him. I thought myself that was the only sensible course to take. I would eagerly have, strolled some distance with him, but as we got into the street, he shook hands with me and before I could count to ten, he had paced speedily off. I got into a taxicab.
After that day, we saw a good deal of each other at my house. I jokingly persuaded him to live with me. He sneered, I laughed, and we were silent for a moment. Then he went back to what we had been chatting before.

His smiles died on his lips and he gave Bea a glance that was totally lacking in pleasantness. His actions were not rational, but lucid and easy to understand. He was unsatisfied and affectedly displeased that I asked him to live with me. He stunned away and grimaced.
This was a man without ambition and he had no desire for eminence either. He was a humble farmer who had worked his way up to be affluent. He had no pleasure to become anything like an open figure or something the society could benefit from with all his money. That would be deeply distasteful to him. He was only interested to have a wife living with him. That would be satisfying to him so that he could lead his chosen life and be no more than he was. He was too timid to set himself up as a good friend and to understand that their matrimony was a marriage of convenience, nothing else. I was unable to admire the joie de vivre of, such an exceptional man.
For the first time, a gleam of fiasco crossed my face.
He salted our matrimonial like a cheerful and contented marriage. It was in many respects and theoretically appropriate. I laid no strains on him although I was aware of his trips to bars and doings. It was a remarkable value in life where neither of us was jealous of the other in every respect. At least, I was not jealous of him. He might have been but he was so sure of me.
It made life bearable in filling; one was free in his or her feelings, not in a negative sense but in calculation with emotions. I felt that any spontaneous mental state that arose rather than through conscious effort was often, accompanied by joy, ecstasy, sorrow, grief or anger, and resentment. Such, emotions I felt, were, personal and often, hereditary and nobody can do anything about it.

To avoid display of such sentiments, to a certain degree, elimination of marriages and thus, divorces was a moral and, honest thing for society to enjoy, if no children were involved. I was not interested in materialism thus; there was nothing to share, vended, or swapped in case we separated. We had no children to wrangle on and I did not want any financial advantage from him or something else. I was mindful that I was free from the marriage, but not from my husband. To avoid unnecessary entanglements and imbroglios I anticipated zero from him. I would like to keep my own emotion without it, being, infected by other garrulous emotions”.

The husband had the opinion that he was giving up on his life and rational values of glee. Because, as a replacement for, disagreeing, he thrusted his sullenness inside him thus, elevating his blood pressure. As such, his core of life was, not achieved.

According to his mindset, he denounced such marriages as doomed to, be impassionate and without delight of normal comradeship with Bea. He was aware that he would not enjoy the loving dream of marriage, but he did not expect it to be that unbending.

Bea was prepared to permit him to have a woman friend, and still relished a companionate matrimony. Bea had her families and children and he had his.
She maintained that their marriage was a matrimony for practical and not for financial reasons or, otherwise and not for affection or tenderness. However, there was respect and courtesy in the marriage.

Bea, “We kept on discussing on this subject back and forth. To my amazement I saw that he was tense and dried-eyed as I was, however, I saw him quickly moped his eyes, and in that moment, I realized how much he cared for me than I had supposed or he had ever shown.
I felt terribly, regretful for him because he had to combat his blubbering. I was sad to see a matured man in that condition. I had no wish to cry with him at all, and the unbearable lust towards comfort him, was out of my reach, because I was suddenly unmoving.
I felt wretched and more indolent than ever. I wanted so much to say my mind about our amalgamation, but that was, left unsaid. I could not endure the thought of him displaying more sorrowfulness and grief. I had wanted to suggest to him that he could take an additional woman to live with if that was what he wanted.
All day I felt excessive wooziness, not physical but psychically, and so, only once, did we educe for a few moments the lovely fascination of our marriage. I had the fear that he would, soon led me out of his consciousness and his life
As the day glided gradually into the night, his qualms increased and dominated the day. I was feeling very fatigued and very miserable indeed. I had only myself to care for most instead of someone else. My sense of being a gallant woman was, lacking. It would be a relief to show some kind of understanding than to be, told all the time that he wanted me to live with him. I felt worn-out of it. It was all we had to discourse.
After all his big old-fashioned, mansion, comfort and cash it seemed very strange that he kept on hanging on me. I felt a mixture of weirdness and misery and trepidation, though I was with him, I felt distant away. My affections and distress were in constant danger and they filled me in stimulating my first outburst of wrath. I could scarcely realize I was together with him. I screamed so deafeningly and at the top of my voice.
I felt afterwards that I am quite an impossible woman. I never could have dreamt I would scream like that to affect his hearing. Nevertheless, at the present I felt that I am a terrible person. I was even, feeling that maybe I must accept defeat, and must do something to alter my current form of life if I am going to have any persona left that is worth having in our marriage. Yet, I know that I am not a nasty person at all inside.”
The mixed sadness and elation of that day lived in them for weeks.
“I put up a brave face on the turn of events that was certainly causing him a great deal gratification. It was a mask of yearning, he had put on. I should never have believed that his noble features could assume an expression of such unrestrained desires for sexual pleasure. As I glared the inclination was, stripped from her face. The look made me repugnant and terrified.
His love for me was an enjoyment to see. He adored my attractiveness and thought I was the most fascinating creature in the world. His canine devotion to me was, most revealing and skimpy.

He felt he was married to me without love. He was trapped and unhappy. There was camaraderie but no amorousness. He felt himself on the rocks, and no friend or family to seek advice. It was in-built, and he was suffering. I had to entertain carefulness and caution.

Expressing my feelings, could, have been, very wounding; to him thus, I had to be cautious. It would have been unwise, insensitive, and damaging to our relationship, therefore, I stopped. Nevertheless, it all depended on the mindset of a person. Paying attention to me about what I wanted could have been of prime importance; because it is through that, an understanding of each other’s point of view could have emerged.
Although, paying attention alone was an important ability, yet marriages could not suddenly alter because of what individuals said or how well they pined their ears back; our marriage could only be better if we fixed our problem by doing it.

This depended on time, which could give the drive that could persuade and stimulate our disposition and nature towards positive, conviction, because the brain would recover from shock wave and jolt and would regain its realistic attitude.
As time elapsed, the brain would recuperate from the debauched, rootless, nasty, cruel, and painful and hash things we had voiced out in wrath and rage to each other. The brains would pang of conscience and would set in with positivity, and wound suppress and erase all destructive and deleterious thoughts to insensitivity.

The brain would focus on modifying and adjust errors and blunders. Thus the partner, viewing these changes, would be conscious of the modifications, and would accept and adopt, making the other individual feel motivated and persuaded to alteration and modification. The other individual would feel now the need to alter his or her behaviour too and wound become responsible and answerable. That would be, the doing.

Debauched and ruthless brashness, perilous lyrics, and difference of opinions, wounding and insensitive responses, immature and unripe behaviors, time-consuming dialogues and consultations, weighty and cumbersome, channel of communications would all be fruitless when the brain recuperated, and activated, with time.

My thoughts to solve the problems we had was stimulated by the fact that we had ourselves just emerged from peril of another kind. The brain was, acclimatized and adjusted to change due to previous knowledge and experience. Otherwise, it never occurred to my partner that he was being preposterous, silly or austere in asking for something I could never give him no matter how hard I tried.
He finally succumbed to the reticent and that jolted his brain`s awareness of his actions.
I felt that learning how to subsist marriage without affection was conceivable without the feeling of loneness. There were motives that could bring us together for the first place. My reasons were numerous and multifarious but no matter my explanations, marriage without love was conceivable and depended on brains acceptability.
If the question was about sex, one needed to be comfortable with the other one having sex with other people. I feel that devising a few small things in common could keep our marriage without love together, such as aerobics or occupying ourselves with audiovisual games and spending time with our acquaintances.
Devising evocative leisure pursuit would give us something to ponder on further. In addition, we should remember and accept that this was what we contracted and was our marriage destination.
Marriage was, a journey filled with equal parts excitement and tedium and glee. The reality of marriage was far richer and more rewarding. It could be tough and exasperating but who said life was stress-free?
Marriage has its own enchantments and magic, seeing two outsiders who had never known each other, suddenly acting together as one was exhilarating and exiting.
We have such a wonderful feelings about each other because we are cognizant that both of us can sense and handle our feelings. We long for each other`s company, for touch, for affection, for emotion, for sentiment and nostalgia and fantasy We may not know why we feel this way. It is metamorphosis of life.
As soon as I feel innocuous around him, I longed for his concern, for his touch, and for his warmth and fondness but not for sensuality. I may not even know why I feel this way. All I know is that there is to some- thing special about him that he does that I do not feel with any other man. He is in love and wants to take me in his arms and have me always.
This is the clandestine consciousness of men and affection.
It is uncommon, and, I feel mesmerized by his wants to get close to me and pursue me for something solemn and long lasting. I often, consider, that what he needs is sex; and that he would, like to have a fabulously gorgeous woman with a great body. I thought he fell for me because I was, sweet, kind and especially benevolent to him. I wanted to keep him company and to do things for him and cook lovely meals.
I gave my soul and mind to him but not my body. It was not that I did not want to put sparkle and dynamism on our marriage, but the vigor and potency were not there.
For a while, we were silent. A chill went down my spine, as it strangely does when I am, confronted with deep and genuine emotions. This happens because deep down, I was not triggering sensuality in his heart. I was not connecting on the deepest, most intimate level of his feelings, sensuality.
I am aware that my heart is not, connected with his heart in a way he wants: I tried but it was not forthcoming. I loved him in my own way but his conversations do not trigger any emotional state in me and his actions never stimulated me although I had a high opinion of him.
Within myself, I wondered whether on thinking it over he would make up his mind to put up walls between him and I without even knowing he was doing it.
As I talked, I was, struck by his evident power of concentration. On my way, I was, seized with an impulse of curiosity. However, his actions did not evoke sorrow in me I was automaton no matter how hard I tried. I was, not a cold-blooded woman by nature but I was without compunction of human feeling by situation.
Alternatively, it was actually difficult to even, pay attention to one`s own emotions. I was, too busy with my commotion lists and errands. He was caring and especially openhanded and I allowed myself to experience real intuitive sensation and emotional state of what I had inside me, but that sensation was not able to communicate back to me.
It appeared very simple, however, for me it is such contrary to what common sense would suggest and problematic. I did not feel sensual. I magnetize him simply by being what I am, soft on the outside, but robust and resilient on the inside. He was probably unaware of the feelings and emotions to communicate the irresistible masculine quality that lures a woman, if there is such a feeling.
He never, applied unsuitable or unscrupulous methods of getting my piety. I did not see myself as, not good enough of his warmth and concern. I questioned his motives in being, attracted to me. I tried very hard to become emotionally strong and in the pink enough to be in relationships. I could not resolve it.
I wanted him because he was a quality man; he smelt good and was decisive and self-confident. He looked radiant and healthy and his charisma was the best, He was jovial and was, respected by many. He was well to do and had respectable looks. He was well mannered and a good communicator and made me feel good with myself and we were suitable to each other.
I was much pleased with our marriage, which agreed with all our ideas of precedence, and we spoke of it with smug self-serving earnestness, fulsomeness and oleaginousness of a union between two people alike. As a visible mark of our satisfaction, we both agreed to wed and the ceremony was, performed with such splendor. However, our whirl of jollity has been, broken up by me, because I am not residing with him in his mansion. Nevertheless, this should not deter our relationship.

Here we are thinking of ourselves about where to live whilst, Humanity is, apprehensive about ill health, old age, misery and misapprehensions. Anyway, the spirit of life is resilient in us. I felt more alive, than I had ever felt before. I had dynamism that could be, spent to the world.
It was not for us to think only on ourselves, but to think of the world we live in, and the bits and pieces of love and kindliness we receive through nature and the endlessness that is in them. We must be willing to accept every sort of life, no matter what its pain and sorrow; I felt that life had gratified our zest and vigour and we must be, contend.
Silence fell upon us as we pursued our separate reflection. We finally halted, because, our lives suited us“.

Seven years passed
“An inordinate length of time passed and our marriage sustained without me living under the same roof as him. He appeared pleased because he was at liberty and unrestricted to achieve all that he sought after. He had green light from me. We saw each other each, and every time he, was, accessible, and needed and had, yen to see me, and that was safe, and sound with me.

I was preoccupied with the farmhouse because, that was my only source of revenue; moreover, there was abundantly of work to see to and organize.
I believed I was just having a run of fortuity or possibly, he had finally acknowledged me not breathing together with him underneath the same roof. Nevertheless, I kept my eyes wide opened because I was dead sure he was false-hearted.

Anyway, I expressed warmly, thanks to him that he was not pestering me for living unglued.
He was, sensible not to pursuit me with that idea, but he was without doubt a cranky and cantankerous man who by one way or the other surveyed what I was up to.
During the course of our marriage, I have learnt how I should comport myself under any given circumstances. I have learnt how to avoid arguments and skirmishes although; I was always panicky by his cumulative responses and reactions. However, he was not up to my debauched and unscrupulous humor and there was a clear indication that he was having a good time and enjoying himself thus, he did not bother.
Perhaps having communicated aggressively with him by the use of body language previously, had made him to understand that I was aware of the fact that there was no limit to his treachery, duplicity and trickeries but I could be worse.
Once, when I visited him, he turned his head and looked at me without embarrassment noir blushing, but with an expression in his, eyes that was, scrutinizing but delighted.
I felt conscious –stricken because, I did not really care. I had, given him go ahead to do what he required.
He had a good gaze at me and asked how I was faring. I knew he was able to placing me out cold and leaving me brusquely or recklessly in the dich at times. However, I felt that life was a cause deserving support and, was worth considering. I knew I could confront the future bravely by myself.
For some years, I was happy. However, it was awful, having to part with him in longer periods, knowing, he could be sick without having any help and without, having any one he liked around him.
Because, he seemed to be in poor health the last time I saw him, on the other hand, he talked eagerly to me about his doings without any sign that he was in ill health”.
I knew that I have interrupted a marriage but I was young, inexperienced and naïve. I separated my own family from one another with a tragic outcome therefore; I deserve to be, cursed of something I did during my past. It was a sinful thing and it affected my past, present and life. It has been like a deep shadow, a flying swallow, following me, consequently, I am, cursed and curse requires a reason to be effective.
Proverbs 26: The reason is dishonest sex (Deuteronomy 27: 20-23). Therefore, I have suffered and I am suffering from the effect of my wrong sexual relationships, particularly those outside of marriage and with members of my own family, the basis of the curse of, which is idolatry and I agree to it and ask for forgiveness.

Chapter 13
Loneliness creeping in Bea`s Life

A decade later and death of Bea`s husband

Bea sighed, touched by the sudden fleeting sadness for her husband, who had died. It was sudden. Bea was mourning and had not recovered from the shock. She had not been at the husband`s home for the past two months. The last time Bea saw her husband he looked well, but according to the neighbours he had fallen sick a week ago. It was heart problems. Bea was thankful that he had gone quickly because he was suffering from many ailments and that his suffering was not, prolonged. Although, she had not always been there, she missed him so very dearly. There would always be emptiness without him.
A memorial service and life celebrations were, carried out to reflect on Bea`s husbands life and to offer the deceased’s loved ones a gentle avenue for entering the mourning process. Bea mourned.
Remembering their time together, Bea sat on her bed and she let go of her sadness and the painful memories of his passing.
Apart from the shock and anguish she had suffered with her husband`s death, the last few years had been blameless. He had finally understood that Bea wanted to live in her own house because she found her house on the hill very comfortable and becalming to live there. The rooms were spacious and there was plenty of sunshine, it was, airy. It had a happy atmosphere.
Bea loved especially her lawn and her garden. It was for her, a paradise. She had planted rose bushes and variety of other flowers, she had acquired from Metropolis. It was indeed a heavenly place for Bea and she, derived much enjoyment from it. There were tall Japanese trees, as well as whispering plants at the far left corner of her lawn, which shaded the grass at noon making the place cooler and airy. Indeed, the gardens had a special excellence, especially when viewed from the veranda.
One splendid day, she decided to visit her daughter Winnifred and her grandchildren. She felt lonely.
Visiting her daughter Winnifred
One morning, Bea was in her bedroom when she heard that someone was looking after her.
From the first moment, she stepped into their house, Bea felt as if she belonged there. It was, as if she had returned from a lengthy and far away voyage to a place she had always known. She felt like coming home. For the reason that, she felt there was affection, peace and tranquility within the walls of the house. She felt very happy and liberated from lonesomeness.

It was a chilly and raining off and on quite heavily. She experienced the day as a harsh day, exceptionally cold and the sky was morose, loaded with rumbling, so she presumed nobody would come to see her.
She was vexed at being interrupted in her thoughts and could not know why someone could be looking for her in such a horrible weather.
Her conscience was at ease because the only person she could think of was her husband but she felt she had made a compromise and hoped he was not sick. She was daydreaming because the husband had just died. Bea worried because for him because he had no immediate family living nearby. Moreover, she had not seen the husband for months.

Although Bea often felt lonely, she did not visit her husband. She was without doubt a woman in her seventies, but she was very well preserved and wonderfully healthy and groomed. Although there were revealing lines of age around her eyes and her mouth, these were acceptable, hardly noticeable, she had kept her figure and there were only a few observable grey in her hair. Her walking was rapid and hurried. Her high-spiritedness, her lively way of moving and talking with strength and rapidity, added to the impress of freshness she revealed.
She thought it was more likely that some harm had come unto a neighbor. However, she expected no great danger.
She emerged from her bedroom and saw one of her grandsons. She had not anticipated seeing him. He had come from afar and had no place to stay. He was the son of Michael. His father was deceased as well as his mother at very young ages. His son Mike never married her grandson’s mother.
A cold shiver passed through her. She was much surprised to see him. She had remembered having written to come and stay with her for a while when she was away. She had rented some rooms out and the rentals must be, paid monthly. He was to collect them. She intended to travel to visit her daughter Amatia and her other two granddaughters and grandsons. Nevertheless, as she fully recollected he had refused.

Bea had a feeling that it was going to be a propitious occasion however; she welcomed him and asked him to sit down. He narrated at somewhat excessive length about what he had been doing, but Bea understood little of such matters and the only concrete fact she gathered was that he was making money wherever he came from.
Bea listened avidly, and she knew she would be foolish if she turned down this opportunity without listening to him. There would be no one to take care of her house when she was away.
After a lengthy conversation, Bea directed him to one room she had not yet sublet.

A few days later, she started her journey three days after her grandson arrived. She wanted to see her daughter. She journeyed and felt at peace at last. Bea was overjoyed to see her daughter after such a long time, and meet the grandchildren. She took to her grandchildren at once.
Winnifred was her daughter from her second marriage. There were two boys and a girl. She studied to become a teacher after which she married and had four children. Unfortunately, her husband died leaving the four children to Amatia alone to care for them. She never married again. Bea would not like it. She was always quick to blaze up at the smallest mention in the direction of menfolk; she would drift into annoyance and, storm out. Winnifred was often, confused and riddled with inquisitiveness but she had nothing to say to her Mom, she knew best. Years of rigid self-control never fell away. Supplementary restrains, of her own free will, over the years never cracked. She was dismayed, so disgusted by her mother’s advice and felt at times that she had lost her right mind, listening to Bea.

The fact that her mother Bea would have objected to her marrying again had never occurred to her before, but now that her mother had said it, it depressed her. However, she listened to Bea and, she never even thought of a man friend or marrying.
Winnifred`s mind automatically swayed to her children, memorizing their years of suffering and uneasiness with money, the funding of the children’s education and her problems and loneliness. The disgusting thing was; that none of it need ever to happen if, she had married, it had all been unnecessary. Finally, she married the church.

She did not often visit her but she had truly come to visit them and to cherish this start with all the family. Bea thought of it as, an exceptional vacation. She was to adore the amenity of lingering in her wrapper, without having the want to hurry, frivolously wandering with her various views and sometimes imagining about her daughter and her grandchildren’s future without a husband. Moreover, she hopped that their future could be healthy-looking but without a husband. She was optimistic and looked at their future in the most positive way, expecting the best.

Winnifred was a unique woman, companionable with people. She had four children to look after, a little girl of three years. The other three children were grown up and were at school. She was Bea`s favourite daughter. At her home, Bea felt safe, and after months of frugality living by herself and with a mystic marriage, she was now, surrounded by, a daughter and four grandchildren in a gargantuan superfluity and coziness, and she admired that.
Winnifred was equally happy to see her mother; she thought that it would be quite wrong to start arguing with her mother. That would be too upsetting to her mother, who had travelled very far to visit them, and who, was always, loving towards her and the grandchildren. It would also defame her mother if, she were to start talking about her present husband and her so many marriages, consequently she remained hushed. Winnifred was pleased though, that her mother had assisted them with fiscal assistances from the sugar cane farm and from the selling of properties from the sugar cane farms, to which she was indebted.

The whole family stayed in her daughter’s house in harmony. Bea pushing aside her disciplinary oddity and busied herself in the kitchen and went about cooking and undertaking miniature housework when everybody had gone to school and cultivated some plants in the garden. She was delighted and pacified to be there.

Bea narrates a story to her grandchildren
Bea, “I stayed there for three months and I was very pleased. None of them tried to influence me on the other hand, they all tried to talk intelligently to me about everything. I was, deeply impressed by their bearing and behaviour, their spirituality, and their praiseworthiness. It was not a lazy life they, led. They were all, relentlessly engaged with their schoolwork and they were pleased that I was there.
I appreciated the splendour of their services. It was so wonderful for me to attend the Methodist church with them and sang songs of worship. However, dropped out from time to time and dozed off and on, and nobody saw the reason to wake an exhausted grandmother, so I kept on dozing off.
After the church services, we all went home.
One evening, I gathered all of them to tell them a very strange story I had once.
One day a family member by the name Selina visited us. She stayed in our house on at the top of a hill. All the siblings’ lived in the house at that time, that is to say your four grandmothers,
She was, taken to the guest room. She was, affluent. She assembled all the siblings’ and showed us her jewelry collections, trinkets, necklaces, bracelets, rings and costume jewelry. We were young and had never seen such riches before. They were all shinning and sparkling with such brilliance that the room became illuminated. They were, beautiful and stunning. We were teen-agers without knowledge of ornaments and they made a memorable impression on us.
We put them on, and celebrated with songs and dancing and, enjoyed ourselves with the ornaments, showing off our womanhood. We wore them everywhere in the house, to feel how they were.
We finally celebrated with some delicious and palatable food that day. We were happy for auntie Selina. We were very pleased and thrilled. Because we had never seen such ornaments before and we had opportunity to wear the adornments’. It was an exciting day.
After the celebration, we collected the jewelry and gave all of them back to Auntie Selina. She counted them, and each one had been, returned. It was late so, we gave ourselves in. That night we all slept, profoundly and soundly. We had to wake up early the following morning to go to work. The subsequent day, each one of us attended our assigned duties.
Selina woke up the following morning happy and relaxed. She was sure her jewelry were, well kept.”
The grandchildren, “Grandma, grandma, was it all?”
Bea, “No, just wait, do not be impatient”
Grandchildren, “What happened?” “The subsequent day, after everybody has gone to work, a man with a dog knocked at the outside door of the house asking for somebody. There was nobody in the house except Auntie Selina. She opened the door to let the chap into the house”
Grandchildren “Why did she open?”
Bea,” She, was very inquisitive and she was bored”
Grandchildren, “Was it wrong that she opened the door?”
Bea, “I should think so, because I would not have opened the door especially, holding so much wealth of jewelry.”
Grandchildren, “But the stranger did not know about the ornaments”
Bea, “No the stranger did not know but why risk, if you had such wealth with you. There are many bad people around, one must entertain carefulness?”
Grandchildren “Go on grandma, what happened?”
Bea, “Auntie Selina opened the door and the stranger was allowed into the house, asking for a name, Auntie Selina had no idea of. She gave the stranger a chair. It was a man with a dog. She initiated a conversation. She was fond, of dogs, and liked, them especially poodles. She put the poodle on her laps and amused herself with it. The dog was, smart; she fancied that. The poodle had a thick curling compacted white wool. Auntie Selina quickly run to the room and fetched her ornaments. She sat down again and caressed, stroked, patted and cuddled with the poodle. She, wraps her jewelry around the poodle`s neck and continued, to chat with the foreigner whilst she fooled around, with the poodle all over the household.
All of a sudden, the bell at the outside door rang again. Selina left the poodle to open the outside door again”
Children, “What did the stranger say?”
Bea, “The stranger had observed what was going on, and had kept quiet planning his move”
Grandchildren, “What move”?
Bea, “That was to be seen. Whilst Auntie Selina was out to open the outside door, the dog sprung on the owner, the stranger. Auntie saw two young boys who had lost their football while playing outdoors and were asking if the football had, landed in the house. She took the two boys into the house to search for their football with them. She was thrilled and spent quite a while with the boys asking questions about their school and some science questions and, joshed with the boys. They searched for the football leaving the stranger and the poodle with the ornaments around its neck.
The stranger stood up from his chair after a reasonable length of time, and requested Selina permission to leave. She, being so preoccupied and engrossed in the boys, had disremembered the poodle and her ornaments. In her mind, the stranger was superfluous and unessential.
The stranger departed with his poodle and the ornaments whilst, Selina only gave a hand wave to him when he asked for permission to leave. He had also forgotten that the poodle had the ornaments wrapped around its neck and she was preoccupied with the boys.
Grandchildren, “What about the ornaments?”
Bea, “She was too preoccupied with the two boys. She was fond of them and was eager to find their football. She had in the mean, time forgotten all about the stranger, the poodle and her ornaments.
Grandchildren, “Why did Auntie Selina forget?”
Bea, “She saw only her own thoughts, projected outward. Her thoughts were obsessed with the boys. She was worried, anxious, excessively concerned with the boys and was lost in her thoughts. Her mind was blank, and perhaps in her mindset, a dog was a canine a bowwow, and a stranger was an unfamiliar person, but the two boys was conversing with were, children. That mattered more to her than a stranger and canine.”
Grandchildren, “So, what happened?”
Bea, “Selina searched for the football together with the two boys. They were not capable to find it. The boys expressed thanks her and departed.
All of a sudden, she recalled that she was playing with a poodle and that she had her jewelry wrapped around the neck of the poodle. She searched for the poodle and the stranger and recollected he had said cheerio to her. She became panicky, uneasy and tense and yelled for help. Not one person came to her rescue, the stranger had long gone.”
Grandchildren,” So what happened to the jewelry?”
Bea, “Auntie Selina lost her ornaments. She unwantedly bequeathed her fortune away. She was shocked and stunned. Her thoughts returned too late to the present as the boys departed from her. Coupled with tense mental insipidness, Selina comprehended that the unconceivable thing was that it was all so, recognizable and factual, she had lost her riches. There was no point for her to continue to yell for help therefore, the stranger had walked off, unquestioned and unhindered. For the first time a beam of bitterness, animosity and rancor crossed her innocent face”
Grandchildren, “Wow, wow, this was a pity”
Recall of Bea, arrival of a granddaughter from abroad
Felicia’s, first daughter was Diana. She married a pilot and gave birth to four girls. Three of the girls died with the exception of one, Lydia. She married and had two daughters. Her marriage did, not succeed so; she travelled abroad where she met someone and married. Her two daughters were, left in care of Bea, who took benevolent care in the future of both girls. After many years abroad, Lydia`s husband died and she returned to the county to meet Bea her aunt.
Bea had travelled; she was, visiting Amatia and her grandchildren. Lydia with her vitality brought a breath of fresh air into the meretricious atmosphere. She swept in like a knight in shining armor. Lydia, with her amiabilities, called Bea up to travel back to the county.
It all seemed wonderful and nice, Bea thought. This really was another life. It gave, her a thrilling sense of being, in the middle of things, she was no more solitary but in, the middle of a pool of folks. This was real. She appeared to be especially delighted because she had not seen her niece Lydia, for many years.

Bea travelled back to the county. She met Lydia and they talked in desultory, casual manner. They were both blissful and animated.
They had driven a business together in the past and all these came into reminiscence.
Suddenly Bea felt a great wave of strength and passion surging through her unhindered, she could no longer confine herself, and was unable to hold back, she howled. She was happy to see Lydia. Lydia, sighed heavily, and kneeling down she began to thank Bea absolutely. She had brought her son of twenty-six-years old with her. She was not sure if they could stay. For the reason that, at first, she established connection with her father Ben, who is alive. Due to the fact, that her father`s new wife had acquired expanded family, there was no place to house her and the son. There was no room for them. They were, lodged in a poorly established hotel. They had nowhere else to go; consequently, she had to put up with her long abandoned daughter, Joan, who had a one-room apartment. Therefore, two days later, she left her daughter`s apartment in the metropolis and journeyed to the grandmother Bea in the province.
The grandmother Bea accepted, and welcome them. With care, gracefulness, and great skill, Bea brought Lydia to new peaks of passion. They sat down opposite each other; Bea lifted her head and smiled. Life would have been much tougher for Lydia than it is if it were not, for the fantastic assistance of Bea.
Lydia became happy and she suddenly rose to her feet, her eyes were, filled with tears. She recognized that Bea was a woman of noble thoughts and virtuous character. She felt she would always look upon Bea, as a privilege to have her as her grandmother. She felt more alive than she had ever felt before, with an energy that cried out to be, consumed. If respectable change was of the core of way of life, she was happy to have found it at Bea`s. She sensed that nothing in this world was permanent, nothing lasted forever, and she would be foolish not to stay with Bea while it lasted. Her own father had shunned her. She was not an idly woman and was glad to assist Bea and to be of help to her grandmother.

Lydia, “I have come into your world too late and too old and not alone but with my son. You did not know about my coming. I should have entered your life earlier when reliance was a matter of option; then my behaviors would have been unblemished. Now, I have sought to enter your well, established world to mess things up for you. I am sorry that you are unaware of my coming. I did not know anyone I could turn to. My own father turned me away. I wanted to make something out of my life but I did not know what. I have kept on asking myself what life is for, because after all, it is only by luck that I am alive. I thank the Almighty that He had shown my son and me, the path to you. I have always been good in housekeeping and that I will help you with and take good care of you”
Bea, “I am happy you are here. There are people who have everything and seem to be in the best of healthiness, flourishing and affluent, without any worries and apprehensions, and yet, there are, tortured by it. I am not affluent and have nothing. What I have we will share. I have my life and that is enough. We shall manage.”
Lydia, “Almost all the people who have had most effect on me have turned away from me. It is as if they were waiting to reject me.”
Bea, “Such is life. You know the reason why you travelled abroad. You did not travel because you wanted to rest but to work and sought out your thoughts. You got a job, married and had a son. It is rather unfortunate that your husband passed away, but then again nobody lives forever. We shall try to manage. I think you are capable of doing great things. You are not mindless or sappy and you give one the impression of an exquisite transparency of soul, you are not supercilious or arrogant. We shall overcome.”

Bea`s words were followed by a brief silence. Neither of them spoke. They viewed at each other, their eyes bolting for a split second. Lydia began to speak.
Lydia, she was confident, principled and ardent, and said reflectively “I am very happy in your company, and my heart is filled with amiable memories of the past and I have recovered in spirit and there is pleasure in my heart. We were very close when we were young women and we really cared rather deeply for each other, and I am happy to be back”
Bea, “That’s all right.”
Lydia, in a great rush of words, she said, “Thank you grandmother.”
Although Lydia was thrilled that she was finally back to her grandmother and was, now being launched in the way she wanted, one thing marred her happiness. This was her estrangement from her own father Ben. He was rather, remote and cold towards her.

Lydia, her son and her grandmother, Bea, began a new life. They lived together.
In the next few days, it seemed to Lydia that inspiration dwelt in her thoughts. She focused on her business with her usual concentration, buying and selling eggs. She had grabbed the idea at once, seeing its incredible possibilities. The following weeks, she traveled outside the county, procured eggs on wholesale and traded them. She worked around the clock. In spite of everything, the two of them managed to have a pleasant social life, and in many ways, this was the most excited life either of them had experienced.

The unfortunate accident
One day, in December during the Christmas season, Bea felt and broke her left hip fracture, a common injury, especially in people older people and required surgery for treatment. Bea`s other grandchild was present on holidays. It was a supreme effort on all of their parts, and a monumental achievement to have Bea transported to the emergency hospital unit.
A deep sign escaped her, and she shook her head, mildly irritated with herself. She was having strange thoughts. She was on the verge of tears, dwelling on her husband’s death, and now she was, invalidated with all sorts’ imponderables and unknowns. Tears sprang into her eyes and she flickered, and scrubbed them away. As she spoke, one could hear the tightness in her voice, she was maddened. The tension had been building up in her since the accident occurred. In her mindset, she thought had, she not travelled back from her daughter Winnifred to meet Lydia, she would not have encountered such an accident, and that disparaged her.
Lydia eyed her quizzically, and stared intently, wondering if Bea was insinuating something about her but she realized that they were in a hospital ward consequently, she would not question her about ambiguities, but later. A million thoughts rushed through Lydia`s head. So many things Bea had never told her, never shared, so many words she had never spoken. She made up her mind to ask Bea when she felt better.

At the Hospital
It was a warm day, and Bea was, subjected to hospital procedures.The last thing she did not need was, for her to be sorrowful of her husband’s passing and her own misfortune on a day like this. Bea was, subjected to normal hospital procedures and the displaced pelvic fracture was, stabilized temporarily by immobilization and partial reduction of displacement. Bea had neither abdominal, head, nor thoracic injuries. After external fixation, which was, indicated for patients who were hemodynamically unstable with pelvic fractures, she was subsequently, subjected to surgical intervention.
All patients should be out of bed or upright in bed on postoperative day one to help pulmonary function. She underwent radiographic evaluation at 2, 6, and 12 weeks after surgery. Sutures were, removed at 2-3 weeks and two weeks later, she was able to maneuver with crutches or a walker.



September 19, 2015 § Leave a comment


Where is the School located? It is located at Haatso, Greater Accra, behind Legon, University of Ghana.

Is it difficult to find?  No, relax and follow the instructions, no apprehensions.

How do I get there?  Now, take your time and without any pressure and stress read these instructions.

From Kasoa, take a car or drive towards Medina, pass the University of Legon and Presec towards Atomic Junction. Turn towards Atomic road on your left, drive down the road, some two kilometers pass Emefa, the Jewelry shop, to supermarket junction. Our signboard is visible on your left. Follow the signs.

From Accra, Drive towards Legon, the University of Ghana, and a little further towards Presec to Atomic Junction, turn to your left as stipulated above.

From Teshi Nungua, Drive or take a car towards Medina, drive pass Legon, the University of Ghana, and follow as stipulated

From Medina, Drive or take a car towards Haatso, or towards the Atomic junction, towards Haatso, the Atomic road will be on your left. Drive pass Emefa to the Supermarket Junction. You will find our signboard. Follow our road signs

From the Westland’s Drive towards Haatso, turn on the Atomic road towards supermarket Junction

 St John`s areas, Drive on the Atomic Road, pass the Police Station towards the supermarket.

 Are the Fees affordable? Naturally, you would expect me to say, yes, it is affordable, but really, it is reasonably, priced, and more, within your means.

Do I have to pay the whole fees at once? No, you can divide the amount; however, every unsettled payments must be, settled before the end of the term and before final examination.

Where can I buy the forms? You have to come to the School to buy the forms and register at Haatso. The contact line is 00 233 246544252

How do I register? I live outside Ghana, in Nigeria. You have to come to Ghana and register at the School. We have no online registration


June 14, 2015 § Leave a comment

Prof Dr Jeff Akvama

A human is born a free individual with equal qualities, equal rights, equal opportunities, equal wisdom, and equal sense of right and wrong. They include but, are not carried out in accordance with established or prescribed rules of education, scientific researches, high academic status, and liberal fields and particular technical skills. We have a limited period during which an action, process, and condition exist and take place.

Prodigious, emotionally resilient and intense changes in society and the collapse of some of our valued principals have often produced a belief that poverty should be regarded as immoral and wrong in a tolerant way without criticizing it but, richness should be considered as good practice. Moral principles governing appropriate conduct of human beings should be honesty, open-mindedness, respect, and the hope that things will turn out well.

There is a great sense of adventure and pioneering enthusiasm among human beings. It is from our deep desire for life that we should pose to grasp the meaning of life of those who from years of unsuccessful attempts in life, and who wish to end their suffering, should know that we care about them.

Poor or rich, perfect or not, we have at least deepening knowledge of life because we endeavour to start life afresh.

For us to grasp the meaning of existing in this physical world from a sound judgment, we must look into the past for the foundation of the present. There are far too many disasters we must try to survive them by taking precautionary methods. You must listen to your instincts.

There are vast areas in which civilized initiatives, inventiveness, and creativities demand direction and control. We must not desist because the duties and activities to be accomplished are so vast and that the aid we offer would be a drop in the ocean. No, these little drops will make an Ocean. There should be meaningful achievements and should not be incorporated with profits and oppressions.

It is in the light of our meaningful doings that the generation that would come into control of life, the generation that will question the whole kit and caboodle, will make an attempt to shape the future and device ways of achieving a clever and honest world for the betterment of humanity.

Time changes and natural catastrophes have had devastating effects on human lives and economic growth but we must survive. The moods of people have changed. Security and livelihood of societies are damaged. Success of individual efforts to help can only be achieved by smartened understanding. Our vitality, ability, zest, affinity of the mind, spirit, and temperament can help to defeat grief and to achieve spiritual dimensions and a level of existence. The dead cannot be revived and financial problems incurred cannot be dealt with so quickly but as long as there is life there is hope. Our attempts to survive would be an achievement to be admired and respected as a proof of victory, liberation, vitality and passion and humanness.

Society’s mercy is in the hands of the Maker, a fight for achievement should accompany a search for a road that would make the future a living journey, undimmed by shadows of social and natural calamities. But first, we must make right decisions in our lives. Problems arise especially for many for whom it is all too easy to misinterpret life; thus, their selections, choices and interpretations are sometimes too demanding to accept and too problematic to agree to their decisions that seem right. However, we must endeavour because it may leave them with loneliness, frustrations and self-pity. Their impulses in life may vanish with their perception in destruction. We all live in a world in which determinations and selections, though shadowed by unpredictability, remain the only comparative means of existing. People learn to live.

Hopeful impressions of our conscious minds can be helpful towards these rejections. Some sections of people should not become inventors and others recipients. Conflicts should not lead people in darkness and devious paths. We should not act contagiously and destroy all that is good, healthy, peaceful and beautiful. Demoralization follows unemployment, unemployment follows poverty, poverty follows criminality and criminality affects all of us. People with acrimonious life, who turn anger to ferocious deeds, find no relief in themselves. They smile hypocritically and with unfailing discomforts because there is no quality of life in them to rebuild. To maintain intellectual equilibrium, people should search for availabilities and which make them stay alive. Others have tried successfully.

We do not have powerfulness; we must hope that relief will save us from the dinginess and cheerlessness of the stultifying and deadening conditions. We should not display signs of negative resignation due to hopelessness and despair. Society cannot maintain life and develop effectively if we give up.

If it happens, the whole meaning and purpose of life will fall to the mercy of accident. Society’s hope for the future is anchored upon self-dignity and knowledge which corresponds to our personal beliefs. Nobody holds life cheap. Sometimes, a structured community of people may be weakened. Some of us are mono-idealistic and dictatorial thus; the rest of the society hides themselves in solitude with grief, weariness, angst, depression and ambivalence and have no freedom of mind, spirit and inward peace. Human beings want peace and tranquillity.

Quality of life is a quality to be resurrected. In hypothesizing quality of life, it is complex and composed of multiple dimensions. It means different things to different people. We all want to lead a normal life others, in addition, have personal aims. Each of us wants to achieve security, position in life and to apply our intellect and physic to obtain our aims. There should be gender equality.

Human beings perspectives, feelings, beliefs, desire, conscious minds, values, life-satisfactions, happiness are, refined and dignified. These are the qualities of life human beings should adopt to achieve satisfaction. One may feel sad and downcast if one were to wake up one morning to hear that one’s next door neighbour, whom he had never hailed for many years, had died. Terrible!!!

To find some general truth in our misfortunes in life one must gain practical wisdom, constructive hope and changes upon which this impotent and powerless stigma and dishonour may swing into defeat.

Our minds must not be put in dismay. There are a lot of life’s minute pleasures to enjoy. The weak is always at the mercy of the rich. If only the sensitivity in us becomes aware of the condition, society will create new ideas and humanity in us will create understanding, harmony and peace instead of confusion and egotism which destroys spiritual lives and renders human beings powerless. Hopeful impressions of our conscious minds can be helpful to bring out our humanness.


June 14, 2015 § Leave a comment


History of pre-colonial period of Ghana and the slave trade is, not completely known in details due to lack of archaeological evidences and neglect of western historians. Storytelling is the conveying of events in words, images and sounds, often by improvisation or exaggeration, lacked amongst African ancestors. Stories are oral and there is no evidence of documents unlike the Dead Sea Scrolls. However, Accounts written by Europeans often tone down the tragedy.

The goal is to retrieve the slave trade from some historical neglects and the loss of memory, and reinstate it to its rightful place at the forefront of modern history and current issues.

This book is to honour the 54th anniversary of Ghana’s independence and the 400th anniversary of the Jamestown settlement in this same year. My aim is, geared to recognize and scrutinize the many issues and effects that the trade brought to the African World and black people, and to search for ways and means to make this information relevant and widely known in our generation. Books written by Africans on the subject are unprejudiced.

This book provides the reader with basic understanding of The Transatlantic Slave trade in especially Ghana, West Africa.  It provides the reader with the background of the nation Ghana, tribal wars and the role played by the chiefs and kings during the slave trade. It was European trade. As quoted by a freed slave from Ghana, “If there were no buyers there would be no sellers.” By, the same token “if there were no sellers there would be no buyers”. Whatever philosophy one formulates, the cries of agony, the putrid smell of feces, urine and vomit along with decaying corpses come alive in this book as they combine into a powerful force to hit every sense organ of the living.

The story is, based on oral narrations. The roots of antagonisms amongst various ethnic groups and lineages within Ghana and the impacts of the social disruptions created in the past due to the slave trade are, portrayed in the book.

The Africans enslaved adopted a new culture, Neoethosm based on their African heritage.  An arrangement where an individual is bought, and sold, by another individual for the purpose of compulsory labour is slavery.

The triangular trade barred Africans from developing their own although, Africa was rich in labour, wealth, natural resources and good weather conditions. There were abundance of money fetching crops such as cotton, rice, corn, hemp, sugar, tobacco and workforce consisting of people with physical and mental ability directed to work in West Africa, yet, Africans were brutally, shipped to other continents.

Thus, in the late 1700’s to early 1860’s    4,000,000 people were transported to the United States to be sold as slaves, the chiefs, and the kings, with their superciliousness, unaware of the suffering of their own people were happy to get rid of their enemies.  It was easier to get rid of strong enemies and be, salaried.

The enslaved were, kept in dungeons under terrible conditions before being, transported and passed through a horrifying Middle Passage during the Triangular Trade before winding up on plantations in the Americas.

In America, the   enslaved were material goods, not persons and were, treated as such. They were properties and any break of the slave owners’ laws was punishable by whippings, torture, imprisonment, or sold or killed.     Owning a slave was, seen as a symbol of wealth, supremacy and high prestige.  This kind of oddity has followed them the rest of their lives. Consequently, procuring a slave was getting rid of their inferiority complexes. Those who could not obtain a slave propounded a philosophy that although, they were poor, they were, not black, they were whites and their colour motivated them satisfaction in life.

Nonetheless, there were white slaves who endured the same punishment as the blacks as well as white children during the Industrial Revolution and in Australia and in America.

In this book, I have reviewed a short history of ancient empire of Ghana, settlements, wars, and animosities amongst the various tribes and amongst Africans in general.

Europe was economically and politically weak and could only trade around the Black and the Mediterranean Seas. Due to the political change in the Middle East, Europe had to look for somewhere else. That somewhere else, was Ghana and the West African societies. These countries are still not coming in terms with slavery and expansionism.

The slave trade had detrimental effect on long-term economic growth and development as well as political stability and psychological effects. West Africans were, sold on sale. The slave trade hampered the formation of larger ethnic groups and caused ethnic fractionalization. The young generations of the present inhabitants of modern Ghana are aware that there are overwhelming twists and turns in every human life irrespective of legacy, something that is, handed down from ancient Ghana, and which, has to be, fixed.  “Fragile local economy and societies are still, being severely harmed by the on-going trade.” The slave trade still exist in society. It has only taken another form.

As, Dr. David Livingstone quoted; the slave trade was, a joined venture by the world and has left Africans a scar- complex. Africans were, spread in millions into foreign countries and their descendants carried talents and communitarian ideals, rich cultural traditions and philosophies that transformed and enriched the cultures in the Americas. I have made efforts to encourage descendants of enslaved Africans to learn more about their history. Slavery is eradication of human stage, semantics, values, culture, development and humanity. The Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade begun from 1450 to 1874, 424 years, but slavery of Africans by Europeans and Americans was from 1450 to 1888, 438 years . It is still ongoing

Geoffrey Kofi Akuamoa (Jeff Akvama)